fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2244 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2244 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 121 secrets from Secret Submission Post #321.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Usually I don't do this but I'm not gonna sugar coat this one: You're still alone, boyfriend or no. Loneliness isn't not having anyone around you, it is being unhappy and unable to commiserate with someone who you can trust and who trusts you back. There are degrees to loneliness and the highest one, the worse one, is not being able to trust yourself and having to defer your self-esteem to an outside source.

Your boyfriend is a scumbag, and as long as you continue to enable him, the longer you'll continue to be alone because he's part of what's keeping you from getting out of this rut you are in. If you feel you're too ugly to find anyone else, then why do you believe that someone who can so easily treat someone else so callously deserve a girlfriend? Even if you don't think of it as you 'giving him something', you actually are giving him validation and, take it from me and every sensible person on earth, he doesn't deserve that.

I suppose because the world isn't kind or fair. Beggars can't be choosers, and even if he doesn't deserve a girlfriend, it's still better than the alternative-which is being utterly alone. I'd much rather be miserable sometimes and be told I'm loved once in a while (Even if it's isn't true) than to have to go back to how my life was before meeting him.

Being alone is honestly much better than being a bad relationship. I've lived alone nearly ten years now, and I love it! I can do what I want when I want, eat whatever I like, I don't have to fight for the remote. I've got an actual social life (limited, but so it goes) with actual friends. And people who are in unahppy relationships but who can't quite make the leap (for whatever reason, and goodness knows I stuck with a bad marriage far too long) look at me with such envy.
I will never pick up someone else's socks again.

I've never had a social life. I grew up in mostly motel rooms on the outskirts of town or battered women's shelters. I moved a lot because my father was a gambleholic. The few friends I've had were all males, as I never fit into any female cliques in the eighteen schools I attended. I work in customer service now and I talk to some co-workers, but the environment is very clique-ee, and I just don't fit into any of them. I'm only in contact with one of my childhood friends and we only talk every few months. When we were in HS he would purposely avoid being seen around me in public. I spent a lot of my childhood running away and hiding from kids/teens who wanted to physically harm me. My parents had their own issues and I've spent most of my life alone and by myself.

It really isn't an issue of live alone and go hang out with friends. I know my life could have been a lot worse, but I still don't want to go back to it.

Dump his ass and join some social organizations instead. Volunteer, join clubs, take group lessons, whatever. Just get out there and meet new people. He isn't worth it.

DA

I absolutely and 100% agree with you (and my path sounds similar to yours), but it doesn't sound to me like OP wants to hear any of it - it sounds to me like she may like the situation she's in and gets some value and self-worth out of it, so save your breath

[ SECRET POST #2244 ]

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