fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2831 ]

[ SECRET POST #2831 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2831 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[The Great British Bake Off]

__________________________________________________

02.

[Trailer Park Boys]

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

[Gotham, Ugly Betty]

__________________________________________________

06.

[Outlander]

__________________________________________________

07.

[Short Circuit]

__________________________________________________

08.

[Agents of SHIELD]

__________________________________________________

09.

[Are You Being Served?]

__________________________________________________

10.

[Avengers]

__________________________________________________

11.

[Gotham]

__________________________________________________

12.

__________________________________________________

13.

__________________________________________________

14.

__________________________________________________

15. [ SPOILERS for Valiant Hearts; The Great War ]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #404.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I see nothing wrong with this. It's actually a good idea imo, because it's such a normal thing to do if you want to know more about a person by asking about their interests, even irl. I guess it'd be one thing to pretend to be the biggest fan of their stuff (or let's say, feign great knowledge in a subject you know nothing about), but meh.

It comes off as douche because the OP seems to have a lot of contempt for both the stories and characters they pretend an interest in, and the people who are so easily taken in by their pretended interest.

Contempt
Maybe they do, but I ain't getting that kind of read from it. You really make it sound like this is some intense con job, when it's really just conversation and moving on to other topics after inviting someone to open up.

Whatever floats your boat; that's just the vibe it gives off to me: "tee-hee, they think I'm actually interested in their shitty OCs!"

Alright, fess up, who broke your OC's heart. Let's go beat them up.

huh?

Nothing nothing. Just implying you're taking it personally.
Because really, is someone being more interested in you over your work a negative?

Your first resort when someone doesn't immediately agree with you is patronizing comments like "who dissed your OC?" and the ever-popular "you seem to be taking this personally"...and you think I'm overly invested?

Ooooookay.

(no subject)

cloud_riven - 2014-10-04 01:08 (UTC) - Expand

DA

It is when they're being dishonest about it, because then how am I supposed to trust that they're even interested in me as a friend when our very first conversation starts off on a false pretense? Don't ask me SPECIFICALLY to talk about things you're not interested in just so you can change the subject. Be direct and ask me about stuff YOU want to talk about. If we hit it off? Great. If not? That means we probably shouldn't have been friends in the first place, so nothing of value is lost.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 01:13 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 01:14 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

cloud_riven - 2014-10-04 01:34 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 01:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

cloud_riven - 2014-10-04 01:56 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 09:47 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 13:32 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

diet_poison - 2014-10-04 17:00 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 17:04 (UTC) - Expand

DA, but I read it that way too, especially since they included a picture from that Mary-Sue comic thing, I think that makes things pretty clear...

Yes, thank you. The picture is what makes the secret give off that dishonest, condescending "tee-hee" vibe if you know where it's from.

I think it's fine so long as the general disinterest in the original stuff isn't actually dislike. As in, I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who thinks my original stuff is shit, but they're never going to mention it because they want to be buddy-buddy with me in fandom. But I wouldn't care if they weren't particularly interested in my original stuff and just striking up a conversation because they want to be friends, it's no different than asking someone IRL, "hey, what's going on in that book you're reading?" or "hey, I've heard of that band in your t-shirt, you really like them?" Like, you don't need to have a passionate interest in someone's hobbies to use them to open a dialogue.

Even with dislike, I don't see why your friends should be obligated by association to enjoy everything you make. For me, mutual interests and ability to relate to one another is enough for me (friend over fan). Yeah it can be taken a bit personally when it comes to your works, but as long as they're polite enough to not voice their apparent hatred, and not going on some discouraging bent, why shouldn't they be allowed their opinion.

You're missing the point. In the secret-maker's case, it's not even mutual interest; they are starting the friendship specifically by asking about something they don't care about just to get the other person talking. It's manipulative, and I for one don't trust anyone who would start off a friendship that way.

Like I said, I don't require anyone to share my enjoyment, just not hide their annoyance. Like, sometimes my best friend will ask me about a video game I'm currently obsessed with and she knows nothing about, and I'm fully aware she's not asking because she's fascinated with my yammering on about things she doesn't understand, but because she respects my interests, and she knows I appreciate someone to talk to about it. That's what friendship is about. But I would be hurt if she was hiding from me how much she thinks the game sucks, how stupid I am to like it, and that it irritates her to hear about it. I don't consider it polite to encourage me to talk about something you actively dislike without me being aware of the dislike, it's condescending in the worst way.

I figure OP is the former, they don't care one way or another about OCs, but they have no problem discussing them because it gets the other person excited and talking and opens the door to a mutual relationship. Which I think is totally okay.

It seems like one of those things certain types of people do just to have an excuse to resent or complain about their friends. Like the ones who offer a favor then get silently angry when their friend accepts.

Exactly, I hate that shit. Don't encourage it if genuinely bothers you, and, on the other side, don't ignore it when your friend admits something is bothering them. Unspoken judgments and resentments inevitably fester.

Edited (add last sentence) 2014-10-04 01:41 (UTC)

That would explain some things about an ex-friend of mine.

If she was hiding all that negativity, how would you even know? If someone's holding all that in, that's a sad and heavily one-sided friendship, and they've got some pile of issues they need to work out if they're sticking around for no reason other than to hate crush on you for some pretty vapid reason.

It's an actual thing to separate your like of a person with their work. I'm not talking about that celebrity thing people, but actual friendship. If that's still your dealbreaker, at least you know your boundaries and what you're comfortable with.

I wouldn't know, but I trust that she's not. It's entirely possible I'm wrong, but if that was an insecurity I had, I'd discuss it with her. If she kept pushing a lie even then, that would mean I'm friends with a nut, and all I can do is wait for some sign of it (which is usually inevitable, that kind of negativity festers). I'm just saying that it's not okay to be that kind of nut, it's not a healthy relationship, like you said.

I keep repeating that I agree that liking a person and liking their stuff are two separate things, I just don't think it's healthy to actively hate their stuff and still encourage discussion of it. I'm not sure if we're actually disagreeing if you don't think that's healthy, either.

"I keep repeating that I agree that liking a person and liking their stuff are two separate things, I just don't think it's healthy to actively hate their stuff and still encourage discussion of it. I'm not sure if we're actually disagreeing if you don't think that's healthy, either."

Apologies if it seems that I've skimmed over it since I wasn't being clear. It probably depends on what each person is getting out of consistently fake interest, but let's go with malicious and manipulative liar friend; of course not. Are they offering an ear to them whenever that author needs a sounding board? Maybe okay, but rather desperate. Seriously though, I don't think anything in the secret implies an active hatred, nor anything remotely endearing really, which is what everyone seems to be jumping to.

Probably because the majority of people we've encountered who pull this shit are of the manipulative liar variety.

Yeah, I'm sorry if I misinterpreted what you were getting at. I agree, I don't think the secret's implying that, either. Lack of interest isn't the same as being manipulative, nor is it the same as disrespecting someone's work. The relationship won't hinge on the great fiction that OP asked about someone's OCs the first few times they chatted before moving on to other things and establishing a friendship if they find they're compatible.

Why are you being a purposefully obvlious unempathic shit about this? If it was about anything by ocs and original stories would you suddenly care about someone lying that they care about what you are saying?

Do you require a deep and meaningful reason to have a differing opinion these days?

No more no less afaik, unless you want to throw examples at me and see if I'm going to move a goalpost or whatever.