fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2365 ]

[ SECRET POST #2365 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2365 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Community/Mad Men]

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[Antoine Becks]

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[Arrested Development]

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[Naruto]

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[Miyavi]

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[Breaking Bad]

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[Nardwuar the Human Serviette]

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[Spartacus]

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[Bridal Mask]

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[Malcolm In The Middle/Breaking Bad]

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[Pillars of the Earth]

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[The Kills]

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[Sarah and Brendon Urie]

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[Hannibal]

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[Hannibal]

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[Ashlee Simpson]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 078 secrets from Secret Submission Post #337.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I feel really guilty hogging the first comment for this, but I'm really not ok and I needed to confess this to someone. So I... I had been waiting for the post to come up, TBH.

It's been six weeks since I started taking half the dosage I'm supposed to take, and two since I stopped completely. I wanted to be better on my own. I was tired of all the things having to take meds restricted me. And I was feeling so fine! Way better than I had in years. So I thought, maybe I'm healthy enough now. Maybe it will be enough treatment with the psychotherapy and I don't need the chemicals anymore. The dose I'm supposed to be on is quite low anyway.

But I'm feeling like absolute crap today and. I don't want to start taking them again. I really want to believe this is just a low day. But I've been feeling terribly depresed since the weekend. To make matters worse, I got mugged, and now I'm scared to go outside again. For someone who needed +3 years to get over her agoraphobia, not being able to go out again is kind of a big deal.

I don't know if it's just withdrawal, or if I really fucked up something and should go back to them immediately. I... I don't want to. I know some people need them to function, and that's super ok! I just don't want to be one of them. Never wanted to.

Sorry for the TL;DR... I needed to get that out of my chest. I'm sorry.

Take your meds, call the cops and talk to your doctor about wanting off your meds.

Edited 2013-06-24 23:24 (UTC)

This, because it takes time and oversight to slow down from/stop taking meds. Not saying it can't happen, but it should probably happen with a plan.

Please, take your meds. If this was any other illness and you stopped taking your medication, saying, "I'm fine on my own," everyone would be telling you to go back on. Imagine if you had a heart condition and you stopped taking your medication saying, "It'll go away on its own." No. That's not how it works. There's nothing wrong with taking medication. Nothing. It's there to help you. Take it. Or talk to your doctor to try something else, if you think that you need something different.

Actually, everyone in my environment things I should man the fuck up and stop taking the meds. My family resents them. They hate paying for them (and believe me, they're expensive as fuck). My mother specially has spent the past three years trying to convince me to switch to ~the magic of Bach Flowers~ as if they were something else than dilluted pollen.

The people in your life are uneducated fools and your mom is a hack loony. Not that you become financially independent wouldn't be great... but how well do you think you are going to do that when you are mentally all messed up?

Well, your family is stupid, and what's worse is that they care more about their finances than about your well-being.

Mental illness is no different from any other. Shame on them for their ignorance.

Your family might think they mean well, but that's some seriously stupid advice from people who don't understand that mental health issues can't be cured with homeopathic remedies because homeopathic remedies are unscientific nonsense.

There's nothing weak or unmanly about needing medication for a health condition. That's like telling a diabetic they should "man the fuck up" and start producing more insulin on their own without relying on wussy medication. It's like telling someone with cancer that they should "man the fuck up" and shrink their own tumors with the power of wishful thinking.

It's 100% bullshit, and I'm very sorry your family isn't giving you the support you need and deserve.

You... are an idiot. I'm going to guess you did this all on your own. This story is OLD AS MEDICATION. You are feeling great! You don't need the pills! So you stop taking the pills! You'll be fine!

THAT IS NOT HOW THE MEDICATION WORKS. THAT IS NOT EVER HOW IT WORKED.

Unless you clarify you talked to your doctor about this, and I'll give good stock you didn't, STOP MAKING THESE DECISIONS ON YOUR OWN.

In fact, go talk to him again BEFORE you get back on it. You had a lapse. that's fine. But realize your body can change in response to this sort of shit. Hope the low dose you were on before will still even work. DO NOT DO THIS ON YOUR OWN AGAIN. EVEN IF EVERYTHING IS GREAT. CONSULT, CONSULT, CON-FUCKING SULT!

I'm sorry. I will. I really don't want to, but I'll do what you say.

I can see above, you've internalized a lot of what has been said to you. You see the medications necessity as a personal failing. As a flaw not of chemical imbalance, but some personality or mental fortitude defect.

Generally, you don't "tough out" chemical depression. You might learn to live with it, but when you have an alternative life where everything sucks a whole lot less, it doesn't lessen you to take that option. The fact that some can't understand that shouldn't mean you should by into it just cause more people said it.

