[ SECRET POST #2191 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2191 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 048 secrets from Secret Submission Post #313.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

14. http://i49.tinypic.com/35ait5f.jpg

WHY BE A FUCKING TEASE?

[fingalsanteater]

You're anon. Tell us your goddamned kink already. Why waste words specifying what it isn't and just tell us what it is. Especially since "fandom runs on kinks."

[nan]

What is your kiiiiiink, tell us anon, we need to know.

[(Anonymous)]

Is it beards? It's beards, isn't it.

[lunabee34]

I think it is.

I read this fic once where Gimli jerks Legolas off in his beard, and my first thought on reading this secret was totally beards.

[(Anonymous)]

da

Nonono, you're awfully mistaken. Beard on beard action, that's the hot stuff.

[lunabee34]

I can see that. They get all tangled together and the joy is unraveling them strand by strand. LOL

[(Anonymous)]

EEEWWWWWW I did not even know beard fetishes were a thing.

Anyway, why would s/he assume no would would write beard-fetish stuff for The Hobbit specifically? There are a lot of beards in that movie.

I mean, I wouldn't expect beard fetish fic because I didn't know beard fetishes existed, and I doubt it's common. But if someone was going to write it, it makes sense that they'd write it for a movie with a lot of bearded characters.

[(Anonymous)]

my brother and his equally-bearded friend once kissed under the mistletoe

I am informed that it is like Brillo pads mating

OP here

[(Anonymous)]

For the record, I have been called a tease in real life. And a bold hussy.

My kink is spanking*. I was a little ashamed because that's really not that rare. I just didn't expect it to fly with this fandom.

Thanks for proving me wrong, Fandom! XD

*Beards are ok too. Especially if I can pull them and if he nuzzles my neck.

Re: OP here

[lunabee34]

Oooooh, spanking. :)

Who in The Hobbit do you want to be spanked the most, OP, and who does the spanking?

*chinhands*

Now I have an indelible image of Galadriel spanking the shit out of Gandalf. That is hotter than it should be. Excuse me for a mo.

Re: OP here

[(Anonymous)]

Well, I like the idea of Thorin spanking either or both of his nephews. I also think Ori needs some attention because Adam Brown is just too adorable and he's the only dwarf wearing a cardigan and OMG enough with the slingshot already, Honey.

Bofur can spank me if he wants.

Re: OP here

[velvet_mace]

I want all the dwarves to spank Bilbo, while he squeals and squirms. For his own good, mind you. Toughen that nipper up.

Re: OP here

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP: But for me it is any of the dwarfs spanking Bilbo. It appeals to my sizekink as well.

Re: OP here

[elaminator]

I'd read that. Especially if it's Thorin because he seems the type.

Re: OP here

[(Anonymous)]

Ah, the British Vice.

[velvet_mace]

I must say I'm much more pleased with the crop of fic for the Hobbit than I was with the ones for the LOTRs.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm just happy for more than one hot, manly man. LoTR really only had Aragorn (elves are too feminine for my tastes). Hobbit has 3-7 depending on your preferences.

[velvet_mace]

Oh don't get me on elves. I kinda find them insufferable and about as unsexy as you can get. Sure they look pretty but pretty in that kind of untouchable stuffy sense that you get with the good crystal that no one ever uses.

[(Anonymous)]

Dude, seriously? Boromir and Faramir don't count?

[mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com]

Excuse me while I stare at that picture. My three favouritest dwarfs ever!

[(Anonymous)]

So, when I saw this movie I just thought wow, I really want a fic where Kili and Fili double teams Thorin. And then I remembered they were related, and fandom would rarely, if ever, approve of the manliest/oldest guy bottoming. Sigh.

/superduperdramaticsigh

[(Anonymous)]

My kink is size difference. So bless you LOTR and Hobbit. I freaking shipped humans with hobbits in LOTR and now there's delicious Thorin/Bilbo everywhere.
And btw: I'm a non-porny shipper so no, my kink isn't and never was about some bigger partner tearing the small one apart in bed :S

[(Anonymous)]

This thread is so win. And I mean that with non-trolly, absolute sincerity :).

[(Anonymous)]

I was just thinking the same. This fandom is awesome.