[ SECRET POST #2615 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2615 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 074 secrets from Secret Submission Post #374.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

OP, did you ever consider the possibility that you just don't have time anymore, and when you do get time, you're far too exhausted from living your happy, balanced life, to want to escape it? Or at least actively engage in escapism that requires energy you just don't have left? IDK I could be talking out my... hat, we'll go with hat... but it's a theory of mine.

[lauramcewan]

This pretty much describes me. I am a busy mom of three. When I worked part-time, I had much more time to write, to be able to think about a story and put in the time to get it on paper. Three years ago, I went to full-time and I actually had to ask myself if it would be worth losing my creativity time and energy. (Given the debt we're STILL in, yes...I had to take the full-time work.) I did resent the lost time at first but now I'm far more resigned to it, happy when I have the energy and time in the evening to podfic or even just read. I have written a handful of stories since going to full time work, and all are like pulling teeth now. It's like I have to force it out instead of being able to have a drink, light a candle, and spend an entire afternoon playing in another world. Now it's two hours in an evening if I'm lucky and then I'm completely shot and must go to bed. Podfic has been my saving grace - I don't have to think up the story, I just read it, and I'm loving having found a new outlet. But it's not the same.

My kids are all teens now and handle more on their own...but I still feel like I put some part of me out on the curb with a "full-time worker, creativity free to good home" sign attached.

[sweetjamielee]

I resonate with this. About 2 years ago I had a baby, and about 5 months after that started my first (very intellectually and emotionally challenging) full-time job in my chosen professional career. While I am still interested in fandom/fic and hold onto shreds of that part of my life when I can, there is just next to no time and even less energy for it. Sometimes I'll have moments of "I could write right now, I guess," but plumbing the creative well sounds so hard and I usually just end up doing something more passive instead. I love my job and my kid and do not regret having those being the things that take up my mental and emotional space, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel bereft at the loss of my fandom self.

[(Anonymous)]

My mother and I had a huge argument the other day, she claims that I'm not happy with my current job. (Office worker for my father) And she wants me to see a career counselor (Plus a few other things) so that I will find something that will "make me happy". And then, I got to have a rational talk with my father over the fact that being creative and the type of stuff that makes me happy takes energy and working forty hours for him doesn't give me energy to do the creative stuff I'd need to do to put me in a career that would "Make me happy." Creative energy comes from your heart. And I've been having heart troubles so all my heart energy is going into healing, which doesn't leave a lot left over for anything else other than working and sometimes not even that.

The other kicker is, a job isn't going to make me happy. Only ME can make me happy, everything else is external. I have taken responsibility for myself for my happiness and my health. No job or other person or anything else is going to change that.

So, long story, I'm agreeing with previous commenter. When you invest your heart energy into having a solid so called 'real' life, you don't always have energy left over for writing and that's okay. Sad, because I'm sure people miss you and you miss them, but it is okay. Now, if you consider writing part of having a solid life, then you'll need to shift your energies a bit. There is nothing wrong with taking an hour away for yourself and doing something you enjoy. The 'real world' will still be there when you get back. Promise!

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT. I really like this comment. <3

[(Anonymous)]

I almost agree with you, except circumstances at work can make it more or less difficult for you to be happy, since a full-time job occupies half of your time and energy. So without even entering the realm of dream job that fulfills you, having crappy colleagues, or a shitty boss, or other work conditions that drain your energy even more is not going to help.

[(Anonymous)]

Makes sense to me - when I got into a long-term relationship (with another geek), I wrote a lot less simply because I was spending more time with my partner and talking to them about fandom instead of posting about it or posting fic. It eventually settled down but I have never again written as much as when I lived alone. And fair enough, a relationship takes time and I like spending time with my partner! 16 years now!