You need to remember two key things here: First, these medications ARE LONG TERM. They take a long time to build up, they take a long time to get out of your system. So when you are feeling great, sure, if you miss a pill once or twice, that probably will be fine. The problem is thinking that means you are suddenly okay.

We don't tend to think long term about things, as humans. We tend to work well with every action having an immediate or at least imminent reaction. So it's easy to think that in that week you stop taking the meds you are doing find and will be doing fine.

But you are seeing now that when the meds do get out of your system 6-8 weeks later... well.

If you are sure you should be off the meds, DO NOT DO IT ON YOUR OWN. Talk about a slow tapering process. Not just your own "half strength then nothing". And remember IT WILL BE A WHILE BEFORE YOU SEE THE FULL EFFECTS OF THE CHANGE. Same for going back on the meds.

But know your body can sometimes react hard to. you changed the chemical composition in your brain. Sometimes your body ends up overbalancing this sort of thing, and making the thing you were taking the meds to stop worse then ever. There are really, really important reasons not to do this sort of thing on your own, or with the advice of people that have no medical knowledge themselves. It's true that say, optimizing your nutrition to your body can have positive effects, but who needs what tends to differ from person to person as much as medications do so I wouldn't rely on anything holistic as a miracle cure (though it doesn't sound like you are taking your mom's advice seriously, just thought I'd say that).

You fucked up. Not letting you off there. I'm not the gentle guy. I speak from a personal place though, I've fucked up with meds before (i'm off them now, but that took a lonngggg time and I did it carefully and slowly the last time around). So I know something about all of this.

The key to remember though, is what is and isn't your fault. Quitting your meds like a dope? Your fault. Needing the meds in the first place? Nothing to feel bad about.

What's done is done. You don't need to feel bad about this as much as you need to learn from this. If and when you do drop the meds, DROP THEM RIGHT.

Taking your pills right now doesn't mean you can't function without them. It just means you're not ready to function without them right now. I totally get not wanting to need the medicine and wanting to get better on your own, but you have to find a way between what you want to do and what you need to do to function. You didn't fuck up. It's going to be okay. It's just that it might take some more time and some more work, and that sucks, but it seems like you're not okay now and you should probably listen to yourself telling yourself that.

Like the other person said, talk to your doctor, start taking your meds again just for right now. That's probably the best thing to do, just in this moment. It doesn't mean you need to rely on them forever. Good luck, OP.

Talk to your therapist and/or doctor and let them know that you've stopped taking your meds, how you are now feeling, and what you'd like to aim for. If it's possible - and for some it's not - they will know how to help you achieve a med-free life. But you can't do this on your own. You need help and that's okay.

Try not to stress too much about the bad days and not getting out of the house. Don't be fatalistic about it and remember that this too shall pass. It's just a bad couple of days. It'll be okay.

Prepare yourself for jerky replies about people yelling at you to take your meds and calling you names for going off them in the first place. It's rude but it's people's go-to response in these situations. Try not to take it too hard.

Depending on your situation it can be a completely do-able to be med free. But you need to make it a smart decision which means discussing it with your therapist and your doctors, not just going off on your own. You need to be honest and open with with your doctors if you want this to work. Good luck!

Thank you. I'm kind of on the verge of tears here. I know people are well-meaning, but they're being really forceful and that's not...

I wish they tried to understand why I would want to go med-free on the first place. And I still think I would be able to do it. But yeah, I'll discuss it with my psychiatrist. It's a pity she's been on sick leave the past two months, making me jump hoops from doctor to doctor.

I'm pretty sure we all get it, but understanding the impulse doesn't change the fact that this was a foolish decision that I hope you can correct pronto. Listen to noodles on this, because he's pretty much said it best of everyone.

Re: OP

insanenoodlyguy - 2013-06-25 00:09 (UTC) - Expand

SA

I've been where you are. I went off my meds, it went okay for awhile and then it didn't. A lot of people yelled at me about how stupid it was to go off them in the first place, which let me tell you people yelling at you and calling you stupid really helps a bunch when you're feeling worthless, depressed, and anxiety. /sarcasm

But these days I'm medication free. It's taken a lot of work and yeah I still have bad days, but I've worked on acknowledging them and how to handle it without medication. It took open communication with my doctor, my family, and my therapist and honestly was a lot more work to get here than simply taking the meds would have been. But I didn't want to be on medication.

That being said, there are some issues and some people that simply can't be taken care of without the aid of medication and there is absolutely no shame in that. It's just the way your body is wired. But if it's something you really want it's worth a try.

I think people understand why you would want to be medicine-free, I think they're just worried about you and whether or not you'll be okay, and they want to make sure that you are okay and that you actually take steps towards making that happen.

I really do hope things work out for you and I think they will work out for you. Don't let the pressure get to you too much - the important thing isn't what you've done, it's making the choices to get to where you need to be, if you follow. But you do need to do that.

