[ SECRET POST #2937 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2937 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 056 secrets from Secret Submission Post #420.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

08. http://i.imgur.com/Xc38RSE.png

[(Anonymous)]

What, have you not been following the x-books at all?

[kallanda_lee]

It seems so - but, I haven't read this. If the "claim" is to start with a new team with no previous knowledge needed, then I do understand the complaint.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know if they ever claimed the new book was supposed to be total clean break with no prior knowledge needed.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm like 99% sure the beginning of most, if not all marvel comicbooks, there's usually a little paragraph on the very first page explaining what's going on and why happened previously.

[(Anonymous)]

THIS. Majorly facepalming my way through this secret.

[insanenoodlyguy]

Yeah, this fucked up. If only it was the only fuckup.

Transcript

[(Anonymous)]

Image: cover of X-Men

Text: I am so fucking angry that Marvel’s first ever all-female X-book turned out to be such a godawful steaming pile of horseshit. FUCK YOU, BRIAN WOOD. FUCK YOU VERY MUCH.

Adjectiveless X- Men, how do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways: shitty writning, bland and unrealistic sounding dialogue, everyone is OOC, boring fight scenes, excessive melodrama (even by X-Men standards!), Kitty and Rogue have major sameface going on (seriously, I could only tell them apart by looking at their hair) … the list goes on. Also, I keep hearing about how the Marvel NOW! Books are such great jumping-off points for new readers, and this really, really isn’t. The last X-Men comic I read before this was from the early 1990s, and when I started the series I had no idea what the fuck was going on half the time BECAUSE NOTHING IS FUCKING EXPLAINED. IT’S JUST ASSUMED THAT YOU ARE ALREADY FAMILIAR WITH THE BACKSTORIES OF A BUNCH OF OBSCURE CHARACTERS. Who the fuck is John Sublime, and what makes him so ~dangerous~? Who the fuck is Karima, and how did she become a brain-damaged cyborg locked up in Hank McCoy’s Lab? Why the fuck is Jubilee a vmpire now, and why didn’t I know this until I looked at the wiki AFTER I finished reading the first TPB? You can’t just throw in a cryptic reference to her not being able to enjoy sun on the beach anymore and expect new readers (or lapsed readers, like me) to understand that SHE’S A VAMPIRE NOW LOL. AT LEAST SHOW HER DRINKING BLOOD OR SOME SHIT. Also, what’s with this bullshit about Ororo and Rachel having spats over the leadership of the team? THEY ARE NOT SCOTT AND LOGAN, FOR FUCKS SAKE, THAT DYNAMIC DOESN’T HAVE TO BE IN EVERY FUCKING TEAM BOOK.

Fuck this, I’m not even gonna bother reading the second TPB to see if it gets better. This guy clearly has no grasp of these characters.

Re: Transcript

[(Anonymous)]

Kudos to you for typing all that, Transcript-Anon.

[intrigueing]

OT, but I would love a parody issue actually titled "Adjectiveless X-Men."

[lb_lee]

Aw man, I thought Brian Wood was generally pretty good?

Also, nooooo Jubilee! How will you mallrat when you're nocturnal! Everything in MA closes after five! D:

[(Anonymous)]

she's sensitive to sunlight, but she wears a special device on her neck that lets her go out, or something.

[lb_lee]

Well, that's kind of disappointing. What's the point of having a vampire character and then removing one of their big weaknesses? (Unless you're going back to old myth and having vamps with weakness for counting rice and running water and shit.)

[dethtoll]

Brian Wood is pretty good, yes. (I enjoy the hell out of DMZ.) No writer is perfect (especially if they're working for the Big Two) but I get the suspicion that OP hasn't really read a lot of comics in a while.

[gabzillaz]

Ugh adjectiveless...

I stopped caring about the x-universe when they fucked up the new x-men. Laura in particular, her having blue eyes now make it easier to ignore what they are doing to her.

[chrys]

Her eyes are still green. They just get eye color wrong quite often, with *all* characters, and it drives me crazy. Just in comics I've read this week, Stark has had three eye colors.

[gabzillaz]

Weird, all the scans I've seen have her with blue eyes.

Man, I miss her :(

[(Anonymous)]

It sounds like Marvel needs another Jim Shooter to reign them in.

Without canceling all the horror and female-led books this time.

[(Anonymous)]

what books did he cancel?

SA

[(Anonymous)]

I'm fuzzy on the timeline, so I don't know if this was Shooter himself. It may have been just before his tenure, or something from the "money men."

But Marvel had Spider-Woman and Ms. Marvel series that were cancelled in the early 1980's, and the next major solo female series they published was She-Hulk, I think when DeFalco was editor-in-chief.

Shooter's era did have the female-majority New Mutants, and women leading both the Avengers and X-Men. And one of Shooter's New Universe titles was Spitfire and the Troubleshooters. He didn't seem averse to strong female characters himself. It's just weird that they didn't have female-led books like they have now. (DC wasn't much better, though.)

Also Tomb of Dracula got cancelled, but that was probably because Len Wein took Marv Wolfman over to DC to do a Teen Titans revival. I think the other horror books (Ghost Rider, Werewolf by Night) just faded out as the fad passed.

So I don't know how much was Shooter, it may have just coincided with his tenure.

I do appreciate his insistence that every issue could be somebody's first, so writers had to exposit a lot. That made a lot of sense in the newsstand, pre-trade-paperback, era.

[(Anonymous)]

You might want to give it another go, starting with this latest issue (#23). It got a new writer, G. Willow Wilson, who has been writing the new Ms. Marvel and she's been great on that book. I haven't read the latest X-Men issue yet, but I'm excited because I also wasn't a fan of Brian Wood.

[(Anonymous)]

...I might read that.

[iggy]

Oooh really? Might have to look back into it. I love her Ms. Marvel.

[lentils]

Yeah, I bought it for...too long, honestly, because I missed these characters a lot (and I'm honestly used to not knowing what's going on in X-books, because that's how I jumped into them after I first saw the X-Men movies in high school - I just went to the library and got whatever X-books they had) and dropped it once I was buying too many comics. But I love Wilson's writing on Ms. Marvel, so I'll check it out, maybe.

[iggy]

Yeah it's definitely not a good jumping in point.

I ended up dropping it because I wasn't super into it, and when I found out how much of a creepy dick Brian Wood is, I had no regrets.