[ SECRET POST #2707 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2707 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 066 secrets from Secret Submission Post #387.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 (also a repeat x 3) - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Need advice? Want to argue about some political opinion? Just want to share a fun fact/event?

[(Anonymous)]

COME ON DOWN!!!!!!!!!

Re: Need advice? Want to argue about some political opinion? Just want to share a fun fact/event?

[(Anonymous)]

Fun fact: I'm so bored it's a struggle to stay awake but if I fall asleep I'll wake up in the middle of the night all groggy and I want to have a normal sleep schedule.

Re: Need advice? Want to argue about some political opinion? Just want to share a fun fact/event?

[kaijinscendre]

/high five Me too! And, we had dinner super early so I am full as well. Warm, and full, and sleepy. But I must not sleep.

help I need books with happy endings

[dreemyweird]

The Monstrumologist broke me a little and now I desperately need something with a happy ending. It must contain friendship, the more epic the better. It would be swell if it were a mentor&student friendship, but that's not mandatory.

The rest of it can be as angsty as it gets (in fact, I love angst), but it must not end on a "and everyone died a horrible death" note.

Re: help I need books with happy endings

[kaijinscendre]

The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Man...going through my Goodreads list, I do not read many happy books....

Re: help I need books with happy endings

[(Anonymous)]

Bridge of Birds! I can upload an epub if you can't find it otherwise. All the mentor/student you can ask for and then some.

Here's what you can expect (very long extract! Sorry if I'm not supposed to do this but I keep feeling like it would be a shame to leave any of it out.):

[From Chapter 11.]


“Have a drink, and a tale I will thee tell,” he said.

I sipped and choked on the fiery liquid. Li Kao reclaimed the flask and swallowed about a pint.

“It was a dark and stormy night,” he said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “A cold wind howled, and lightning flickered across the sky like the tongues of snakes, and thunder roared like dragons, and rain fell in torrents. Piercing through the gale came the sound of wheels and hoofbeats, followed by the most dreaded sound in all China: the high-pitched hunting horns of the soldiers of the Duke of Ch’in.”

This time I choked without benefit of wine, and Li Kao pounded my back in a kindly fashion.

“A mule was pulling a buggy down a mountain path at a suicidal rate, and a man and a woman were bouncing upon the seat,” he said. “The woman was nine months pregnant, and she clutched a large burlap bag while the man wielded a buggy whip. Once more the terrible horns sounded behind them, and then a volley of arrows shot into the night. The mule staggered and fell, and the buggy crashed into a ditch. Apparently the soldiers were after the bag that the woman carried, because the man tried to take it from her so that the soldiers would attack him while she escaped, but the woman was equally brave and refused to relinquish the bag, and they were tugging back and forth when the second volley of arrows reached them. The man fell back mortally wounded, and the woman staggered away with the shaft of an arrow protruding from beneath her left shoulder blade, and the rain mercifully covered the small determined figure as she crawled up the winding path that led to the Monastery of Sh’u.”

Master Li hoisted the flask and drank thirstily. I had no idea why he was telling me the story, but at least he was taking my mind off my troubles.

“The arrow was her passport,” he said. “It was stamped with the tiger emblem of the Duke of Ch’in, and the Monastery of Sh’u hated the Duke of Ch’in. They did all they could for her, and with the first faint light of dawn the tiny wail of a newborn babe lifted above the walls. The abbot and the midwife had worked a small miracle to save the child, but nothing could be done for the mother.

“‘Brave Soul,’ the abbot whispered, wiping the sweat from her fevered brow. ‘Brave rebel against the evil Duke of Ch’in.’

“The midwife lifted the wailing child. ‘A thousand blessings, my lady, for you have given birth to a healthy son!’ she said.

“The dying woman’s nostrils twitched, and she opened her eyes. With an immense effort she lifted a hand and pointed to the midwife.
“‘Kao,’ she panted. ‘Li…Li…Li…Kao….’”

I jerked up my head and looked wide-eyed at Master Li, who winked at me.
“Tears blurred the abbot’s eyes. ‘I hear, my daughter,’ he sniffled. ‘Your son shall be named Li Kao.’

“‘Kao!’ the woman gasped. ‘Li…Li…Li…Kao….’

“‘I understand, my daughter,’ the abbot sobbed. ‘I shall raise Li Kao as my own son, and I shall place his tiny feet upon the True Path. He shall be instructed in the Five Virtues and Excellent Doctrines, and at the end of his blameless life his spirit shall surely pass through the Gates of the Great Void into the Blessed Regions of Purified Semblance.’”

Master Li swallowed another pint and offered me another sip, which produced the same choking result.

