fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2306 ]

[ SECRET POST #2306 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2306 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

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03.

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04.

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05.

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06. http://i.imgur.com/oVNCgcT.png
[kind of porny, illustrated, Hetalia]

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07.

[Pokemon]

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08.

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

09. [SPOILERS for Kingdom Hearts]

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10. [SPOILERS for Spartacus]
http://i.imgur.com/OtBhrXi.png
[gore? kind of, i think, live-action]

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11. [SPOILERS for Game of Thrones]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

12. [WARNING for rape]

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13. [WARNING for child abuse]

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14. [WARNING for loli/shota]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #329.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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So secret 2 and some other stuff got me thinking and mostly about America though anyone is free to answer me.

Do you guys get discriminated against daily based on your gender? When it comes to normal things, like shopping and so on?

Because honestly I can't really remember a time where my gender have played a ~~negative~~ role in my day to day life.

~~I am not talking about rape culture, wage gaps or anything like that, I know about those things and off course they affect me.~~

I like to think so for online trolling purposes but reality : No.

Not that I notice, although I'm sure I'd see more of it if I was on the lookout.

But even when it does affect me AND I do notice, it's rarely upsetting, it's just "yeah, that" and you don't get angry about it unless you're sitting somewhere thinking back and dwelling on it and analyzing it, because tbqh, I usually have shit to do that's more important at the moment.

I don't know?

I do know I refuse to shop at my local Best Buy because the people who work there are sexist, repeatedly, to me and all my friends on multiple occasions. It just became plain incompetence after a while depending on what we were there for.

Edited 2013-04-27 01:06 (UTC)

Woah? Why would your local store treat you like that? Don't they want customers?

I can see why you don't shop there though!

Re: Discrimination against Women:

forgottenjester - 2013-04-27 17:19 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Discrimination against Women:

making_excuses - 2013-04-27 17:29 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Discrimination against Women:

forgottenjester - 2013-04-27 18:07 (UTC) - Expand

It happens.

"She's a chick. Of course she doesn't make any sense." (man to another man, about me)
"You're girls. Girls don't like Star Wars."

Cashiers being startled when I pay. Men trying to hit on me even after I blew them off "because I don't have a ring on my finger", so I'm fair game and my opinion doesn't matter.

Happened to friends and acquaintances:
- about a pregnant engineer, from her boss, to their customers, behind her back: "she had the gall to go and get herself pregnant, what a bitch, I'll make her life hell for that."
- to a trainee turned future employee, from her boss: "ok, I'm hiring you, but don't get pregnant!"

(Europe)

Re: Discrimination against Women:

(Anonymous) - 2013-04-27 00:59 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Discrimination against Women:

(Anonymous) - 2013-04-27 01:18 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Discrimination against Women:

elaminator - 2013-04-27 01:19 (UTC) - Expand

When I was a little girl, my mother told me I could be anything I wanted to be with two exceptions. I could not be a Priest or a Daddy. Those were the only two jobs reserved for men.

I've kept that lesson in mind and I think it's shaped my outlook on my gender and my ability to do what I want to do. The majority of my jobs have been in male dominated fields and I'm rarely victimized because of my gender.

Re: Discrimination against Women:

(Anonymous) - 2013-04-27 01:08 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Discrimination against Women:

iceyred - 2013-04-27 01:24 (UTC) - Expand

I don't know if you'd call it discrimination but I definitely get treated differently. It took me awhile to notice, and it wasn't until I was out with some male friends that it really stood out but generally men treat me like a child or like I'm stupid. They explain things in very simple terms with a different pitch and tone to their voice than they do to men.

There's a lot of sexist humor that I'm supposed to just ignore. Just little things that add up during the day that I can't even think about.

Because honestly I can't really remember a time where my gender have played a negative role in my day to day life.

Same here. I can't help but feel extremely fortunate about that.

Re: Discrimination against Women:

making_excuses - 2013-04-27 12:31 (UTC) - Expand

Do you think that's because it honestly has had zero role or because it's so ingrained and expected that you just don't notice it?

