fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2596 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2596 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Star Trek: The Next Generation]

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03.

[The Croods]

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04.

[Elementary]

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05.

[Final Fantasy XIII]

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06.

[SCP Foundation]

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07.

[Philip Seymour Hoffman]

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08.

[Twin Peaks]

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09.

[Richard Armitage]

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10.

[Reign]

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11.

[The Hobbit]

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12.

[Hunger Games]

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13.

[Don't Hug Me I'm Scared]

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14.

[Teen Wolf]

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15.

[Panic! at The Disco/Dallon Weekes]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 063 secrets from Secret Submission Post #371.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"He called me a promise breaker for not wanting to play..."

You should totally stop dating ten year olds, OP. Unless you yourself are ten, in which case keep dating ten year olds but dump this one for being immature even by the standards of a ten year old.

But seriously. If you want to salvage this relationship, communication is key. E-mail if you can't talk it out in person. That might actually help if you both have difficulties expressing yourselves or your points of view without getting derailed.

First, your BF seems like he's emotionally invested in you trying those board games. This... isn't rational. I don't know if he's interpreting a rejection of the board games as a rejection of himself, but if so, he should probably stop doing that because it doesn't make any goddamn sense. Second, you weren't even rejecting the board games. You said you'd play them with him, which REASONABLE adults understand is a general agreement, and not a hewn-in-stone promise with a sell-by date.

Your BF's mistake was 1) making an assumption about what you meant instead of simply asking you whether or not you wanted to try them THIS WEEKEND and 2) upon discovering the miscommunication, acts like you personally squatted and took a shit on the gaming board in front of him. "Led him on about making him believe I liked board games"? WTF? Like you're a board game cock tease or something? This also is highly irrational.

So yeah, definitely something else going on with your relationship that's manifesting in weird ways. The key is whether or not you can both talk about the actual issues rather than getting sidetracked with all these nonsensical red herrings. But if some of the things you said you were true-- does he suck all the joy out of life? Is he irrationally jealous when you have fun with people who aren't him?

Even if he doesn't ordinarily say nasty stuff about you in day to day conversation, if it comes out really easily in your (albeit rare) fights, guess what? It was there all along in some form or another.

"definitely something else going on with your relationship that's manifesting in weird ways"

I think this might be the case, but don't know how to address it. No, normally he does not suck the joy out of me, he just did that weekend. Same with the jealous thing. He pretty much never showed signs of being jealous before, which makes it all the more weird.

All in all most things about the fight were atypical (except the fact that most our fights were over seemingly stupid shit like this, so I think they're generally a front for other discontentment).

What you said earlier about needing emotional and intellectual stimulation from more than one person sounds very relevant to the whole OMG YOU LED ME TO BELIEVE YOU LIKED BOARD GAMES, YOU PROMISE-BREAKER MEANIE BUTT! thing.

Either way, that outburst was... special. And not in a good way. It's one thing to be slightly immature, that kind of behavior would've been embarrassing for anyone over age 7. If this dude can't work out his problems without the smokescreen of "board games" when he means "emotional intimacy" or "sex", then he's not mature enough to be in a relationship, period.

I'm going to try and be as objective as I can, but as someone who has been in a frighteningly similar situation to your "bad weekend"...

He's feeling insecure, and it manifested itself as jealousy and accusations that you broke a promise.

This was at the ten year mark in my relationship. You know what I ended up doing to appease him? Cut myself off from all the friends I had made. Made myself as available to him as possible.

However, our lives were already diverging. I was continuing to grow, mature, and become independent. He was becoming more immature and dependent as the years went by. I wanted to make things work, so I sacrificed and sacrificed and sacrificed...

And in the end? Just a few months shy of 16 years into the relationship, he met and fell in love with a co-worker twenty years his junior, and that was it. He wasn't even open to the possibility of an open relationship, even though he knew I'm polyamorous (but had been monogamous during this relationship because that's what I agreed to), because even though HE could dick around, he didn't want to share me. (WTF?)

I'm single now, and I'm happier than I've ever been.

If you two can somehow work it out in a way that's healthy for both of you, I wish you joy, but this is sending up red flags to me.

[ SECRET POST #2596 ]

Re: FS, my bf and I got into a stupid argument, and I think I might have broken something I can't fi

Re: FS, my bf and I got into a stupid argument, and I think I might have broken something I can't fi

Re: FS, my bf and I got into a stupid argument, and I think I might have broken something I can't fi

Re: FS, my bf and I got into a stupid argument, and I think I might have broken something I can't fi