fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2267 ]

[ SECRET POST #2267 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2267 ⌋

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Has there ever been done any serious psychological research on asexuality? I don't doubt it exists, but it seems no one can agree on what it is. The wikipedia/AVEN articles just read like "PLEASE VALIDATE US, PLEASE!"
What is "sexual attraction"? Asexuals can have as much sex as sexuals, they just don't think their partner is hot? What?

It's genuine curiosity, not a troll.

I could probably pass for asexual myself, but I'm really just a nerd who will stay a virgin forever...

That kinda negative thinking is a bigger problem then whatever else you have going on.

Never doubt craigslists ability to get you laid kid. never.

Why do you assume it's negative? Maybe they're okay with being a virgin forever.

Re: Asexuality

insanenoodlyguy - 2013-03-19 01:47 (UTC) - Expand

There has not been a lot of study on it. When polls/surveys are done some 1% of the population say they have never felt sexual attraction.

However, some (many?) psychologists/doctors think that asexuality is a actual medical problem. Some people can have low sex drives but to be completely devoid of sexual feeling and desire, may be an actual problem with your brain/body.

Of course, there still needs to be a great deal of study on this. So who knows what will be determined in the future.

I remember seeing a study a while back about political conservatives' attitudes towards asexuality but damned if I can recall anything about the results.

The real question is: the fuck do you care?

Whether you get it or not, it's not like their sexual identity is harming you in any way. So...what the hell does it even matter?

My guess is anon likes to understand things, but they're kind of being a jerk about it.

Yeeeeeah. Saying, "Hey, this is a relatively understudied phenomenon that I'd like to know more about," would have been better than basically insinuating that it's ridiculous/not real just because they don't understand it/how it works :/ I'll never really understand exactly how airplanes work, but that doesn't mean they don't still work. Somebody somewhere gets it, and if they say it works, then it works, even if it boggles me when I think too much about it.

Kinsey classified people who weren't interested in sex as X way back in the day. As for actual research, there really isn't much beyond AVEN. Not a very profitable topic.

As for sexual attraction thing, there's some asexuals who don't have an active interest in sex but aren't opposed to it either. So they might have sex to make their partner happy.

SA

Adding to that. Some asexual says that their sex drive isn't attached to things. So some might masturbate to get rid of the need without masturbating to something in particular.

Oh, hello me. :|

Sexual attraction means being turned on by a person, as opposed to situations or fetishes.

da

So if I'm only turned on by a fetish, and have zero interest in actual sex, do I count as asexual? I've kind of been wondering about that lately.

I mean, obviously it's up to you how you identify, but I'd consider that to be asexuality. I'm in a similar boat; kinks do it for me, but 99.99% of people, not so much. So, yes.

aces don't feel sexual attraction. that's really the best definition you're going to get. some aces will have sex or do sexual things for reasons that are not "i am sexually attracted to this person", which can be said for a lot of people who aren't ace too.

What is "sexual attraction"? Asexuals can have as much sex as sexuals, they just don't think their partner is hot? What?

I have no freaking idea why these are such hard concepts for people.

Sex=body parts rubbing against each other. That's it. A penis rubs thrusts in and out of a vagina, rectum, etc.; hands fondle breasts, dicks, legs, arms, clitorises, etc. and so on. That is sex. You don't have to have sexual attraction to have sex.

Sexual attraction is wanting to fuck somebody. It's lust. Really. That's it. The basic idea. It's looking at someone and thinking I'd like to have their baby, they so cute! I'm sure someone's going to argue this, but it's the basic truth. You can have sexual attraction w/o having sex.

From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_attraction
"Sexual attraction is attraction on the basis of sexual desire or the quality of arousing such interest.[1][2] Sexual attractiveness or sex appeal refers to an individual's ability to attract the sexual or erotic interest of another person, and is a factor in sexual selection or mate choice. The attraction can be to the physical or other qualities or traits of a person, or to such qualities in the context in which they appear. The attraction may be to a person's looks or movements or to their voice or smell, besides other factors. The attraction may be enhanced by a person's adornments, clothing, perfume, hair length and style, and anything else which can attract the sexual interest of another person. It can also be influenced by individual genetic, psychological, or cultural factors, or to other, more amorphous qualities of the person. Sexual attraction is also a response to another person that depends on a combination of the person possessing the traits and also on the criteria of the person who is attracted."

Yes, you can have sex w/out experiencing sexual attraction or lust. The body parts still work, presumably (no impotence issues, etc.). You can want to make your partner happy by having sex w/them, if the thought of doing so doesn't repulse you. Some asexuals find the thought of sex repugnant so they don't do this. Some asexuals don't find the thought disgusting and/or it makes them happy to have sex w/their sexual partner even if the asexual has no desire to have sex. The body parts still work, after all. It's really not any different to making your partner happy by going to work function (art show, etc.) that you're indifferent to (you don't hate the work function or particularly want to go, you just don't care either way). I bake. I sometimes bake bread to make people happy even if I'm not feeling like baking bread that day. Making them happy makes me happy(ier).

Yes, some asexuals even *gasp* masturbate. You feel horny, you masturbate. Even sexuals do this when they're in a relationship. Asexuals just don't experience sexual desire towards someone. They may get horny; they may not get horny. Some asexuals, when they get horny, don't want anyone to touch them, so they masturbate. Some asexuals may want to have sex w/someone--i.e. have someone touch their genitals when they are horny. But they don't experience sex attraction. They don't look at someone and think, oooooohhhhhh, I want him/her to fuck me! They get horny and if, in a relationship, may want their partner to have sex w/them, but, and this is key, THE PARTNER THEMSELVES ISN'T WHAT IS CAUSING THE ASEXUAL TO GET HORNY; IT'S THE HORMONES IN THE ASEXUALS BODY.

Why is this so hard to understand???? It's not hard.

why would someone be in a relationship with someone who isn't sexually attracted to them and only has sex to "make them happy?" That sounds like the kind of relationship that can only be sustained by the non-ace partner having horrible self esteem. most people want to be wanted, not done favors out of pity or mere "hormones."

Because relationships are, generally, based on more than sex? And *gasp* some asexuals *do* enjoy sex, they just don't feel sexual attraction to anyone.

Some [sexual] people are okay with their partners being that, and 'I'm doing this to make you happy' isn't pity - unless everything someone does for their partner to make them happy is, somehow, pity now.

NAYTR

Why would an ace person have a relationship with a non-ace person? It's not like they would want to be with them or anything, right?

No way! Nobody is in a relationship just because they like the person! That's just absurd!

Maybe they're closeted and going through the motions, making the nonace person feel like they're wanted when they're not, pretending to be sexually attracted to them.

But I mean that's totally cool if you're in a disadvantaged group you can totally do horrible shit to other people

Re: Asexuality

(Anonymous) - 2013-03-19 04:02 (UTC) - Expand

...because maybe they just like the person a whole lot? You can want to be with somebody and want to spend your life with them without wanting to bang them, and some people are cool with that.

Sex and sexual attraction are not actually inherently necessary to an emotionally intimate relationship. Making sure both parties have their sexual needs and desires fulfilled goes a long way into making the relationship work and last, but those "needs and desires" can amount to, "not having sex that much/at all."

--different anon in a sexual relationship and still understands asexual relationships

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