[ SECRET POST #2273 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2273 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 117 secrets from Secret Submission Post #325.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ], [ 1 2 3 - trolls ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

10. http://i40.tinypic.com/2v9c4zn.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

trying to be a good person is difficult and unrewarding. why do you think so few try to do it? it's much easier to relax in ignorance or find reasons to justify all your actions.

[kaijinscendre]

...what?

[chardmonster]

Ssssh. Let them feel like they're a hero for achieving basic human decency.

[(Anonymous)]

lol i said trying to be a good person, not achieving sainthood. that nobody will thank you for being a decent person is merely truth. nothing about expecting anything in there, except that it naturally will be harder than not caring at all

[chardmonster]

why do you think so few try to do it?

Listen. You mean well, but you are not special for trying to be a good person. As you grow older you'll find that the vast majority of people in the world are trying to be good people. Many simply fail miserably.

[(Anonymous)]

replace try with succeed, then. there ya go

i never said i was special, or that i succeeded in this myself. no need to assume things and lecture down to me

[chardmonster]

You implied that by your language, which is all any of us here have to go upon.

[kaijinscendre]

You will also learn that the occasional stupid comment (or God forbid thought) does not automatically make someone a bigoted asshole.

[(Anonymous)]

Can we not use snide remarks insinuating things about others to talk about basic human decency? I mean come on.

I think basic human decency is something that should be approved of. What is the use in putting that level down? If everyone achieved basic human decency the world would be a much finer place.

[kaijinscendre]

There is a hell of a difference between being a 'decent human' and whatever the hell Tumblr "social justice" is.

[(Anonymous)]

What the OP mentioned in the secret is not being racist/sexist/ableist/homophobic. I think all those count.

You hate tumblr SJW... ok, that's cool. I don't think OP was talking only about that tho.

[chardmonster]

Approval isn't the same as praise, though.

When I was a kid I got approval for looking both ways when I crossed the street. This is very good kid safety practice. However, my parents were not all "CHARDMONSTER! YOU SUCCESSFULLY AVOIDED GETTING HIT BY A BUS! GOLD STAR!" all the time. I only got that the first couple times.

The same with basic human decency. I'm not going to praise someone for not being mean to those around them. I'm not going to praise someone for not hating. Not unless they're a child or childlike and just figured this out.

Giving out gold stars for being decent is patronizing.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree with that. I also think that if the person in question is coming out of something like being homophobic, racist, or sexist... they are that child that needs reinforcement, because that's where they are.

You might not think they deserve it for being "only decent" but if they're coming from a place worse than that, their improvements being recognized by someone else is good added incentive for them to want to stay there.

[(Anonymous)]

The "basic" is kinda the keyword, though. Quoth DC Simpson: there's a reason people seldom say "Boy, Bob is a wonderful human being! Today he was really mad about something but he didn't beat anyone to death with a hammer!"

[(Anonymous)]

See above response to chardmonster.

[(Anonymous)]

op says fandom is more stressful now because they are watching what they're saying? yea, it's harder to watch yourself and try not to be an ass to others than to not watch because it takes effort and nobody will thank you for it. dont see how this was hard to understand

[scarletsymphony]

You get an A+ for empathy.

[(Anonymous)]

lol what

Most people are good people. There's no trying about it. But they are people and they're not going to care 24/7. Sometimes people just need a break or are doing something else or have different priorities or just trying to manage their life etc etc

it's not black and white, most people are on a spectrum of shades depending on the day and their moods and how much you're heckling them over stuff

[chardmonster]

It's good to not be a horrible hateful person, but there's a kind of disturbing subtext to your secret. It's very "Anti-thoughtcrime doubleplus good."

Thanks tumblr.

[illiadandoddity]

I remember this secret from a while back, but I think it's still relevant. If it helps, OP and/or reposter, I feel much the same way. Life is more stressful when you become aware of just how many things are offensive and how easy it is to hurt someone with your words.

[(Anonymous)]

There's a line. It's good to be conscious of what you're saying and how people will react to that. But if you're especially stressed that you're wording everything correctly so nobody will be offended, there's an issue.

[intrigueing]

Or you can step back, realize how ridiculous and self-aggrandizing and deluding it is to pretend to be waging some grand glorious Les Miserables-esque campaign of social justice and moral righteousness and fighting for the dignity of the human spirit in online circles of people who are trying to have fun talking about TV shows they like.

And, then, instead of getting stressed out and sapping all your energy and enthusiasm by maintaining some preposterous fantasy facade of self-importance by telling yourself you need to show CONSTANT VIGILANCE to protect the sanctity of the internet by scouring it for dickbags and making sure not a single offensive statement slips by without being subjected to your personal condemnation, remind yourself it's not your job to change idiots' minds in a social sphere as lightweight and unserious as fandom, and nothing bad that could have been prevented will happen if you let them go on being idiots without getting the last word in.

You don't have to go "lol, nothing matters, who gives a crap", but it'll be easier on you and just as effective to limit your social justice activities to shutting down disruptive assholes who are ruining other people's fun with behavior that can't just be ignored, and making critical posts on your own journal/comms for the purpose of catharsis, commiseration, education, and to warn people about the kinds of awfulness they might stumble across, and otherwise just ignore the morons instead.

Just, you know, a thought.

[insanenoodlyguy]

Actually, I'd reccomend "lol, nothing matters, who gives a crap." in some situations. It can be very liberating to pair it down to "is this lulz" and nothing else. You'll be able to laugh at a lot more because quite frankly, sometimes a problematic joke is still funny.

[(Anonymous)]

Late but...

The way I see it, there's a difference between enjoying something and turning your brain off while enjoying it, and not actually caring about social issues. For example, personally? I try to keep up with what's going on with social issues and I *do* care about them, and actively try to do what's right in my day to day life. However, fandom is a place where I tend to relax a bit about it* so I don't watch every little thing I say with 'Will this offend someone?' mindset.

And there's nothing wrong with that, or with missing when you didn't do that - and there's nothing wrong with that, as long as you're willing to say 'Sorry, I didn't realize it was offensive. I won't do it again.' ... Besides, everyone is hipocrits about something anyways.

tl;dr: It might be hypocritical, but sometimes you need to relax a bit from constant worry and stress. Fandom tends to be good for that

*I'm not saying I start spewing offensive terms or anything, but I'm not going to completely stress out over the idea of accidentally saying something wrong.