I work in the gaming industry. Recently a friend that had worked at a past company with me posted something about how there's been a lot of articles lately about sexism in the industry and how she counts herself fortunate to have never had to deal with it. I know for a fact she has had to deal with sexism - not anything extreme like some of the articles that are out there, but sexism just the same. We've both rolled our eyes at sexist jokes or ridiculous characters that are pushed for sex appeal - but it's little things that are just so normal in our atmosphere that I think she honestly doesn't notice it anymore.

Re: Discrimination against Women:

(Anonymous) - 2013-04-27 10:27 (UTC) - Expand

People tend to assume I don't know my way around tech stuff, and to be surprised when it turns out I do. Several times I've had guys try to do things for me rather than answer my questions on, say, a computer issue.

Re: Discrimination against Women:

making_excuses - 2013-04-27 12:29 (UTC) - Expand

It does happen, thought not really on a daily basis from what I've noticed. Mostly it's stupid comments like 'Well, girls are just overly dramatic/emotional' or 'Of course girls...'

Otherwise it's stuff that's like 'Girls can't do X, Y, or Z because they aren't A/B/C as guys are', and sometimes clerks will assume you're shopping for an SO, or that you were looking for help in a different department based on your gender which is always fun.

Re: Discrimination against Women:

making_excuses - 2013-04-27 12:34 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Discrimination against Women:

(Anonymous) - 2013-04-27 17:28 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Discrimination against Women:

making_excuses - 2013-04-27 17:35 (UTC) - Expand

I'm not a woman, but I'm trans and this was someone who thought I was a woman:

I was helping out the IT department of a college as a favor to someone I know - and one of the student employees assumed I didn't know anything about computers. He literally tried to explain to me how to shut down a computer, and was shocked that I knew how to remove a hard drive. I can't help but think he'd have reacted differently if he'd thought I was a guy.

Re: Discrimination against Women:

making_excuses - 2013-04-27 12:36 (UTC) - Expand

I wouldn't say on a daily basis, no, but that is mostly because I don't interact with a wide variety of people every day. The people I work with are cool, I'm not in customer service, and my friends wouldn't be my friends if they were sexist. I think if I had a different job or otherwise had to interact with a lot of random people, it would happen more often.

That said, small, irritating acts of sexism do crop up a lot, and they can be particularly insidious because over time they can be very emotionally wearing and yet are easily dismissed on an individual basis, making it easy for everyone to believe no one did anything wrong. For example, I was once in a temporary position of authority and the guy who was the authority over all of us told the people (all male) I had authority over to do what I said "just like at home" (i.e. "just like you do what your nagging wife tells you"). I was being elevated to a superior position, but was simultaneously undermined by the implication that anything I did or said was akin to henpecking and I wasn't entitled any real respect as long as everyone paid lip service to the idea that I was in charge. It's the kind of thing that would be dismissed as "just a joke" if anyone called the guy out on it, but had real implications for how everyone in that situation saw me and served as a disheartening reminder of how some men view women: as people to be put up with and maneuvered around rather than as real compatriots.

People [or, more specifically, men] feeling that they have to explain things to me. Never mind I usually grasped it the first time/it's in my field/etc, or just in general insisting that I must be wrong and dismissing what I'm saying when there's a disagreement over facts [and yes, one where they would at least take another guy more seriously.]

I'm a history student at a school with a male-heavy population, and when it comes time to pick research topics, every single professor assumes I'm going to want the ones about women's history.

I have NO interest in women's history. ~~Not to mention that I'm genderqueer so being continually identified as The Woman Historian pisses me off that much more...~~

Not routinely, as far as I know (but I acknowledge that it could be happening in ways that I don't realize have to do with my gender). The most common form of it is older men in the workplace talking down to me like... eh, let's say like I'm ten and they're my favorite uncle. "Come on, smile!" and comments like that.

But a lot of things I hear other women go through daily have only happened to me once or twice at most. I ride the subway every day without worrying about harrassment, when I go to game stores I'm always treated like a normal customer, etc. All the things I hear about what life is like for women make me wonder if my life is really charmed or I'm just really oblivious.

Eh... a few times certainly, in geek circles, I've had a few guys be dicks.

Also, my dad was a misogynist asshat in a lot of ways who told me shit like "Starship Troopers is unrealistic, everyone knows girls can't do math" after we watched it, and "no one wants a woman over 30" while my fucking mother was in the room.