“The woman’s eyes blazed with a strong emotion that strangely resembled fury,” he said, “but her strength was spent. Her eyes closed, and her hand fell limply to her side, and her soul departed to the Yellow Springs Beneath the Earth. The midwife was greatly moved, and when she whipped a small goatskin flask from her robe and drank deeply, the smell of the stuff brought a cold chill to the abbot’s heart. That revolting odor could only come from the finest paint remover and worst wine ever invented: Kao-liang. Repeat: Kao-liang. Was it possible that the dying woman had not been naming a baby but demanding a snort? It was indeed possible, and it further developed that she had not been pursued by the duke’s soldiers because she was an heroic rebel, but because she and her husband had stolen the regimental payroll. My parents were the most notorious crooks in China, and my mother could have escaped quite easily if she had not tried to battle my father for the loot.”

Master Li shook his head wonderingly.

“Ox, heredity is a remarkable thing. I never knew my parents, yet at the tender age of five I stole the abbot’s silver belt buckle. When I was six I made off with his jade ink stone. On my eighth birthday I stole the gold tassels from the abbot’s best hat, and I still take pride in the feat because he happened to be wearing the hat at the time. When I was eleven I exchanged the abbot’s bronze incense burners for a couple of jars of wine and got royally drunk in the Alley of Flies, and at thirteen I borrowed his silver candlesticks and tiptoed into the Alley of Four Hundred Forbidden Delights. Youth!” cried Master Li. “How sweet yet sadly swift pass the halcyon days of our innocence.”

He buried his nose in his wine flask again, and burped comfortably.
“The abbot of the Monastery of Sh’u was truly heroic,” he said. “He had vowed to raise me as his own, and he kept his word, and so well did he pound an education into my head that I eventually did quite well in my chin-shih examination. When I left the monastery, it was not in pursuit of scholarship, however, but in pursuit of an unparalleled career in crime. It was quite a shock for me to discover that crime was so easy that it was boring. I reluctantly turned to scholarship, and by the accident of handing in some good papers I was entombed in the Forest of Culture Academy as a research fellow, and I escaped from that morgue by bribing the court eunuchs to get me an appointment as a military strategist. I managed to lose a few battles in the approved manner, and then I became one of the emperor’s wandering persuaders, and then Governor of Yu, and it was in the last occupation that the light finally dawned. I was trying to get enough evidence to hang the loathsome Dog-Meat General of Wu-san, but he was so slippery that I couldn’t prove a thing. Fortunately the Yellow River was flooding again, and I managed to convince the priests that the only way to appease the river god was through the custom of the ancients. So the Dog-Meat General disappeared beneath the waves tied to a gray horse—I was sorry about the horse, but it was the custom—and I tendered my resignation. Solving crime, I had belatedly discovered, was at least a hundred times more difficult than committing it, so I hung the sign of a half-closed eye above my door and I have never regretted it. I might add that I have also never left a case half-finished.”

I gulped noisily, and I suppose that the hope in my eyes was shining as brightly as the moon.

“Why do you think I’ve been telling you this?” said Master Li. “I have a very good reason to be angry at the Duke of Ch’in, since one of his ancestors killed my parents, and if nothing else, my various careers have uniquely prepared me for the task of stealing ginseng roots.”
He patted my shoulder.

“Besides, I’d take you for a great-grandson any day,” he said. “I would never dream of allowing you to go out on your own to be slaughtered. Get some sleep, and we’ll leave at dawn.”

Tears blurred my eyes. Master Li called to the dogs and crawled from the cave, and they gamboled happily around him as he danced down the path toward the monastery, waving his wine flask.

Re: Need advice? Want to argue about some political opinion? Just want to share a fun fact/event?

[kaijinscendre]

I made a Band of Brothers gifset with facts from the IMDB trivia page. It was actually really fun but I don't know what movie (the ones that I have downloaded) to do it for next. I don't feel like downloading anything new but I am too indecisive. *sigh*

Re: Need advice? Want to argue about some political opinion? Just want to share a fun fact/event?

[dreemyweird]

I know this feeling and I hate it. Being the sole mod of a fannish blog, every time I open my .avis I start going all "should I gif this scene?? Or that? Oh, wait, that's too boring - I should think of something new - maybe gif a theme - *makes a ton of random gifs* - oh, well."

Re: Need advice? Want to argue about some political opinion? Just want to share a fun fact/event?

[kaleidoscope]

I don't like videos (short attention span and my computer hates them too with the fan turning on high) but I'd be really interested in seeing the giftset!

Making up alien biology is fun, but I'm worried about people being skeeved out by it.

[fingalsanteater]

Especially if I'm stealing it from the animal kingdom because it feels like bestiality to think it's hot...

Also, naming alien body parts is hard.

Re: Making up alien biology is fun, but I'm worried about people being skeeved out by it.

