[ SECRET POST #2510 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2510 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 092 secrets from Secret Submission Post #359.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Santa

[(Anonymous)]

Uh, pairing the two because Christmas is about both Santa and Christianity? Sometimes both, sometimes only one or the other.

Not OP but I hated the Santa thing once I found out the truth. I felt lied to and betrayed and stupid afterwards. If I have kids I'll do the Santa thing but I'll be telling the kids about the mythology of Santa and have it be a fun thing without stressing the "he's really real!" part. I don't find that magical.

But I'd also stress respecting others beliefs and not ruining the fun for other kids.

Re: Santa

[(Anonymous)]

...how old were you when you stopped believing? 12?

Re: Santa

[(Anonymous)]

Around 8 I think.

Re: Santa

[tabaqui]

Yes, it is, but you don't have to have Xianity to have Santa, and a lot of really hard-core Xians hate the whole 'Santa' deal as 'commercializing their' holiday.

Wow. I can't even imagine. I didn't feel any of that, it just...sort of gradually became clear it was a pretend thing, but Xmas still never stopped being wonderful and magical because of that for me.

Not every kid is traumatized by Santa.

Re: Santa

[(Anonymous)]

I think MOST kids are not traumatized.

Re: Santa

[tabaqui]

Me, too.

Re: Santa

[(Anonymous)]

No, not every kid is traumatized by the idea of Santa. But I don't think not having Santa is some kind of cruelty to children.

Christmas never stopped being wonderful. I love the holiday and love giving gifts and celebrating family, which is why I would carry on those aspects of it if I ever had kids.

Re: Santa

[tabaqui]

No, i don't think it's cruel particularly, but it's not *harmful*, either. What's the big deal about a little magic and pretend? Kids pretend *all kinds* of things are real - Santa, elves, superheroes, monsters in the closet....

I guess i don't see the point in this sober, kinda boring 'no, no, Santa's not real' thing. It comes across as either too straight-laced and unimaginative for words, or enjoying spoiling other people's fun in a kind of snobby way.

Re: Santa

[(Anonymous)]

See my problem is that I think your view is too either/or. Like not saying Santa is real is suddenly unimaginative and not fun. You can have a lot of fun with myths and games and pretending without also trying to say things are real. It's not straight-laced or boring at all in my view.

Re: Santa

[tabaqui]

So, how do you have fun with myths and games and pretending...but Santa is the only one that's off limits? Seems kinda strange to pick *one* pretend to exclude.

And what if it backfires? What if your kid comes home from Kindergarten or whatever in tears, accusing you of lying and being mean because *all the kids* and the teacher, too, at school said Santa is real and 'your mom/dad' is mean/wrong/stupid/making it up to cheat you out of presents?

Re: Santa

[(Anonymous)]

You're misunderstanding me. I would include the myth of Santa in the fun, I just would never try and say that Santa is real.

I don't really understand your hypothetical. My kids wouldn't be unaware of Santa or anything. It's not like it would be a surprise that others believe in it. Same as any other religion or belief.

Re: Santa

[tabaqui]

Because if you're saying 'Santa's not real, it's just people buying stuff', and all the other kids (and some of the adults) your kid knows are saying 'of course Santa is real, he lives at the North Pole! I wrote him a letter! He brought me a Hot Wheels last year!!', your kid might, possibly, start thinking *you* are the one lying for some weird reason, instead of them.

Just a thought - kids brains don't work like adults brains, and you never know just where they'll end up with the information their given.

Re: Santa

[vethica]

I never believed in Santa (I'm not Christian). It was never an issue for me that other kids did, because I understood that different people could believe different things. I'm sure I'm not alone in that.

Re: Santa

[otakugal15]

Treat the Santa thing as a story, which in truth, it really is.

You know that animated movie that is the origin for Santa? He was a little toy maker who ended up losing his shop and such? Use that, bu treat is a fantastical, fun myth instead of saying he's "real."

Now, if your kids wanna pretend he's real because of it? No harm done and it's still fun.

Santa doesn't have to be and either or here.

Re: Santa

[cassandraoftroy]

While I don't think doing the usual Santa thing with kids is cruel or traumatizing or anything, it's only "pretend" if you're letting the kid in on the joke from the start. Otherwise you're just telling the kid that something is real when it isn't. In one case, it's a fun game; in the other, the kid's just being lied to. In my case, I felt like I had to try to believe even after the whole Santa thing had stopped making sense to me, and that was difficult and unpleasant.

Re: Santa

[tabaqui]

Except it's not a joke, it's a bit of magical whimsy. When my oldest brother got old enough to realize it wasn't real, he helped my mom and dad make it 'real' for us by saying he heard reindeer hooves on the roof. Man, how we envied him his ability to stay up later and *hear Santa*!

To each their own, but it's baffling to me that something as silly and fun as Santa is freighted with all this weight of 'lie' and 'trauma'. So much of childhood is make believe and pretending and 'if we get to the corner before the light changes, we can get ice cream'.... I'd hate to think of my childhood stripped of things like that.

Re: Santa

[cassandraoftroy]

*shrug* I guess I just don't get what's more fun about being tricked into believing something that isn't true. If it's about whimsy and pretend, a kid can get just as much enjoyment out of it knowing that they're pretending, and without the added stress and cognitive dissonance that can arise. (Speaking from my own childhood, I had erroneously convinced myself that if I stopped believing in Santa, I wouldn't get presents anymore, so I ended up trying to force myself to believe even though it no longer made sense. I could've done without that.)

Re: Santa

[tabaqui]

It's a pity it was such a downer for you.

Re: Santa

[diet_poison]

I got enjoyment both out of believing in Santa, and then realizing it wasn't true and keeping it up for my little sister. The pretend is fun either way, as long as there's at least one person in the house you're pretending for.

I was certainly not traumatized by realizing Santa wasn't real; I got the impression that it was just a Thing that adults told kids and my parents weren't doing anything out of the ordinary. I never felt betrayed, lied to, or otherwise upset. *shrug*

Re: Santa

[(Anonymous)]

It's not pretending if the kid doesn't know it's pretending. Otherwise it's a lie. Which whatever, some people lie to their kids for fun or protection. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with it, I just don't understand why people get so angry about people choosing not to lie in that manner.

Re: Santa

[tabaqui]

...somebody's angry about it?

Me, i'm baffled, because you say 'lie' like i told my daughter if she spun around three times and said 'abra cadabra!' she'd be immune to cars and could play in the street.

Re: Santa

[cassandraoftroy]

This is kind of where I'm coming from too.

Re: Santa

[(Anonymous)]

It's only lying if you specifically say 'Santa is real', though. Which I don't think my parents ever really did. We went through the whole thing of leaving cookies and milk and writing letters and going to see mall Santa's and stuff on occasion... But like the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy, it was all just one big game, y'know? That as I got older I just naturally sort of realized wasn't real more and more, but still thought was a lot of fun.

I dunno, I guess I just can't understand people who think their parents were lying when they played at Santa and stuff with them.

(I actually had the same experience with God, actually. I used to go to Sunday School and pray on occasion and stuff, but then I kind just fell out of belief the same way I did with Santa. The Bible and stuff was just another set of stories like any fantasy book I read.)

Re: Santa

[(Anonymous)]

Except for mall Santa. That Santa can be traumatizing. ;-)

Re: Santa

[tabaqui]

Yes, yes he can.
*shudders*