fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2467 ]

[ SECRET POST #2467 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2467 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Attack on Titan]

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[Harry Potter]

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[Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D./Phil Coulson]

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[Breaking Bad / Back to the Future]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #352.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Apologies for not knowing how to label the trigger warning, I can't think straight right now.

So I've learned recently that I'm sensitive to flickering lights-- a bad fluorescent bulb in the grocery store made me feel dizzy and nauseous.

This kind of worried me for reasons of my own. I looked up online today, and figured out I could either just have flicker vertigo or photosensititve epilepsy.

I figured that I needed to know the difference (again, for reasons of my own that I don't want to explain), so I found a video on youtube that could possibly trigger discomfort or seizures in photosensitive people.

So I thought I'd run a test. If I felt kind of shitty and uncomfortable watching it, I probably had flicker vertigo and it wasn't a problem. This was kind of my assumption going in, and nothing would happen to me.

I was so fucking wrong. I had a fucking seizure, and now I feel so fucking stupid and angry at myself.

I'm kind of freaked out. I'm okay now, a little fucked up and woozy and headachey. It happened like 2 hours ago, so I'm a lot better than I was.

Should I tell my roommate, just so that someone else knows what happened to me? I'm tempted to just sit on the information. I mean, it's not gonna happen again unless I go watch another seizure video like a dumbfuck, and I don't want to explain why it happened.

Holy shit I am so stupid and irresponsible with myself. I'm sort of glad I know, because it's a piece of valuable information about myself, but it was such a goddamn dumb way to find out.

Uhhh. Have you been to the doctor? I think your first step should be going to the doctor.

Yeah, I agree. OP, you should see a doctor about it.

This. Go see a damned doctor.

ayrt

After the seizure? No, not yet. Unless something shitastic happens, I'm leaning toward just leaving this whole thing behind me. I really don't want something on my medical record that could fuck up the rest of my life, especially when it may never happen again.

The problem is that it's not impossible to run across things that could set off. Strobe lights, for example, can do it and it's better to have it on there. [Also, the only things it would really bar you from are things that could set it off - so you shouldn't be doing them anyways.]

Not to mention bulbs that take on strobe-like quality before finally burning out. This happened at work and at points I was very glad it wasn't a trigger for anyone in the office.

ayrt

Oh fuck me, that's true. But man, I wanna get a job and shit. I have a cousin (not related by blood) who was diagnosed with (a much stronger version) of photosensitive epilepsy. That cousin cannot drive by law, and still lives with his parents, with no job. I do not want to end up like that.

I'm at such a critical point in my life, that if I get it checked out now, it will fuck my chances over for the rest of my life. And I mean, most places by law can't include the kinds of stimuli that would potentially trip seizures.

I'm really not trying to justify being potentially irresponsible, I'm just terrified that I've figured out how to really and truly fuck myself over.

But as you said, it's a much stronger version, and there may be other reasons this cousin can't get a job or drive. I can't think of many jobs you couldn't hold specifically because you occasionally have seizures.

Re: So fucking irresponsible [possible TW?]

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 00:13 (UTC) - Expand

Re: So fucking irresponsible [possible TW?]

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 04:07 (UTC) - Expand

Re: So fucking irresponsible [possible TW?]

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 04:21 (UTC) - Expand

FixedThatAnon

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 04:55 (UTC) - Expand

Re: So fucking irresponsible [possible TW?]

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 12:08 (UTC) - Expand

You don't want to wait until something shitastic happens. Really. Seizures can have serious consequences.

Uh, a seizure IS shitastic. And where do you live, and what work do you do that it is contingent on approving your medical record? AND if you DO have a condition that would preclude you from a certain job...there's probably a reason you should not be doing that job. By not disclosing a condition, you're not only fucking yourself over, but your (potential?) employer, too, And if this job you want/have makes you responsible for other people, you're fucking them all over as well.

Basically, if there's nothing wrong with you, there will be nothing in your medical report that would give somebody pause. If there IS something wrong with you, then you're dead-on with this thread title, because you're being a fucking irresponsible moron.

