fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2742 ]

[ SECRET POST #2742 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2742 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 094 secrets from Secret Submission Post #392.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So I now realise I have rather a large crush on my GF's friend.
This is an unwelcome discovery and is going to make my future interactions very weird. Oh why do I have to be such a terrible piece of shit?! Why does GF's Friend have to be so hot? and cute? and Geeky? and generally all around perfect?
Fuck I'm a terrible boyfriend.

Crushed can happen, but it's how we deal with them. If you love your GF, you really have to find ways to block this off asap.

Oh, shit, I know this.
I have no intention of hitting on GF's Friend. Like none at all.
Still, going to be awkward pretending I have no interest.
I'm pretty sure I get obvious and profoundly creepy when I fancy someone.

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-06 22:28 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-06 22:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-06 22:40 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-06 22:43 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-06 23:03 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-07 01:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

diet_poison - 2014-07-07 01:47 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-07 02:05 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-07 03:00 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

diet_poison - 2014-07-07 15:48 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-07 02:00 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

diet_poison - 2014-07-07 01:47 (UTC) - Expand

This.

you're wasting your breath.

Re: Whelp!

kallanda_lee - 2014-07-06 23:13 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-06 23:43 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

kallanda_lee - 2014-07-06 23:51 (UTC) - Expand

Yup. It's awkward, but it happens. No need to feel like the worst person ever over it. As long as you don't act on it (and maybe try to limit your interaction with her or something, if you think it would help?) you'll be okay.

you should go fuck yourself.

What the hell, anon?

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-06 21:43 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-06 21:48 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-06 21:51 (UTC) - Expand

Da

Why? They have a crush and realize it's wrong. It isn't like they got a crush on tgat person on purpose.

Your right, ofcourse. This is kinda a shitbag thing to do / think / be, but you should know I have no intention of acting on it.

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-06 22:13 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-07 12:14 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-07 15:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

diet_poison - 2014-07-07 15:50 (UTC) - Expand

Hmmm, please go on anon, I need to see where you're taking us, and it worries me that I don't 100% know where that somewhere is.

I think it's basically "Oh noes, I have a crush on someone while I'm in a relationship! I'm a horrible person because this happened!" based on what they've said in other comments.

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-06 21:46 (UTC) - Expand

Yeah, no. It's just an "I feel like shit for crushing on someone who is not my partner" type situation.

Where did you think this was going?

Don't cheat on her. If you have any respect and love for your girlfriend, do not give into temptation.

No.
Unfortunately this does not make you a "Terrible boy friend".
Sadly this makes you a run-of-the-mill boy friend.

Or even an average human being. We don't lose our ability to be attracted to others the moment we step into a relationship. It's all to do with how you deal with it.

I've been attracted to people while married, but my husband is my heart and soul. I just force myself to ignore it.

"Why does GF's Friend have to be so hot? and cute? and Geeky? and generally all around perfect?"

You are creepy as fuck. Your girlfriend will be better off without you.

You're really going to have to force yourself to ignore it... which includes stopping telling yourself she's "all-around perfect"

yeah and that's not a good thing to think about anyone anyway...

Re: Whelp!

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-07 03:03 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Whelp!

diet_poison - 2014-07-07 15:51 (UTC) - Expand

You're normal. People don't necessarily stop being attracted to other people just because they're in a relationship. I'd say take her off the pedestal, though (thinking anyone is "all-around perfect" is a damn good indicator you've got them on one).

I'm reading this as a "I'm aware it's a crush and I'm certain I want to stay in my current relationship", but even if you weren't sure about the latter, it'd probably help to put some distance between you and her and minimizing time spent together.

Okay. First thing you can do to get rid of your crush - remind yourself that GF's friend is DEFINITELY not perfect. No one is.

Think of like... the worst thing ever. An opinion or something that would be a dealbreaker for you. IDK, like neo-nazis or something. Now imagine GF's Friend spouting that opinion or going to rallies or whatever.

All I know is, the majority of my crushes on people faded when I actually got to know them better, and realized some parts of their personality weren't as shiny as I thought. Even people who are physically attractive can magically become ugly when it's revealed they did shitty things.

I'm agreeing with the anon above who said you're coming off creepy as fuck, bro. It's one thing to think another girl is hot. It's a whole different thing to call this other girl who isn't your girlfriend "all around perfect". Do you and your girlfriend a favor and break up with your girlfriend. It would give you time to clear your head and take your girlfriend's friends off the pedestal and it will give your girlfriend what she really deserves.

You're being part of a betrayal that's a lot more harmful than just sticking your dick in something. It's called emotional cheating, which will eventually cause a lot of resentment for you and your girlfriend if you don't end things now. If you don't think it's a big deal, try to imagine if your girlfriend was thinking these things about some other guy than yourself who she could conveniently get to.

it's not wrong to crush on people when you're dating but holy hell the way you've worded everything makes you sound like a creep.

you threw in a rather insincere self-depreciating, "why do I have to be such a piece of shit?" and then followed it with creepy descriptions of this girl as being hot and cute and "all around perfect"– ayyy protip: it's not her 'fault' that she's attractive and a nice person. blaming women for your attraction is creepy, even if it's done in a 'joking' manner.

and frankly the way you've worded it comes off as a plea for backpats that this is normal and you're fine, rather than actual advice. limit your interactions with her if you feel you have to, and for god's sake stop thinking about how 'perfect' girls who aren't your gf are, that pedestal worship is not cute.

don't want to bring MRA back, but am I the only one who feels like the more hostile (or at least frosty) comments have more to do with OP's genitals than the post itself?

I dont think it just that hes a dude, but I do think the comments would be a lot more supportive, and a lot less 'you're a creepy fuck' if the gender pronouns were reversed.