[ SECRET POST #2611 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2611 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 045 secrets from Secret Submission Post #372.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Sexting

[(Anonymous)]

Okay so, I've been in a monogamous relationship with the same guy for over a year. We've been intimate together and trust each other completely. What came along with our intimacy is a penchant for sexting. We both have done it, and we both enjoy getting them from each other. It has improved our sex life by making things exciting. And doing this with someone I love has made my confidence sky rocket. However, when I was visiting my mother, she took the liberty of snooping through my cell phone and found all these photos. She flipped out over it and told me to delete all of them and if I didn't she'd tell the rest of the family. I am an adult living on my own and I pay for my own phone, so there's no reason my mother should have any say in this and what I do in my private life with my long term boyfriend. But she tried to stress to me that I should be ashamed of myself and how this is going to ruin my life.

So anyway, FS. How do you feel about sexting? Have you done it before? Do you think it's okay for people to do? If you've done it, how has it made you feel about yourself? Has anyone you've known found out about and what was their reaction? Do you think any sexting will come back to haunt you?

Re: Sexting

[(Anonymous)]

I'm cool with sexting, but I haven't done it myself.

I do think people should be careful with it, though. And I think most people are probably better off using snapchat or cropping out your head than having identifiable pictures floating around, because I've seen relationships go sour and those pictures getting out.

Re: Sexting

[(Anonymous)]

Wow that's really creepy of your mom?

I dunno, I've cybered before. Sometimes I worry that it will come back to haunt me but then I'm like, why? People have sex all the time. Am I never supposed to have sex because a jealous ex might call potential employers and tell them how I am in bed?

As long as they're adults and they're not harming anyone I don't care at all.

Re: Sexting

[(Anonymous)]

She's always been like that. She also calls me fat a lot (even though I'm 5'6" and have never been over 145 lbs) along with picking on my appearance for other things. That's kind of why sexting with my boyfriend has been rather liberating; he's never been anything but complimentary of the photos I've sent him.

He's not the vengeful type, so I'm not worried if we ever did break up.

Re: Sexting

[(Anonymous)]

That must be really irritating. My girlfriend and I did text sexting while we were long distance but no photos. I don't really like taking photos of myself (clothed or not) so we reserved the visuals for Skype. My sympathies - you're an independent adult and that's not her place.

Re: Sexting

[(Anonymous)]

Meh, not my thing.

That said, I could understand her reaction if she was telling you to be careful about pictures but...wtf is this about telling your family? [Also, wtf at her snooping.]

Re: Sexting

[(Anonymous)]

There are always concerns about any naked photos of yourself that you put into hands other than your own, but when you're an adult and in a long-term relationship with a person you trust, the risks aren't as severe as they could be, and an adult has the right to decide what they do with their own bodies and photographs thereof. As for the rest of it, sexy text-messaging, there's nothing wrong with it.

Honestly, the bigger issue for me is the fact that your mother is snooping in the phone of her adult child. That's a ridiculous invasion of privacy and if you want my advice, you need to lay down some serious boundaries with your mother, and enforce them.

Re: Sexting

[diet_poison]

That's a ridiculous invasion of privacy and if you want my advice, you need to lay down some serious boundaries with your mother, and enforce them.

This x1000. yeeeeesh.

Re: Sexting

[lunabee34]

I agree.

Re: Sexting

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, boundaries.

Starting with a phone passcode. C'mon, OP. Not to make light of your mom snooping, but imagine if someone else got into your phone and saw the pics.

Re: Sexting

[(Anonymous)]

Your mother sounds like a nut. She shouldn't be snooping through your cell phone, for starters, and while you may or may not regret the sexting and photos, it's your life. You're an independent adult, making independent adult decisions. I'd tell her to mind her own damn business and if she doesn't like what she finds, she shouldn't snoop.

Re: Sexting

[th0rns_n_r0ses]

Sexting didn't become a thing until after I was married, so I've never had the issue of worrying about whether an ex would use it to blackmail me or something. But I do sext my husband on a regular basis. I think it can be a fun part of a healthy relationship, and is a perfectly fine thing for consenting adults to take part in.

And while I feel your mother is coming from a place of "My baby, I have to protect her/him!", I also think she way overstepped her bounds. Your phone that you pay for, and you don't live with her? Absolutely none of her business.

