fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2176 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2176 ⌋

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Notes:

Sorry for late, busy day.

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Asexuality doesn't weird me out, but I get really tired of all of the "sexuals are like THIS" stuff that some of the Tumblr asexual community want to spout off. Especially since those generalizations usually boil down to a roundabout way to imply that "sexuals" are mostly slutty sluts and never require any level of emotional investment to have sex with someone.

Not familiar with Tumblr, but agreed. That kind of talk also makes me feel like a huge weirdo, because I am most definitely sexual, but the number of people I've ever actually wanted to have sex with is well in the single digits.

Me too, anon! And I've never actually had sex with anyone. I choose to wait at this point in my life.

Another opinion that can be unpopular irl, but isn't really here? I see virgin-shaming every now and then and it pisses me off but it doesn't happen a whole lot.

Yeah, I see it once in a while. Not quite the same, but I'm always a little ticked when some people find out that I've been with a girl but not a guy (bi), and they're like, "Oh...really? Huh." like it's weird.

This comment doesn't really make sense to me since I don't know what gender you are :x

Same here. I have no problem with other people enjoying casual sex, but it's just not for me, and it's silly to assume that anyone who's not asexual wants to fuck everything that moves. Different people have different libidos and vastly different criteria about what they require from a relationship (or non-relationship) before they'll sleep with someone.

I just think it's funny. Sexual people = the overwhelming majority of people, so how the fuck do you think you could generalize them in any way???

I find it especially amusing that the same people will argue until their blue in the fact that labels like "demisexual" and "grey-A" are necessary, too. I'm not saying they're not necessary - I do think they're helpful for some people - but you can't make sweeping generalizations about "sexuals" and make it sound like we all have the same level of libido/requirements for sleeping with or being in a relationship with someone, while insisting that there should be a label for every slight difference when it comes to asexuality.

Wait

People put "demisexual" under the "asexual" umbrella and not the "sexual" umbrella?

*scratches head*

Yep. On the one hand, I can kind of understand how it falls under the asexual umbrella to a degree, but on the other, all of the "I only want to have sex with people when I have an emotional connection with them!" thing makes me just tilt my head and go "... that's not that unusual?" Then again, it may just be that I've been seeing really shitty explanations of it, and that's why I can't quite wrap my head around it.

I think the idea is supposed to be that it's not only "want to have sex with someone unless there's an emotional bond" but "never get turned on or experience physical attraction unless there's an emotional bond".

I may not personally be interested in having sex with someone who I'm not in a relationship with, but that doesn't mean I stop having a libido when I'm single.

Yeah if that's what it's supposed to mean then it makes sense. I wonder if that's really a thing that a lot of people experience, hmmm. Or if it really needs to be its own "orientation".

Yeah, and I really kinda relate to that too? The only person I've ever actively *wanted* to sleep with was my ex-boyfriend of over three years. And that kind of deep desire only comes for me when I get really close to someone. I mean I can look at a guy and go "man he's attractive" but that doesn't mean I want to fuck him? And I know there are a lot of different way of seeing this and I'm not necessarily in the majority here, but I also know it really isn't uncommon. So if that's what "demisexual" is supposed to mean I think it's just really dumb... (And I am definitely a "sexual" person)

But then again maybe it's not what it's supposed to mean *shrug*

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