But then... he pulled a different variety of bullshit with my brothers. My younger brother was really pumped for a competition and just barely got edge out to take second place, and shed a few tears... My dad literally dragged him into the men's change rooms and SCREAMED at him for being a "pussy" (all of the other swimmers and parents could hear it).

Also, I had a physics teacher in high school who was blatantly favouring the boys because, as he said, "girls don't grow up to be engineers". He'd ignore us in class, mark us harder, wouldn't help us outside of class, etc.... The school wouldn't do anything about it because there was "no proof" and he was only a few years away from retirement. The hilarious thing is that the only person in our class who went on to be an engineer was a girl.

As a grownup, it's mostly dating bullshit now. The whole who pays awkwardness fiasco. But that's awkward for everyone. When I say "I want to split the bill" I really fucking mean it, it's not a test of your masculinity. If I say I want to pay I mean that too, it's seriously not a test either. And usually it means I like you, not the other way around. But Jesus fuck, I realize that's not their fault - that's our entire culture telling them to be "gentlemen" and that men pay, women put out.

Most of the time, it's little things that add up.

Some of my friends are nerdy gamer dudes who make a ton of sexist jokes, where the "joke" is basically "It's funny because the woman did the thing and all women are like that, amirite? LOL WOMEN."
I don't bother calling them out because it takes too much energy to do that all the time; and I'll just be dismissed as not having a sense of humour, a feminazi, etc.

People not taking me seriously, because I'm both short and female, so I look cute. So they treat me like a child: talk down to me, simplify things, assume I don't understand things. (ESPECIALLY when it's anything to do with maths, computers, or cars.)

My parents also constantly assume I'm going to get married and have kids. It's always "WHEN you have kids..." A lot of sexism comes from older guys. I was helping wash up at church the other day, and this old guy says, apropos of nothing, "You'll make a good housewife someday!"

Yes, because I don't have any dreams or goals or causes beyond that. No, I don't really want to write novels, or graduate from uni, or travel the world, or publish research, or fight for a cause - you're right, what I TRULY want, deep down, is to make babies. Because I'm a woman and biology/religion says so.

Most days it makes me feel stupid and weak and just kinda tired, but I'm so used to it I don't consciously notice it anymore.

Nope. (Female, American)

Not really daily. It's more random things that happen from time to time, like skeevy guys cat calling me while I'm walking down the street. Actually street harassment is the main one that sticks out the most. A lot of the other things, like offhand comments and what not, are easier to brush off.

DUDE. I just asked this in the "OMG, I don't wanna RP as a GIRL, because OPPRESSION!!" thread

My feeling is that there's an institutionalized oppression against women regarding pay, abortion and the like, but barring people who are actually pregnant and don't want to be, who want food and can't afford food because of their 76 cents on the dollar, and other issues, the day-to-day isn't necessarily as stifling as some would make it seem.

Because it's not like I wake up every day and some man comes and punches me in the vagina, calls me names and steals my money. If it IS like that for the 99.9999 percent of women, somebody please let me know.

I guess? It's more like society's hangup that women should shave their eyebrows & legs, and generally are held to higher standards of dress and hygiene than men. IIRC I've never actually had anyone say anything sexist to me or wolf-whistle or make inappropriate comments.

It's subtle, not in-your-face, and mainly rears its ugly head in the workplace, since that's where I butt heads with men the most. Count yourself lucky if you've never had to experience it; there's nothing more frustrating than having to deal with sexist bullshit on top of trying to do your high-stress job.

In day-to-day life, it's mostly the little things that people upthread have mentioned: paying, public sexual harassment, etc. Not debilitating but annoying nonetheless.

At this point in my life I usually don't get anything weirder than gross catcalls or sexist Facebook statuses. But if you're doing some really gendered activity, like online dating, goddamn does the sexism (and racism!) come out.

And this may be closer to general rape culture and not an example you're looking for (also maybe TMI), but I was just thinking about trying to find a nude beach this summer so I could avoid tanlines. I'd rather go by myself, but I'll probably try and bring my boyfriend along, at least the first time, so I can safely gauge the creep-level of the place.

So it's not a big blow or anything, but fear of sexism has changed the way I've decided to approach a situation not two hours ago.

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