fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2176 ]

[ SECRET POST #2176 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2176 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Sorry for late, busy day.

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 075 secrets from Secret Submission Post #311.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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If you're on the internet and you make a big deal about your asexuality I automatically assme you actually aren't, you just nevers been asked by a guy/girl or you're too shy to out yourself out there and you find saying your 'asexual' is easier than saying "I'm terrified of being rejected."

Also, asexuality weirds me out. Sorry I just don't get it, and I'm going to go out of my way to avoid your fanfictions.

That's understandable. As an asexual person, the sexual attitudes in fandom seem really alien and weird to me, too.

I tend to assume that too (not everyone who says they're asexual - just the ones who go on about it all the time and never talk about anything else).

Although I have to wonder, if you enjoyed a fanfic and later found out the author was asexual, would you not read anything else by that author?

Opps. I phrased that wrong. asexuals can write all the fic they want and if it's good I read it.

It's when they make a character asexual I pass. I'm just not interested.

Even if the fic isn't about teh sex?

(If you're looking for porn, then I don't even get why this needs to be said)

Why do you even care if someone claims to be asexual? How does the sexuality (or lack thereof) of a stranger on the internet affect you in any consequential way? You sound really judgmental.

I know....It's almost like this is a thread about unpopular opinions!

lol

Asexuality doesn't weird me out, but I get really tired of all of the "sexuals are like THIS" stuff that some of the Tumblr asexual community want to spout off. Especially since those generalizations usually boil down to a roundabout way to imply that "sexuals" are mostly slutty sluts and never require any level of emotional investment to have sex with someone.

Not familiar with Tumblr, but agreed. That kind of talk also makes me feel like a huge weirdo, because I am most definitely sexual, but the number of people I've ever actually wanted to have sex with is well in the single digits.

Me too, anon! And I've never actually had sex with anyone. I choose to wait at this point in my life.

Another opinion that can be unpopular irl, but isn't really here? I see virgin-shaming every now and then and it pisses me off but it doesn't happen a whole lot.

Yeah, I see it once in a while. Not quite the same, but I'm always a little ticked when some people find out that I've been with a girl but not a guy (bi), and they're like, "Oh...really? Huh." like it's weird.

This comment doesn't really make sense to me since I don't know what gender you are :x

Same here. I have no problem with other people enjoying casual sex, but it's just not for me, and it's silly to assume that anyone who's not asexual wants to fuck everything that moves. Different people have different libidos and vastly different criteria about what they require from a relationship (or non-relationship) before they'll sleep with someone.

I just think it's funny. Sexual people = the overwhelming majority of people, so how the fuck do you think you could generalize them in any way???

I find it especially amusing that the same people will argue until their blue in the fact that labels like "demisexual" and "grey-A" are necessary, too. I'm not saying they're not necessary - I do think they're helpful for some people - but you can't make sweeping generalizations about "sexuals" and make it sound like we all have the same level of libido/requirements for sleeping with or being in a relationship with someone, while insisting that there should be a label for every slight difference when it comes to asexuality.

Wait

People put "demisexual" under the "asexual" umbrella and not the "sexual" umbrella?

*scratches head*

Yep. On the one hand, I can kind of understand how it falls under the asexual umbrella to a degree, but on the other, all of the "I only want to have sex with people when I have an emotional connection with them!" thing makes me just tilt my head and go "... that's not that unusual?" Then again, it may just be that I've been seeing really shitty explanations of it, and that's why I can't quite wrap my head around it.

I think the idea is supposed to be that it's not only "want to have sex with someone unless there's an emotional bond" but "never get turned on or experience physical attraction unless there's an emotional bond".

I may not personally be interested in having sex with someone who I'm not in a relationship with, but that doesn't mean I stop having a libido when I'm single.

Re: Non-fandom confessions/unpopular opinions!

diet_poison - 2012-12-18 20:49 (UTC) - Expand

Yeah, and I really kinda relate to that too? The only person I've ever actively *wanted* to sleep with was my ex-boyfriend of over three years. And that kind of deep desire only comes for me when I get really close to someone. I mean I can look at a guy and go "man he's attractive" but that doesn't mean I want to fuck him? And I know there are a lot of different way of seeing this and I'm not necessarily in the majority here, but I also know it really isn't uncommon. So if that's what "demisexual" is supposed to mean I think it's just really dumb... (And I am definitely a "sexual" person)

But then again maybe it's not what it's supposed to mean *shrug*

Just out of curiosity, why exactly does asexuality weird you out? I mean if you befriended a person, became total bffs with them, then maybe in some offhand conversation where the subject came up they mention they're asexual, but they don't bother you about it and don't change in any way from the bff you knew, would it still weird you out?

I'm not weirded out by it, but I totally agree with you.

This girl I met who claimed to be aesexual just looked like a social reject who doesn't know how to blend in well with society. I may not be perfect or socially outgoing, but at least I know how to dress and act like a normal person. This high-school outcast "i'm so special" bullshit gets on my nerves.

but at least I know how to dress and act like a normal person.

This really shouldn't need to be pointed out, but not everybody does.

IA to a point. Mostly I just think they are claiming to be asexual cause it's the "cool" thing right now.

It doesn't weird me out though, I just don't believe the majority of people claiming that they are.

I don't automatically assume that people are lying if they say they're asexual, but I do think it's become trendy for the reason you said. There's too much virgin-shaming out there (and slut-shaming as well, of course, so you really can't win) and it makes sense to me that some people would go "yeah, well, I've never been with anyone because I don't WANT to." And in some cases there's sort of an air of superiority to it, like "most other people are controlled by their sexual desires and make dumb choices because of it, but I'm above all that." That part I don't like.

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