fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2450 ]

[ SECRET POST #2450 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2450 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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sounds a lot more like OP is making excuses, tbh. Hiding away from the world to "heal" and avoiding real life responsibilities is NEVER a recommended treatment for the mentally ill - and I say this as someone who works in the mental health field. Having a mental illness or disability doesn't make you fragile and incapable, and hospitalization is NOT a "getaway" or resort, and they won't even admit you unless they have reason to believe that you pose a serious threat to yourself or others.

It reads to me that OP does not have the resources to get the help they need at present. That's a very different thing.

yeah, i know, and i wouldn't be surprised either. but anybody who is seriously considering institutionalising themselves probably isn't just being dramatic, and i'd rather not take that risk. like i'd rather seem unnecessarily sympathetic than try to take the tough love route and mess up.

i didn't mean healing in the sense that op should avoid responsibility. being institutionalised is not at all a joke or something to take lightly; maybe op just doesn't realise this. it's not a place to go to avoid responsibility - quite the opposite really, at least in my experience. it's about getting well. outside negativity will await you once you leave the facility; learning to cope and eliminate internal sources is the most such treatment can so, at least in my opinion. i hope op is aware of this and is only considering hospitalisation out of perceived necessity.

but being placed in a facility can help people start taking baby steps towards coping. if op needs that - if they're aware that institutionalisation can't change their surroundings - then i think they should continue to consider it.

anyway sorry if i gave the wrong impression from my first response but i definitely agree with you. and to add to that, sometimes being placed in a facility doesn't end up helping at all. didn't help me (but it was involuntary on my end so there's that). it's not a magic cure, it doesn't help everybody and it's definitely not to be used as a way to avoid problems or responsibility.

ayrt

Nooo, I'm sorry, that response was more directed at OP than you, didn't mean to come across snappy at all. It's just, besides the fact that OP, with almost 99.9% certainty doesn't need hospitalization, in my professional experience, hospitalization is rarely a great option, it's just sometimes the necessary option. It's a last resort to keep everyone safe, but it rarely helps them move forward and learn how to live in the real world, which it sounds like OP needs - to learn how to live in the real world.

it's ok, i understand where you're coming from. i've seen a lot of people try to shirk responsibility in this way and it just seems really pointless to me because inpatient facilities - facility depending obviously - are no walk in the park, and when you get out you're still gonna be faced with the things that were plaguing you before, so unless you go there to find a way to cope then your time spent there isn't going to be all that helpful in the long run.

but yeah it def depends on the facility too. mine was focused on "rehabilitation" but it sucked ass at it. other wards don't really go that in-depth and cover what you mentioned, and maybe that's what op was looking for but ... idk i can't really comment on that, i'm guessing you have more experience there. it doesn't sound like those kind of facilities would be much help to op either though. guess it just depends what they're looking for.

I hope you got the help that you needed. :( Must have been a tough process no matter what.

yeah it definitely sucked, that's for sure. i feel like the experience educated me but not in a particularly valuable way. in the end i think the most it did was leave a bad imprint on my history, but i feel like i've recovered from it for the most part. sometimes admitting people against their will is necessary/helpful, but that wasn't the case for me. it happens, i guess.

99.9% sure huh?

I was hitting myself to "punish myself" for bad thoughts was I was 9.

I was making myself sick for thinking bad things when oh about 15, not because I wanted to mind. I would dread and fear it, but I felt compelled to out of guilt.

I was diagnosed with severe OCD when I was 11 and then again at 17. It comes and goes throughout life but often seems to flare up when I move somewhere. I've JUST moved and have some serious anxiety. I'm breaking down crying for no reason and have suicidal urges when I get turned down for a job.

I have never even taken drivers ed and was pretty much told when I was 18 that I never would be able to drive and had to rely on my parents if I wanted to get somewhere.

I feel like I'm trapped in a prison. and I feel like I'm going to be trapped in this prison forever unless I get a job. and the prospect of getting a job doesn't look good. I want to separate myself from my family because I'm afraid of hurting them. I'm afraid of hurting me.

I just want them to live a happy life they deserve.

Without me.

I just want to be in a place where having a disability is RECOGNIZED and I'm not told "Oh you can do it, just TRY harder." I want to go to a place to pull myself together so I can get back into the world.

I have breakdowns everyday. I dissolve into crying for no reason at all. I feel emotional swings where i think about dying. I compulsively self harm to punish myself for getting mad at them

I've tried to wake them up multiple times , I've tried running away. I just want them to recognize that I'm actually sick.

I don't WANT to stay there forever. I just want my feelings listened to. I want to be able to talk to someone about my feelings. About feeling trapped hopeless and worthless , without that someone saying "I get it you blame me for everything" afterward.

I want to be reminded "this is a small town people talk" when I wear pants that show four inches of ankle in the winter, and then told I'm banned from wearing those pants at work even when I've told my parents my employers DON'T FUCKING CARE. ("they're just being polite" No Mom, if there was a company policy about it they would tell me. They wouldn't waste time being polite.)

I do believe I may be a threat to myself. Every day I get a rejection I feel worse.

Vocational Rehab may be able to help, depending on where you live.

If that's not an option (or possibly even if it is), see if you can get in touch with other people who have your same disability(s)- some of them may have had similar experiences, and they're more likely to know where and how to access resources, and to have suggestions and/or coping tricks that will actually work for you.

my advice to you is, again, do what you gotta do to keep yourself safe and get well. a lot of people are going to try tough love on you (your parents possibly included) and i know that doesn't work for everybody - no less when the "love" part isn't being reinforced whatsoever - so just take care of yourself. as long as you know that hospitalisation isn't going to change the people around you, then chances are it's worth a shot.

*nods*

Thank you.

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