Look, OP, I've not had experience with meds before, except for antibiotics.

But I screwed up recently because I *didn't ask advice* - like, anyone's advice - I just struck out on my own and made a rash decision. I know nothing about anti-depressants, but you may not want to risk 'em messing with your mind even more - remember, these are chemicals designed to alter your mind and your mental state.

I also don't think that, as well-intentioned as your family may be, pressuring you aggressively to get off the meds and making you feel weak for taking them is helping. I also think that people on here *do* understand why you'd want to quit, but they're telling you to consult rather than going away and trying to act alone. By all means get off the meds if you'd like to - that's a totally legitimate decision, yeah? And it's your decision. No one should *have* to be consigned to medicine for life. But ask your usual doctor, because she might see something that you didn't see. She might well know a different, safer strategy that'll be better for your health in the long term. Best of luck, OP! <3 Hang in there!

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2013-06-25 03:53 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2013-06-25 12:10 (UTC) - Expand

Here's the thing: the reason you felt so great is because the medication was working.

It's never a good idea to just stop taking meds. Consider a course of antibiotics: people usually feel better before they're done taking them. But what happens if they don't complete the course? They get sick again, or they contribute to the development of antibiotic-resistant infection. The next time they come down with the same ailment, the antibiotics might not work as well -- or at all.

Unless your doctor advises you to go off your meds, you should not. There's no shame in being on them, regardless what our ignorant society would have you believe, and not being able to "do it on your own" in this case is no different than not being able to "do it on your own" when you have a particularly virulent case of the flu. Sometimes, we need help to overcome what ails us. And that's okay. But it can be very, very dangerous to not take advantage of that help when we need it.

Please, go back on your meds, and schedule an appointment with your doc ASAP.

If you want to alter your medication regime or modify your treatment approach, do so with your doctor's advice and supervision. You were on the medication for a reason. It was helping you. Trying to change your treatment strategy to focus on therapy instead of pharmaceuticals might work for you (and it might not; different people respond differently to treatments), but making that change without your doctor's knowledge and help is a terrible idea. Please contact your doctor as soon as possible.

Take your meds. I've stopped taking them twice. The first time I hit rock bottom, didn't come out of my room at all, and failed an entire semester of college. The second time I tried to kill myself.

Basically, meds are good. Meds help. It isn't wrong or shameful or weak to need to take them. mental illness is a real illness. It doesn't make you weak to be sick any more than you are weak because you catch a flu.

You're having a low day. And that's normal. I quit taking my meds for depression and ADHD 12 years ago. I've had plenty of ups and downs, and I won't tell you it's an easy road to change the way that your head works. It's an absolute struggle, but if you feel like you can dedicate yourself to fight through the low times, then you will be okay.

It's alright.

You should probably look into alternative ways to use as outlets, and plan ways to deal with your emotions if you have days like this. Analyze it, don't judge it. Ask yourself how you are feeling and why? Then ask yourself what you can logically do about it. Ignore the illogical thoughts. They will pass.

I have had years where I felt like I was dealing fine, but then months that were awful. Lately I've been looking into behavior therapy and practicing ways of thinking differently. It comes slowly but it works its way into at least changing how you deal with your bad moments, even if it doesn't prevent them from happening.

*hugs if you want them*

The reason you felt so good before you went off your meds was because they were working. I'm so sorry that you got mugged; that must've been terrible. I would talk to your doctor both about the medication you're on as well as the mugging. <3

That really shits about being mugged, OP. That would fuck anybody up, mental illness or no.

I totally get what it feels like to wish you weren't dependent on meds. I personally fucking hate it when I'm feeling low, but when I'm feeling alright (which is WAY more than it used to be, now that I'm on meds) I understand that it's really no different from putting a cast on a broken bone. It's a medical procedure for a real, medical, physiological problem. There is no shame in being on meds at all.

I'd like to go off mine one day too, but it will be when my life is less transient than it is right now (still in college, no idea what I'm going to do to support myself, etc.).

As many have said - you need to talk to a doctor. Take the meds until you can figure out, with the help of a professional(s), how to go off them safely, and be aware that it might not work.

And please, please, I know this is really hard, but realize that your family is NOT right about this. The whole "just snap out of it!!!" attitude is a giant crock of shit. It would be really, really hard to have people around you telling you that constantly, and I empathize with you. Your mom saying she'd rather not help you get better for monetary reasons sounds destructive. I don't know your situation, exactly, so I won't judge, but it just does not sound like they are approaching this in a healthy way at all.

Many of us here have experienced mental illness. There is no shame. I struggled with that for a long time. I resisted trying meds because I wanted to be "above" that. I'm glad I've learned better. It doesn't make you any less or worse...it's just another thing to take care of with the doctor, and go on about your life.

Best of luck, OP. Keep us posted.

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