[ SECRET POST #2686 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2686 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 059 secrets from Secret Submission Post #384.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

10. http://i.imgur.com/HWTCYYt.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

I think people have felt that way about any 'forbidden' relationship- since you specifically mention the prejudices gay couples face- since the dawn of time. The more obstacles the pair has to go through in order to be together, the purer and stronger the love seems. Somehow idt the true love of Larry the middle-aged accountant on his shirt and Tom the balding used furniture salesman in 2014 who are legally married and comfortable and happy is going to inspire you as much.

[(Anonymous)]

*with coffee stains on his shirt

idk how that got erased

[solticisekf]

I think you nailed it with the obstacles aspect. Though presumably in Star Trek sex or race shouldn't be a problem anymore.

[feotakahari]

Was there something not meaningful or not reciprocal about the relationships you've had? (I can think of at least three different ways you could answer that, and they all require different responses.)

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP, but if she hasn't been in any actual relationships, well, it's not like a relationship between a man and a woman is supposed to be reciprocal, except maybe in a "You give me sex and do my housework, and I'll grudgingly let you live here even though you're an annoying drag" type of way. But it's "emasculating" or whatever for the guy to give anything other than MAYBE money and shelter to the woman. The commitment itself (even if they both commit to each other) is what she "gets."

And besides, most of the time it sounds like not only are men supposed to mostly like you for your body/looks, everything else is actually a minus. Like, your personality is a negative trait. That's can be somewhat crushing to a person's self esteem.

[seventh_seal]

Nah, the number of penises in a loving relationship is irrelevant to its quality.

[(Anonymous)]

I actually think you might have a point in a way, assuming you are straight? I've felt and also had straight friends of both genders say that it actually must be easier to have an emotional connection with someone of the same gender, I've had those discussions where we've said that we feel there's not much we can do, not being attracted to the same gender sexually at all, but we feel frustrated with trying to understand men/women and trying to connect.

Also the forbidden relationship does have appeal.

[(Anonymous)]

this!!!

[kallanda_lee]

You can definitely have m/f relationship with a strong "best friend" or "buddy" factor, tough. But a lot of people don't actually want that, from what I've found.

[grausam]

eh, I kinda have that issue with thinking every fictional homosexual feels "deeper" than het. It's entirely because I don't have to bother with subverting/dealing with gender stereotypical baggage as much- it automatically feels "more equal" and therefore more respectful and meaningful.

Add to that internalized sexism and glorified male friendships and there you go. Or is the stuff you enjoy especially heavy on the forbidden relationship front?

[elaminator]

I think love is love and gender doesn't really have anything to do with how real or deep your love or relationship is. I do get the allure of different types of relationships (what everyone is saying about forbidden romances) but... It kind of sounds like you just have a thing for fictional relationships (And you like slash, so those are the ones you look too). Real life relationships are often not as dramatic or ~fantastical~.

So maybe the way love and friendship are portrayed in media appeals to you in a way none of your RL relationships have? (Maybe you expect something different?)

Idk.

[(Anonymous)]

Sooo...it's only gay men that can have these pure and wonderful relationships? Lesbians can't because they're women?

[(Anonymous)]

I started writing het because I was tired of hearing people say they prefer slash because it depicts 'a relationship of equals', and het doesn't.

Now I can say, "Yes, mine does!"

[(Anonymous)]

IIRC, that was pretty much how gay men of certain eras defended themselves: Women were vapid and shallow and stupid, and a man could only know true love with an intellectual equal. I'm pretty sure Wilde at least followed that logic.

[(Anonymous)]

Don't worry OP, I feel the same way. I see so many great bromances in movies and books and I never see that kind of bond between to females or a male/female. Sure, there are good platonic relationships... but it's not the same feeling as with a bromance.

It's like you can tease a male/male relationship without it being taken as romance, like have them being really close but nothing sexual and nobody would assume anything... it's just the perks of bromance. But you can't do the same with male/female because it's immediately taken as actual romance.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm utterly baffled by all the people agreeing with OP.

[fleshisyummy]

I feel like the OP doesn't know any gay dudes irl, lol. Trust me, they have the same fucking issues that straight couples have.

[ibbity]

Ha, I get uneasy feelings of wondering if it's actually possible for a het couple to ever be as truly equal as That Awesome Perfect Slash Pairing. I get this way with male friendship stories, too, and not just fic but basically anything I read that has strong emotional bonds of some kind between two men. I don't feel that way about fictional relationships between women, maybe because I AM a woman and so I'm familiar with many different kinds of relationships that women involve themselves in. But really strong and well-portrayed relationships between men always leave me feeling a little worried that traditional gender roles might just creep in before I knew it.

[diet_poison]

I have to wonder if there is some internalized misogyny here. I'm almost hesitant to say that since nobody else has, and it may or may not be true, but I did get that vibe.

[(Anonymous)]

I get that, although for me it applies to f/f relationships too. Of course people are individuals but there's still this feeling like there's a level of understanding and equality in same sex relationships that just isn't there in opposite sex ones. And being straight, I do get the feeling that I'll never be able to experience that and it kind of makes me sad.

[(Anonymous)]

I think a lot of fictional relationships have that quality, though, because they're set in a time that's challenging, and there's some great obstacle that makes them prove their love or whatever, and because the author wants to idealize love in general. Most couples (of any parameter) don't save each others' lives and have meaningful speeches- they sit around eating Doritos and watching Game of Thrones and arguing about whose turn is it to take out the trash. Fictional relationships are often idealized because real-life happy, established ones often make boring reading :)

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, but that perfect understanding that men have in slash is fictional. In real life, men aren't actually that good at bonding with each other. Straight men usually rely on women for their emotional relationships. Women (the primary authors of slash) are much better at same-sex (non-sexual) bonds than men are.

[gabzillaz]

what

[(Anonymous)]

It's funny how both fangirls and fanboys have this vein of self loathing. It's like this is an inverse 4chan post.

>you will never have pure gay love
>you will never shed manly tears after a lifetime of repressed feelings