[ SECRET POST #2652 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2652 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 041 secrets from Secret Submission Post #379.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Vent

[(Anonymous)]

Right now I really really hate being asexual. I've never really cared about sex or dating or traditional romance but I would still like to find someone to "grow old together" with. I want a partner and I want to be in love and be loved. But it seems that whenever the topic of sex and my disinterest in it comes up people just automatically dismiss me. I understand that for a sexual person sex is a big part of a relationship, but understanding doesn't make it less frustrating and depressing on my end. And I am just so frustrated and sad and tired of being alone.

/vent

Now it's your turn!

Re: Vent

[diet_poison]

Do you have forums where you can meet other asexual people who want romance?

Uh, as for a vent, I usually have some but actually nothing is really pissing me off right now. Except my chronic inability to make myself wake up and the resulting impending failure of one of my classes. I want to vent at my brain and body for sticking me with that bullshit. >:C

Re: Vent

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

ayrt
To be honest a lot of the asexual forums I've been on are full of people I do not ever want to meet. I kind of hate the whole asexual culture online. I use the label as a helpful shortcut but don't think it's like a defining part of my identity and personality, which is opposite of the attitude a lot of asexual forums and communities seem to have.

And to make matters more complicated, I don't particularly hate sex (theoretically, since I've never actually had sex) I simply have no interest and do not want to participate. However, I would never 100% rule it out of a relationship. I just could never 100% guarantee it would be something in the relationship either. So I wouldn't mind dating a sexual person, it just seems like everyone wants a guarantee that I'll have sex with them or be interested in sex and if I can't give them that they bail.

Re: Vent

[(Anonymous)]

I too am an asexual. I don't have any particularly strong romantic inclinations, but I really, really want to wake up some days hugging someone, both of us wearing adorable and slightly too big pjs.

Re: Vent

[(Anonymous)]

Bah! That sounds perfect and adorable. Normally I think the idea of sleeping with someone in the same bed seems...crowded? Generally uncomfortable? But nope, I want that. Slightly too big pjs and all.

Re: Vent

[(Anonymous)]

The harder-to-please someone is, the more desperately I find myself craving their approval. I hate it, I hate myself for it, and I just hate living, dammit. /wellthatescalatedquickly

Re: Vent

[(Anonymous)]

Please don't hate yourself, anon. :(

You're worth so much more than people's approval.

And there's so many wonderful things to living. Sometimes when you're in a down phase you don't always see or remember those good things, but they're always there.

Re: Vent

[(Anonymous)]

Have you tried making a profile on an asexual dating site? I understand why people are wary of online dating but statistically asexuals make up a fairly small minority (not to mention that not many people irl even understand it or are aware that it exists) so it might be your best bet for meeting someone who wants the same things out of a relationship that you do

Re: Vent

[badass_tiger]

I skipped my exams to go to DC last week and now one of my lecturers wants me to take his paper. Now. During the holidays. My college is two hours away. I know he's only doing it because he thinks it's for my own good but damn I hate him today.

I kind of sympathise with you, anon. I don't really want a romantic partner because that would probably require being in close proximity with somebody most of the time and I'm a very me-centric person, but I do want a platonic friend who wouldn't mind being dragged all over the country all the time to do stuff with me. I already have some really great friends but they all live in the next continent and I want someone who lives within driving distance at least.

Re: Vent

[diet_poison]

OT, but how was your trip? I remember you talking about it a while ago when you were still planning it!

Re: Vent

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry for what you are going through, anon. It's a difficult situation, but there are people out there who want the same sort of relationship that you do. I hope that you find one of them soon. :)

For my own rant, why is it that people think that they fact that they are entitled to their own opinion think that this means that no one can express disagreement with them? It's like, okay...so you have the right to state your opinion, but then no one has the right to state their opinion on the same topic? The second an opinion leaves someone's lips, it nullifies the rights of every single other person within hearing/reading range?

I just wanna exclaim, "get over yourself, you insecure, self-centered moron!"

Re: Vent

[(Anonymous)]

That sucks, anon, but at least you won't feel obligated to do something you don't want to with your partner. Are there any dating sites or chat boards asexuals can meet on?

Re: Vent

[feotakahari]

There's AVEN, but I wouldn't recommend it. Because it's a place defined around lack of sexual attraction, they've built up sexual attraction into a sort of mythical monstrosity. It's like they don't think people with sex drives are capable of self-control. It winds up being really isolating in reference to any sexual people you live or work around.

Re: Vent

[(Anonymous)]

Another ace, and people who aren't bothered by it do exist. I've known a few... They can just be hard to find sometimes. But personally, I'd rather find someone whose a good friend to spend my life with but... Well. I'm weird.

Re: Vent

[(Anonymous)]

Right now, I really hate being bisexual & a Christian.

Whoever said being bisexual doubles your chances for a date on Friday night clearly wasn't bisexual.

