[ SECRET POST #2460 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2460 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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05. [SPOILERS for something but OP did not say what]



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06. [SPOILERS for Dark Lord of Derkholm]



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07. [SPOILERS for Catching Fire]



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08. [SPOILERS for Breaking Bad]



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09. [SPOILERS for A Touch of Cloth]



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10. [SPOILERS for Epic]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]























11. [WARNING for suicide]



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12. [WARNING for depression, suicide]



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13. [WARNING for rape]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #351.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 (warning for rape) - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

12. [WARNING for depression, suicide]
http://i1187.photobucket.com/albums/z381/youtomyme/ugh_zps600e9033.png

[insanenoodlyguy]

You already are. Because you aren't their friend, you are their counselor. They might not be consciously using you like that. But they are and you either need to pull out or man up.

[(Anonymous)]

God am I glad I'm not the only one who feels like this. Really. I so often wish that I had just ONE friend who I'm not chief counsellor for (even though some of them ARE getting professional help).

[(Anonymous)]

I am both a person who is clinically depressed/posts about my depression and am someone who follows people (on tumblr) who do the same. I use tumblr to vent my feelings because I don't a way to vent them IRL. I don't expect followers or even online friends to constantly comment because I do realize it feels draining/hopeless and I've stopped commenting so much on other people's posts because I can only tell a person so many times that they should get some help because after awhile it feels like nagging.
If these people are getting hurt because you don't comment, then that's their problem. Don't feel like you have to comment on everything. If you just don't like reading about people's depression or worrying about them, then maybe it is best to start a new.

[(Anonymous)]

As another depressed and suicidal person, I will tell you that you absolutely do not have to be anyone's counselor and you absolutely can have fun in fandom.

I've said this before but it's so important: SET BOUNDARIES. You don't have to always talk to your depressed friends, they have to know that you aren't their therapy and that they need to seek help outside of the internet.

Instead of being a therapist just be a friend, be a source of fun. Depressed people are not opposed to that, in face sometimes we need the fun more then we need the therapy.

Also keep in mind that a lot of us who are depressed and suicidal don't post online because we want to bother other people, it's often just because we need to vent. I really don't advise people post it publicly on sites like tumblr, but I understand why it happens since the majority of fandom is over there now.

[(Anonymous)]

SA In face = in fact

[(Anonymous)]

See, I post about my depression and ptsd on tumblr because sometimes a stranger writes me and gives me advice or even just a hug and for that I don't care if the whole world know about my mental illnesses. I'm never going to hide the fact that I suffer from them.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT. I can understand that, I think for some people (me, for instance) the public aspect can be scary though, sometimes strangers can be really nice and helpful, but sometimes they can be harsh and unhelpful.

And being open about mental illness is not always something people can do, it's something maybe we should do- but there are always factors that make us hide these things (jobs, family etc.) That's why most people advise going to people you trust and established professionals rather then just shouting it out at the world and hoping someone will listen.

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's less an issue about how many people you tell on the web, so long as it doesn't mean that you tell no one off the web. Which seems to happen a lot.

[(Anonymous)]

+1

[(Anonymous)]

Another anon who has posted about suicidal thoughts and depression. (Not usually on tumblr, due to the public nature like the anon above said.)

What they're saying about setting boundaries is also absolutely correct. You have a right to not get caught up in this. You have a right to not read posts.

I know it's hard to watch this happen to someone. I feel bad sometimes when I make posts like that but I have no one to talk to in "real life" (except my therapist) so that is how I reach out. But I never, ever want people to feel like they're trapped and have to talk to me.

[(Anonymous)]

seeing things like this just gives me more reasons never to open up about how bad i really feel.

[(Anonymous)]

:(
You shouldn't keep it all bottled up. Maybe just make sure to not *only* post about your problems. My RL posts are interspersed with fandom and pet stuff. So far no one has unfollowed me. You could also (if on tumblr) tag your posts with something like *'username' personal post* so people can blacklist it if they want.

[(Anonymous)]

but if no one wants to hear it, why bother saying it in the first place? the last thing i want to do is drive away the few friends i already have.

[(Anonymous)]

The thing is, people might want to hear it and help and support you. It's just that helping people can be emotionally taxing, and if a person is being leaned on too often, or by too many people, it can drain them and start to affect their mental health.

The best option in this case is for the supporter to know their limits and set up boundaries so they can conserve their emotional energy.

It's also why having a large support network is beneficial for mental health. Because their need for support is distributed across a greater number of people, so none of them become overly taxed.

If you really need it, you should reach out. <3

[(Anonymous)]

Think of it like doing a favor for someone. In a normal friendship that's a healthy part of give and take, you cover the pizza one evening, they pay for movie tickets the next time. There's no real need to count it up to the dollar, you just both enjoy getting a chance to treat the other person now and then.

But then you have a friend who never contributes. The two of you go out, you're paying for their meal, their tickets. They only call or message you because they need money. And you try to come up with ways to hang out that don't involve money, but they don't want to do that. They just want you to buy buy buy buy buy.

Now switch money with emotional energy. Normal friendships there will be give and take. You support them, they support you, and there's interactions that aren't about need but just enjoying eachother's company. Giving them a chance to support you during the hard stuff should be a way to let them know when they're in a tough spot you'll be there for them too.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm talking to my closest friend online less and less for reasons similar to this. The internet is her venting space, but it's my fun space, and I feel awkward wanting her to just do fun things with me when she's just gone on about how she's going through some shit, even though doing fun things is how I deal with all the shit I'm going through (since venting doesn't make me feel better). I just want to try not to die in co-op games and explore new fandoms, goddamn it.

[(Anonymous)]

This was what I liked about forum-based fandom. You could stick to the on-topic threads if that was all you were interested in, and completely ignore the threads about people's personal lives. No one judged you for it.

These days if you RP for twenty minutes, folks feel entitled to weigh you down with all the shit they're going through IRL.