fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2598 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2598 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

__________________________________________________

11.

__________________________________________________

12.

__________________________________________________

13.

__________________________________________________

14.

__________________________________________________

15.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 031 secrets from Secret Submission Post #371.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm a cismale. I can't see myself as anything other than a cismale. There is no way I'm even remotely trans.

BUT

I hate it. I hate being male. I hate that being a man means I'm either woefully incompetent or a significant danger to women. I hate that my genitals makes me an implied threat to women. I hate knowing that I have this immediate social image, and I hate even more that I deserve it. I hate that I laugh at problematic jokes, I hate that sometimes I just can't see where some feminists are coming from with certain things, and I hate what this probably means about me. I hate that I read "strangers in paradise" for the first time last week, and in spite of hearing for years about how good it is, how feminist is it, how good for women it is, I hate that I felt uncomfortable reading it, like it was specifically against me. I hate feeling like the villain and I hate knowing that I am the villain and that I deserve to feel uncomfortable, that I am the villain. I read a poem on the blog of a woman I really respect recently, and I hate knowing she feels this way about me. It was about men in general, but I hate knowing it applied to me. I hate how angry Anita Sarkeesian makes me. I hate that this whole post is a fedora "Woe is me it's so hard to be a man" style MRA screed.

I am a man and I truly hate myself for it. I hate

Take a deep breath, son, I doubt you're the monster you think you are.

Seconding. And the poem you read isn't about you personally. It's a generalized picture of problematic issues. Just be aware of those things and try to work on them. You're probably an okay guy, you just have issues. Just like everybody else.

Thanks also. But the poem was about me. sort of. it was about a joke I have laughed at and repeated in the past. I am really, really not an ok guy. I do a fine impression of one, but I know I'm not.

Thank you.

A lot of guys are trying to deal with our own gender identity and masculinity. It can be really hard. And the fact that it's so easy to blow off the actual pain of these problems as an "MRA screed" means that society has a lot to answer for in how we address these issues.

You're not alone, and remember: there's no excuse for bullying. If someone's bullying you in the name of social justice, it's no different than if they were doing it in the name of their high school football team. They're still just a bully and you don't have to pretend otherwise. I know you didn't mention being picked on by people but... let's just say I have a hunch it's happened.

Well, I think it takes a lot of courage to aknowledge how you feel in a public forum like this one, and for that I feel grateful. And I also think that, while you're feeling angry now, you still have the awareness to actually think why you're feeling they way you do.

That's the first step in the right path, I think. Trying to put yourself in the place of women is something not any guy does (especially if it hurts); most of the guys I know just feel angry and lash out, but without questioning why they even feel that way, and why that's problematic.

Your post was a very enlightening point of view of what are expected of men (both positive and negative) in our society, so I want to thank you for that.

Calm down, dude. The first thing is: It's good you're becoming aware of these things, it may sound cliché, but it is really the fist step to do your own gender justice.

There's no such thing as a perfect person. We all work on getting better, I've been calling myself a feminist for almost a decade, but I still shudder at some of the stuff I used to say some years ago. So breathe, ok?

Good men do exist, and feminist men also exist. There are a lot of things men also have to go through and fight against; but the gist of it is: The patriarchy is everyone's enemy - yes you benefit from it and will continue to do so, and yes it also fucked you up big time but at least you know what happened.

Caring about the particular wronging it did to you and your male peers is kind of natural and doesn't make you a MRA, mmkay? MRA is the dude that ONLY cares about that, and on top thinks it's the feminists fault and goes around crying misandry. Just stay open to these topics, don't try to steal the spotlight in women's feminist/safe spaces, and give yourself time.

"Caring about the particular wronging it did to you and your male peers is kind of natural and doesn't make you a MRA, mmkay? MRA is the dude that ONLY cares about that, and on top thinks it's the feminists fault and goes around crying misandry."

Bam, nailed it. I may steal that definition, because it's dead fucking on.

I'm glad it was useful to you, nonny! :D Steal away, no prob.

[ SECRET POST #2598 ]

Re: tl;dr penis envy and your fucked up confessions

Re: tl;dr penis envy and your fucked up confessions

Re: tl;dr penis envy and your fucked up confessions

Re: tl;dr penis envy and your fucked up confessions

Re: tl;dr penis envy and your fucked up confessions

Re: tl;dr penis envy and your fucked up confessions

Re: tl;dr penis envy and your fucked up confessions

Re: tl;dr penis envy and your fucked up confessions

Re: tl;dr penis envy and your fucked up confessions

Re: tl;dr penis envy and your fucked up confessions