First, you need to rule out all the creepy guys who are just interested in a threesome.
Then, you need to rule out all the ladies who are straight. AND all the ladies who AREN'T straight who don't want to date you because bisexuals are cheating scum.

And THEN you mention, oh, by the way, I'm also a Christian. The room goes dead silent.
Then several other Christians stand up and point their fingers at you. "YOU'RE NOT A REAL CHRISTIAN! GET OUT!"
And then the atheists go: "YOU'RE NOT A REAL CHRISTIAN! GET OUT!"

And then you just decide to sit at home and eat ice cream and watch Legally Blonde for the sixteenth time because dating is hard.

Re: Vent

[dethtoll]

If that last bit is about yesterday I apologize if I was a bigger asshole than usual.

Re: Vent

[(Anonymous)]

I sympathise anon. Dating is hard, I've found the same thing after coming out of a long term relationship. Most non -straight girls lose interest as soon as I say that my longest relationship was with a guy.

(even though I've never been unfaithful myself)

I now have no idea how to get into the dating scene either, since its been 7 years since I last dated. /Rant

Re: Vent

[herpymcderp]

Aww anon. For what it's worth I know I wouldn't mind a relationship with an asexual person as long as I was allowed to go out and seek sex elsewhere if I wanted it. I have a very thorough separation of sex and love though, and I don't know if that's a mode of thought that's compatible with you or incompatible.... but there are definitely a lot of people who do have it.

I don't know if it's a thing you'd be into, but a lot of polyamorous people have different ways of thinking about sex and love. Might be worth lurking those circles to see if something sparks your interest.

Re: Vent

[feotakahari]

I'm starting to think my tendency to take situations as normal is seriously unhealthy.

This was actually something that was first pointed out to me when I was really sick. I couldn't eat a bag of Doritos without hurting my insides pretty badly, and I blamed myself for it and told the doctor it was my fault for eating it. She told me I shouldn't HAVE to be so sick I couldn't eat what I wanted, and that idea seemed like a revelation to me--being sick was just the natural order of things before that.

Now I'm on immunosuppressants, and my body is very vulnerable. If my sleep schedule is disrupted for more than two days, I WILL get a cold. I stopped staying up late on weekends, because I was getting colds as often as two Mondays a month, and I took that as a natural part of being me.

Now I'm only a schedule where I have to get up at 6 in the morning, and I haven't adjusted well at all. I tried my best to fall asleep at the right time, but I couldn't, so I wound up sleeping weird hours and getting a cold. I instinctively berated myself for not being able to fall asleep at the right time, and then I thought "Seriously? I tried everything I could think of. Why is this my fault?" And then I realized how weird it was for someone my age to be so rigidly forced to sleep the same hours every day.

I'm gonna talk to my doctor soon. There has to be something I can do. I can't keep treating this as normal.

Re: Vent

[(Anonymous)]

I finally watched Frozen just so I could see what all the fuss was about, didn't hate it, didn't love it, thought it could have really benefited from some better character animation and the script being run through about three more drafts. Went to catch up on what people were saying about it/fanworks and things...

Holy crap, I have never wanted to punt an entire group of people into deep space as much as I do now. Even the people I ostensibly agree with all seem to have turned into frothing idiots. I haven't seen such a polarising and brain-negating fandom and hatedom since Twilight. Enough screeching about the problems and nitpicking tiny animation flaws, enough screaming about how Elsa is the Ice Messiah of whatever mental illness you want her to symbolise, Let It Go is fucking not a brave anthem of whatever, it's entirely hollow and ironic and definitely does not count as character development when the character singing it then learns nothing from it and goes back to exactly what she was doing before for the rest of the movie, she's also not the devil for running away when she thought it was the only way to protect the people around her and I swear I will punch you if you say one more word about how selfish she was, Anna was about as 'quirky' and 'relatable' as Jennifer Lawrence and that's not a compliment, shut the fuck up pissing and moaning about the trolls, I want to shove each and every damn one of you into a volcano.

Re: Vent

[(Anonymous)]

Haha, I'm just plain tired of hearing about it.

Re: Vent

[(Anonymous)]

sa

And, uh, I'm sorry about your woes, and for jumping in with a rant that is completely unrelated. Fwiw, I was crushing on this girl before I found out she was ace, and while I'll admit my initial reaction was 'oh no', a few minutes' thinking made me realise that if she only ever wanted to cuddle, I would be perfectly fine with that so long as I got to be the one cuddling with her. So. Y'know. It's not as bleak as it might seem.

Re: Vent

[(Anonymous)]

I envy asexuals. I have very strong sexual desires but I'm a very ugly straight woman and the only two boyfriends I ever had were an abusive jerk and a gay guy who hadn't really come to terms with who he was.

Re: Vent

[(Anonymous)]

I think there are downsides to every orientation. A "grass is always greener" situation.