Re: Sexting

[herpymcderp]

Depends. Just text? Go for it. Sending naked photos of yourself?

Hahahahahahah those are all going on the internet when you break up. I'll enjoy your tits next time I'm browsing 4chan though, so thanks for that.

Re: Sexting

[dethtoll]

You're kind of a shithead, aren't you?

Re: Sexting

[(Anonymous)]

So you don't care where the naked pics come from you will enjoy it if it's there? That's a really messed up way of operating.

Re: Sexting

[(Anonymous)]

This. I think it's dumb as fuck to take naked photos of yourself for exactly that reason. All it takes is one pissed-off ex or one hacker and bam, your nudes are plastered all over the net for the world to see.

Re: Sexting

[honk]

are u the same herpymcderp from epicmaf cuz wtf

Re: Sexting

[elaminator]

Your mom is overstepping some major boundaries and has no right to look at your phone. I get why it would be awkward if she mentions those pictures to your family, but you're an adult and can do what you want, and you having sex shouldn't surprise them. It isn't their business anyway.

However, I will say that I think it's best to keep to text just because there's so many ways pictures (or video) can go wrong. (If you go through an ugly breakup or someone steals your phone, etc.) Again though, you know the risk you take, so just try to be safe. (And good luck!)

Re: Sexting

[cassandraoftroy]

That's a really good point about someone stealing your phone. OP may be completely right in trusting their boyfriend, but if their phone (or the boyfriend's phone) gets lost or stolen, those nude photos are now in the hands of some stranger.

I really hope OP tells their mother to back the fuck off, though. That shit's not okay.

Embarrassing, maybe. Shame? No.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think there's anything wrong with sexting or naked pics. I would never join in on either but that's only due to my own paranoia and self esteem issues.

Your mom is nuts. I'm sorry about that.

And you know what? Even if you guys break up or something horrible happens and your pics or sexts end up public, you still should never be ashamed of that. There is absolutely nothing shameful about the naked body or sex, and anyone who tries to shame you is an asshole.

Re: Sexting

[(Anonymous)]

Sexting is fine, I think. I've done it before. I think a lot of people have done it. But as for sending nudes or half-nude pictures, I wouldn't do that at all. Just because if the relationship goes south, there's some easy revenge right there.

Re: Sexting

[honk]

i sext all the time, texts & pictures. i only send pictures to friends that i trust tho

text sexting is even less of a big deal and idc about it "backfiring" bc it never has. like at worst i've had people imply i'm a whore and it's like wow i'm sexual and have lots of sex thanks for the compliment dude

if anything sexting has made me trust some people even more tbh. and sexting is a good option for when there's distance between you and ppl you wanna fuq & lbr i like knowing i can jerk my friends off wherever they are

Re: Sexting

[(Anonymous)]

Sexting will always come back to haunt you for as long as the internet and phones exist, and for as long as you seek to be involved in the job market, community, society, etc.

And then you turn 70.

At which age you'll look back and go, "DAMN I had some awesome tits!"

In all seriousness, this exchange of naked photos between two lovers is great for as long as the relationship is. When you're young and enjoying yourselves, it's going to be awesome. If the relationship goes sour, you'll always have those photos of each other, available to the public with just a couple of clicks/taps/etc. If you're lucky, "revenge porn" won't even cross anyone's mind.

IMO you should never involve technology when it comes to anything that can be used as blackmail, even if things are going well and you have reason to believe it'll stay that way.

Re: Sexting

[(Anonymous)]

IMO you should never involve technology when it comes to anything that can be used as blackmail, even if things are going well and you have reason to believe it'll stay that way.

This is good all-around advice. Everyone needs to realize that a) you should never use technology to say or do anything you wouldn't want ending up on the internet, and b) once something is on the internet, good luck getting rid of it.

Also, yes, employers can and do Google people. My general rule of thumb is that if I don't want my parents seeing it, I don't e-mail or text it. Hasn't steered me wrong yet.

Re: Sexting

[(Anonymous)]

IDG her logic. She snoops through your cell phone queue, discovers something she thinks is going to ruin your life if it got out...and her way of dealing with this is to threaten to tell everybody?