[ SECRET POST #2576 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2576 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 040 secrets from Secret Submission Post #368.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

10. http://i.imgur.com/1AFrXGJ.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

4. Therapy?

Honestly, this amount of rage seems like a huge overreaction.

[dancing_clown]

4. Talk with your friends about everything in fandom EXCEPT this person you hate. I don't think saying you don't want to talk about that person will generate the wank among friends you think it will, unless you tear down that person they still like in the process.

But don't blame other people if you're not willing to risk a little discomfort to try to keep something you like.

[(Anonymous)]

At this point, 3 is your healthiest option.

[(Anonymous)]

I was where you are a few years ago. Taking a break from fandom and going offline and focusing on real life for a few months made all the difference in the world. When you come back, you'll wonder why you ever drove yourself crazy over minor crap.

[(Anonymous)]

This secret is basically tumblr in a nutshell. You're overreacting to a ridiculous degree about something (almost certainly) insignificant and instead of thinking "Hey maybe I should calm the fuck down and sort my priorities out" you're blaming them for "ruining" your fandom for you.

No, you ruined it for yourself. And if you keep that attitude you're going to ruin every future fandom for yourself as well.

[(Anonymous)]

you're blaming them for "ruining" your fandom for you. No, you ruined it for yourself. And if you keep that attitude you're going to ruin every future fandom for yourself as well.

THIS! The "thanks for taking this away from me" really stuck out to me, too. Nobody took anything away from you, OP - all of your fandom stuff is still there, you just need to figure out how to take several steps away from your anger.

[(Anonymous)]

You tell mental ill people it's 'all in their heads' and to 'get over it' too don't you?

Not OP

[(Anonymous)]

Just DIAF already.

[iceyred]

I vote for option one. Wank away, kiddo.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm with dancing_clown. Just ignore her, forget she exists. Someone tries to talk to you about her, change the subject. Eventually, she'll piss off the wrong BNF or whatever, there really be wank and drama and maybe she'll toddle away.

[greenvelvetcake]

Their artwork - which I can pick out at 50 paces - causes a Pavlovian rage response.

Backing off and taking a breather might be your best option, OP. And/or therapy.

[(Anonymous)]

Just remember that people like that are often online for a reason - they can't function in the real world. Because if they can't even pretend not to be a sexist whack job online, imagine what they're like in real life.

[(Anonymous)]

Again, can't we name the fandom? I really wanna know! I'm nosy like that!

:(

[(Anonymous)]

I've been here. It's hard to admit the amount of hurt and anger involved. :/ Honestly? It feels like it's one fan but it's EVERYTHING that's been bugging you and this ONE FINAL thing has triggered your overreaction feeling (at least it was in my case).

At this point you just need to get away till you're better. It's not worthy your mental health.

Leave. Seriously. Maybe you can go back someday. But now? No. No. Get away. If anyone is really your friend they'll still be your friend even if you can't discuss or share this w/ them anymore.

You won't regret leaving. You will regret staying.

Sorry to be the one to tell you.

[forgottenjester]

You sound like you need to chill.

Also, if this is tumblr, yesterday people told me to use xkit for a problem I had with blacklisting stuff I didn't care about. Lemme tell you, you can not only block all mention of her but also anything reblogged from her by using some of the extensions. You could literally remove her from your tumblr existence.

So, like, you have another option.

[(Anonymous)]

I had the exact same reaction but to a show and a character. I stepped away but when ever I hear either mentioned I still snarl a bit at the computer.

[(Anonymous)]

are you SURE you're not overreacting?
I mean, SURE?

Like, is it possible that she just posted something that you misinterpreted and then freaked out about without ever actually addressing her about it?

Because I was on the opposite side of this problem once (that is, I reblogged something and agreed with part of it, and another fan saw and thought I was agreeing with the whole sentiment-- part of which was admittedly terrible-- and FLIPPED OUT, even though she never even said "hey that is terrible" or "do you really believe ___?" or anything to me).

[(Anonymous)]

Been there. I wouldn't let them win though, figuratively speaking. Why should you have to leave a fandom you love over some toxic fuckhead? Tumblr/AO3 savior their username. If you still happen to see their name in a thread, skim over that part. You feel a bit soured over it right now, so follow only blogs (or read sites) that make you feel positive about your canon, even if this person's influence is widespread. The impulse to dip your toes back in to see what's going on might be strong, but ime it won't be worth it. Ignorance is bliss.

I hope you can keep enjoying your fandom OP.

[ex_mek82]

Yeah, this happened to me not that long ago with a fandom I used to be involved in. There were some people in that fandom who really annoyed the snot out of me in a bad way. This was also around the time I was officially diagnosed with anxiety-depression, and I'd decided the best way to help myself was to unfollow p. much every fandom-related blog I'd been following at that point (barring close friends). I only stick with art-related blog and a few side interests, and my Tumblr existence has been much, much better since. That approach might not work for everyone, but I found it did for me, anyways. =T

I'd suggest sticking to following only your friends from said fandom, and using Tumblr extensions like Xkit to block this person out of your site*existence. Because tbh, if it's upsetting you *that* badly, you probably want to seriously rethink priorities and/or who you're following and all the stuff said better by the people before me. There are some things not worth expending so much rage on, and a rube on the internet is not one of them, imo.

[(Anonymous)]

Take a break, OP. But not a long one, but maybe just at least a week to cool off.

Once you've taken a break for a little while, when you get back, just make sure to blacklist their name everywhere. Use Tumblr Savior or whatever else you can do on other sites to block their name and their posts. When it comes to mutual friends, if they bring the person's name up, just ask them to not mention them. I'm sure that they'd be happy to oblige. If they ask why, be honest with them. Or if anything, just tell them that even seeing the person's name really upsets you. I'm sure that they'd be happy to respect your wishes. And if not, then well, you know who your real friends are.

I was sort of in a similar situation as yours, except this particular BNF I was really close to. She did me wrong, I ended up dissolving the friendship because she basically wanted me to come groveling back to her even though she was the one who was being really hurtful, and even just seeing her name on my Tumblr Dashboard got me really upset. So I took a little break. It was just about a week's worth, but I threw myself into my work and distracted myself from Tumblr and the internet in general. Once I decided to slowly come back, I made sure to block her everywhere, and blacklist her URL so that I wouldn't have to see posts from her, even if they were just reblogs of things. Fortunately for me, she also decided to kind of ease her way out of the fandom, going as far to make a new account (which a lot of our mutual followers didn't end up following her on) and since then, I have fortunately not seen much of her since. I can't promise it'll be the same for you, but just taking a break and blocking this person will do a whole lot of good. Like someone else said, if it's a Tumblr thing, you can basically eradicate their existence on Tumblr with an extension like XKit, which will make things much less stressful for you.

There's no reason for you to have to leave a fandom just because someone's acting like a twat.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, whatever. Xkit, Tumblr Savior and the Ignore function are all your friends.

[(Anonymous)]

I have a similar issue. She decided to not want to be my friend again because of my mental health issues. And then she is just freaking everywhere. I had to stay off of most websites. I no longer listen to the band we bonded with because of her and sometimes my homicidal thoughts are strong.

[(Anonymous)]

I sympathise. It sucks when you can't avoid someone in fandom you hate and sucks even harder when you're damn friends are all over them. :(

[(Anonymous)]

I'm same as you about someone in my fandom, op.

I ignore it the best I can because I don't want them taking this away from me.

I think whatever happened happened recently and you're still feeling it, but it'll start fading, I hope and you can put a distance between you and them and ignore whenever their name comes up. Don't let them drive you away!