OP

I know it's kind of shitastic already, but I meant more like long term effects or a lowered threshold for light sensitivity.

And it's not that it precludes me from a certain job-- it's that it may preclude me from a huge range of jobs that are in my main area of interest.

But you are absolutely right. If I have a condition that would endanger myself or others, I need to get it checked out.

I'm sorry I'm just... really really freaked out about the possibility that I've effectively opened the goddamn biological Pandora's box and fucked myself over for the rest of my life.

Re: So fucking irresponsible [possible TW?]

dancing_clown - 2013-10-05 00:47 (UTC) - Expand

You know what's shitastic? SEIZURES.

Well..it wasn't the smartest thing to do, particularly when you're alone but I'd say go to the doctor, just in case [and also so they know to put in your file if something happens in the future].

First, don't feel stupid. You're not. And you should tell your roommate or someone else; that will make you feel better.

But PLEASE see a doctor. Medical websites do not replace professionals. And what if you had to see something triggery without warning? A doctor can run tests and provide treatment. Epilepsy isn't something you want to sit on.

OP

Thanks for your reply, and I definitely see your point.

I don't mean to seem abstruse or deliberately combative, but I'm pretty sure I don't have epilepsy. I'm 26, and I'm pretty sure it would have manifested before now? The only other seizure I've had was because I fainted, and seizures after faints are pretty common, so.

I think I'll probably give myself some time, like a week or something, and if I'm still okay, I'll chalk it up as a really shitty learning experience.

I don't mean to seem abstruse or deliberately combative, but I'm pretty sure I don't have epilepsy. I'm 26, and I'm pretty sure it would have manifested before now?

Oh my fucking god. The very fact that you ended this with a question mark should be a giant red flag to yourself that you don't actually know shit and you need to get yourself to a doctor.

AYRT

I'm pretty sure I don't have epilepsy.</i I'm confused now - you said you think you have a form of it that has to deal with photo sensitivity.

ayrt

I meant more like generalized epilepsy, not reflex epilepsy. Yeah, not much of a distinction, it's still epilepsy.

Holy god I am so very fucking fucked shit shit shit

Accidentally triggering it wasn't stupid or irresponsible, but not going to a doctor now that you know would be.

(OF COURSE YOU TELL YOUR ROOMMATE YOU HAD A SEIZURE YOU SHOULD PROBABLY ALSO GO TO A GODDAMN DOCTOR YOU HAD A SEIZURE]

OP

I'm sorry, I think my coping mechanism for this is both freaking out and downplaying the fuck out of the potential severity of this.

I am really not good about telling people about these kind of problems. Which is kind of the reason why I'm being a fucking idiot and talking about it anonymous on the internet. Augh fml

You tell your roommate you had a seizure. You don't tell him you caused it (though you didn't really cause it on purpose), just tell him you watched something and it turned out to trigger you. But it's important for the person you're living with to know in case something happens. Write a note if you have to.

You really should see a doctor if you can, though.

OP

Okay, told my roommate. She was kind of freaked out, and agreed I should go to the doctor. And that she would check on me later. So uh. That's settled.

Thanks for your advice, I do feel a bit better now that someone knows. Still royally freaked out, myself, but a bit better.

Re: Another tragic loss for Pokemon Fandom

chardmonster - 2013-10-05 01:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Another tragic loss for Pokemon Fandom

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 02:19 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Another tragic loss for Pokemon Fandom

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 04:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Another tragic loss for Pokemon Fandom

dancing_clown - 2013-10-05 04:52 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Another tragic loss for Pokemon Fandom

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 05:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Another tragic loss for Pokemon Fandom

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-05 05:09 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Another tragic loss for Pokemon Fandom

pantasma - 2013-10-05 07:49 (UTC) - Expand

Just gonna add to the chorus of people telling you to go to the doctor. I'm not sure what the consequences will be, but they could be much, much worse if you don't do anything about this.

Glad to hear you told your roommate. Someone needs to know (just in case), and as frightening as it is having this knowledge, you might also be able to more easily avoid these kinds of situations in the future.

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