[ SECRET POST #2512 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2512 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 062 secrets from Secret Submission Post #359.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[(Anonymous)]

What are some internet catchphrases people use you hate? For example, "first."

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[(Anonymous)]

People without children calling people with kids "breeders." Or children "crotchfruit."

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[(Anonymous)]

That's not really an Internet-exclusive catchphrase (unfortunately).

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[(Anonymous)]

Somehow I've never seen these phrases used. Lucky me.

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[(Anonymous)]

IA I hate this too. I am aware that some people don't like being bothered about not wanting kids. That doesn't make it right to declare open season on people with children.

I hate "crotchfruit" /"Crotchdropping" because it sounds disgusting and dehumanizing. What is a child? They're a fucking PERSON.

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[(Anonymous)]

People can be such assholes.

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[tei]

CROTCHFRUIT?

I have never heard anyone say this. And hopefully never will.

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[diet_poison]

I wouldn't call these "internet catchphrases" since they're really limited to a specific sort of group, but ia that they are awful. :(

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[gondremark]

While I completely understand and sympathise with the fact that some people don't want to reproduce and that children can be horribly annoying sometimes, the whole "childfree" movement seems to be filled with seething hate for the continuation of the human species.
It's like these people forget that their parents were "breeders" and they themselves were once "crotchfruit". Except "crotchfruit" isn't even entirely accurate. As far as I know, no one has been successfully grown to term in a lab to date, but people are, to put an unnecessarily Shakespearean spin on c-sections, "ripped untimely from their mothers' wombs" (or maybe "crotchfruit" refers to conception instead of birth? it's a silly word no matter where it comes from).

I don't ever see myself becoming a dad. Kids wear me out and are loud and shrill and obnoxious. I have fond memories of being a kid, though, and I'm helping raise my youngest sister, who is a wonderful and fully realised human being even if she does get on my nerves and doesn't quite know how real life works because she's 12.

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[fingalsanteater]

"White girls" and "feels" mostly. "Land whale" somewhat.

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[(Anonymous)]

Guh...I hate the white girls thing.

Also landwhale is annoying and rude imo. Though I was amused to have someone on reddit call me a landwhale once they found out I was female, because I poked fun at their "Need to get laid" comment. I laughed, because dude, I'm pretty twiggy.

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[greenvelvetcake]

"Hamplanets" makes me want to punch the user in the throat.

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[queerwolf]

"feels" and cutting off words, i.e. "I am disappoint"

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[supermanda]

+1

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[diet_poison]

whoops

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[gondremark]

*mourns the sorry fate of inflected verbs* "delish" is pretty annoying, too.

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[(Anonymous)]

I don't mind "feels" but it bugs me when people use it for serious things. To me it describes fandom-specific feelings, when you're gushing over a character or a certain scene and you know it's kind of silly but you're still overwhelmed. I think I'm the only one who reads it this way.

I cringe when companies use really old memes on their products or in their PR. I don't like it when I see internet stuff on t-shirts in general.

I'm sure there are more but I can't think of them right now.

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[(Anonymous)]

"Thank."

IS IT SO HARD TO ADD AN S?

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[(Anonymous)]

problematic

white women tears

step on a lego

also, if this counts, purposeful lack of pronunciation and good grammar to sound... I don't even know, more internety? For example

i hate white girls, srsly they are so problematic i hope they all step on legos ugh

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[(Anonymous)]

To be honest, I love and use pretty much all of them.

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[(Anonymous)]

Step on a lego will always and forever be my least favorite phrase.

But a lot meme phrases get old fast for me and I'm not too keen on most word shortening either.

And I feel really weird about casual writing that you see on tumblr mostly.

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[starphotographs]

For like a split second, I read this as "what internal catchphrases do you use?" As in, phrases that you repeatedly think in reaction to various things, even if you don't often say them out loud.

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[greenvelvetcake]

'Murrica! makes you look like a complete moron.

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[dimestoresaint]

Not really exclusive to the internet, but I hate seeing women referred to as "females" in non-scientific contexts.

Re: Being the first commenter (at least as I type) inspired this

[gondremark]

Tumblr-speak. It's obnoxious, it's meaningless, it makes the poster look like an idiot, it's highly contagious, and it makes txtspk look sane by comparison.

"So this is a thing that happened."

How about saying something about the thing that happened. Why did it happen? why does it matter? is it a good thing or a bad thing? tell the reader something, anything about this thing or its happening. Why bother typing at all if you're going to say nothing whatsoever? Even just an emoticon tells the reader more about the thing that happened than that inane phrase.

"All the feels!" has a bit of meaning, but it's so much easier to say "I am so happy/sad about this" or "I don't know how this is supposed to make me feel" or "This is such horrible/wonderful sentiment". All the phrase does is state that something is emotionally impactful without so much as implying what that impact is. The reader can often tell from the context what the feelings in question are, but this is not always the case, and why pass up a chance to explain why you like or dislike something? isn't that what the internet is all about?

"I can't even." I can't even with this sentence fragment. First off, it's a sentence fragment, there is no object, I can no longer hide my inner language-loving rage tendencies (I'm not perfect, but who is? I least I make an effort to say things that I mean and to do so in such a way that the reader or listener can understand me). Secondly, it means nothing whatsoever. Like "All the feels" it implies strong emotion, but doesn't tell anyone what that emotion is all about. I can't even begin to describe how annoying Tumblr is. I can't even understand why I like some stupid TV show as much as I do. I can't even explain how happy I was when I got this new cool thing. I can't even force myself to continue reading this drivel. There are so many things that could be expressed and that the Tumblrites are trying to say, but none of it comes out, they just flail around and dribble sentence fragments like so many overtired toddlers.

TL;DR Tumblr's inability to express itself is as annoying as anything else on Tumblr. Here, have an essay on the subject.