[diet_poison]

what aliens are you biologizing

because really, alien biology is one of the best hobbies~

Re: Making up alien biology is fun, but I'm worried about people being skeeved out by it.

[nyxelestia]

Don't sweat it, dude.

Hell, I used Humon's Mating Habits comics for reference and inspiration when working out ABO biology. :P

Re: Making up alien biology is fun, but I'm worried about people being skeeved out by it.

[(Anonymous)]

I love alien biology in fic. I love it, love it, love it. And I think it's hot. I wish there was more in the Xeno tag on Ao3.

Delicious, delicious alien sex.

I don't often name alien body parts, though. Lots of 'tentacles' and 'phalluses' and whatnots.

Proper way to react when someone misses your point?

[(Anonymous)]

I've had friends start arguments with me when they clearly didn't read my post, and I'm wondering if there's any point in trying to defend myself? Usually when I try, they either just keep arguing the same point (making it clear they're really in it for the argument), or they ignore me, so I'm not sure if they just can't be bothered responding to my elaboration/explanation or if they're too embarrass to say anything.

Of course the easiest thing to do is just defriend them, but I like that to be my last recourse.

Re: Proper way to react when someone misses your point?

[fingalsanteater]

Eh. I usually just ignore it unless it hits one of my berserk buttons.

Re: Proper way to react when someone misses your point?

[(Anonymous)]

If defriending is truly your last resort and you find it impossible to ignore the argumentative responses, you do have the option to stop posting stuff that's liable to start a kerfuffle (or filter it to specific friends, if your preferred platform allows for that.)

Re: Proper way to react when someone misses your point?

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, if they're doing that frequently, you need to call them out on it, absolutely.

Or say, "John (or Jane), you seem to be confused as I wasn't even arguing that point. It seems to be important to you, though. Maybe you should take this up in your own blog/journal/thread and invite discussion there?"

If they are otherwise okay and just get stupid about certain topics, is it possible to filter them from seeing certain posts?

Re: Need advice? Want to argue about some political opinion? Just want to share a fun fact/event?

[(Anonymous)]

Most cat foods suck. I think most of them should go against the pet-FDA, if there is such a thing. It is boggling to me that most people are aware that cats are CARNIVORES, yet still buy food that flat out advertises its grain and vegetable content. Cats need meat, and various nutrients that come from other animal parts. They do not need grains or vegetables. In fact, they shouldn't be eating them at all.

I wish more people would check the ingredients of the cat foods that they buy. If the first couple of ingredients aren't meat, just do not buy it!

Re: Need advice? Want to argue about some political opinion? Just want to share a fun fact/event?

[(Anonymous)]

Yes! Seems like people are starting to figure that out, though, based on all of the new adverts for cat food that doesn't have grains or by-products in it. So that's good.

But yeah. I buy cat food that's a little more expensive, but it's worth it to me, because it has the correct ingredients. I want my pets to live long, healthy lives.

Re: Need advice? Want to argue about some political opinion? Just want to share a fun fact/event?

[diet_poison]

People don't bother learning what makes animals different - I think people honestly project a lot of things (like an omnivorous diet) onto them because hey, that's what feels healthy to us!!

The fox and the hound

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like this must be public knowledge, maybe, but yesterday I watched The Fox and the Hound for the first time in like 20 years and realized I was watching The Winter Soldier. There's the train scene, the brainwashing and the friendship's negation, and there's even the ending with the fall in the water and everything.

Seriously. I may be a little one track lately, but this was spot on, lol.

Re: The fox and the hound

[inkdust]

One night my friend and I watched Thor and then The Prince of Egypt and realized we had watched the same movie twice.

stressful dreams

[ketita]

For the past two nights I have been having surprisingly stressful dreams.
Normally I don't mind action-packed dreams, but for two nights now I spent basically the entire dream fighting various things.
Two nights ago it was these weird monsters coming out of the sea and I was sniping at them with a rifle from inside a barn.
Last night there was... idek, it was some kind of conspiracy and I was holed up in a house with some other people, and we were making weapons. This time it was mines for the front yard, and also makeshift knives.
Not super fun action dreams, tbh.

Either my subconscious is trying to tell me something, or I need to stop reading Captain America before bed.

Re: Need advice? Want to argue about some political opinion? Just want to share a fun fact/event?

[(Anonymous)]

Should I get rid of the benin mole on my face I've had on it forever, yeah or nay? It's like the size of this O and by my nose and little to the left. It's also raised some, but thankfully no hairs grow out of it.

Re: Need advice? Want to argue about some political opinion? Just want to share a fun fact/event?

[(Anonymous)]

I randomly started reading fic for a pairing I was obsessed with 14 years ago and now I can't stop, help help help!

Well, at least these stories I'm reading are way better than the tripe I used to be into.