[ SECRET POST #2993 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2993 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 123 secrets from Secret Submission Post #428.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 - pretty sure these are all the same spammer anon trying to win the non-existent "weirdest fandomsecret/sex fantasy" award. There are more I missed, and some that went up yesterday. If one of these is not the same anon, please PM me ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[diet_poison]

Yeah, I got that vibe too.

It's kind of like "screw feminism; I'm an egalitarian!" It often ends up coming from a place of not being comfortable with complete gender equality (for example, still wanting to put everyone into traditional gender roles, even if they're all for sociopolitical equality) and latching onto their idea of feminism as represented by feminist extremists or their perceived version of man-hatin' feminism.

[(Anonymous)]

Is there a word for someone who supports equality between all races though?

I mean, there's the word "feminist" for someone who supports equality between genders. But for races?

What is it?

I kind of got the impression that OP used "egalitarian" for lack of a better word.

[diet_poison]

I don't think there's a word for that. I've never felt a need to use one, anyway. The secret would have been just fine if they'd just left that part off.

[(Anonymous)]

Or from rejecting the idea that women have a position in society that is absolutely worse than that of men.

Which is, I think more and more, the essential kernel of feminism. Accept that, and all else follows; reject it, and feminism seems like nonsense.

[(Anonymous)]

Feminism is about destroying gender "roles" and believing that men and women are equal. Which benefits both men and women.

[(Anonymous)]

well, sure, but I would say that all variants of feminism that I'm aware of, at least, would agree that gender roles and the patriarchal nature of society is relatively more harmful towards women, and more beneficial towards men. Certainly, that seems to be the assumption that underlies most feminist policy and critique.

I'm not really arguing against the principle, even

[(Anonymous)]

It used to be that. These days, feminism has been usurped by the extreme, psychopathic crowd. There is a reason why only 18% of men and 38% of women identify as feminists. Extremists have ruined its image.

[(Anonymous)]

I wouldn't agree that extremists have usurped it.

It certainly has a terrible public image, but I think that it suffers from the same thing that Islam does -- the extremists get all the press. Where as the quiet, sane ones are actually going out and doing good works, living normal lives.

And thus its public image is ruined. But I don't think the answer to that is to throw feminism out. It's important to reclaim the word from extremists which is why I still call myself a feminist.

Feminists were also the first to recognize the destructiveness of gender roles, which is something that egalitarianism doesn't.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think it is possible. Mostly because most feminists I see don't try to stop the extremists. they either ignore them or go, "Those aren't REAL feminists." as if that makes it any better.

[(Anonymous)]

I think your experience is limited because I have seen feminists push back against the extremists. Particularly TERFs, for example.

But the internet tends to magnify the most extreme positions unfortunately.

Regardless, I'm not just going to give up. It'd be like conceding Christianity because of the Westboro Baptist Church or the existence of fundamentalists.

[diet_poison]

What more are we supposed to do to "stop" them, other than calling them out?

At some point you have to recognize that every group has extremists and choose to not define the larger group that way. It's a recognizable pattern for every religion, political ideology, social movement, subculture, etc. etc. etc. with more than like 20 people that has ever existed.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know. The same thing feminists expect men to do to stop other men from raping?

[(Anonymous)]

No, the reason is that it's socially beneficial for them to avoid the label because of all the lies that are told and believed about feminism.

People have been claiming that feminists are ugly, man-hating, female supremacists with no sense of humour for WELL OVER A HUNDRED YEARS, jsyk.

[(Anonymous)]

It would help if large portions of the internet didn't support this. The difference between 100 years ago is that these people are out in the open and can have their views validated by other crazies.

[diet_poison]

I have actual family members who think this way :(

[(Anonymous)]

Same. Although to be fair they tend to think this because of this one crazy aunt I have.

Family: "Feminists are crazy"
Me: "No we're not. We just want equality"
Aunt: "That's right, we just want women to be equal to men. The best way to do this is through selective abortion so that the male population is roughly one third that of women"
Me: "God damn it Aunty stop helping!" (Of course I don't say this, because she is, to be perfectly honest, FUCKING CRAZY. and more than a little violent)

[diet_poison]

lol woooooow.

I guess I'm lucky that I only have one kind of crazy in my family, not both.

[(Anonymous)]

And more and more places like tumblr and ONTD are proving them right

[(Anonymous)]

This, full stop. There is no amount of feminism that won't get a woman called a man-hating harpy. Even Emma Watson got death threats for being a feminist and she's as inoffensive as it gets.

[(Anonymous)]

Augu I know. I once got called a "misandrist" because I said I wanted male politicians to do more research before trying to outright ban abortion, because they'll never have to go through with it and don't know what it's like.
Apparently that secretly meant I hated all men and wanted to kill them lol.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, and people in this thread who call themselves egalitarian get accused of being misogynists simply for wanting to choose a different label. Funny how that works.

[(Anonymous)]

I do not agree.

Oh, I agree the death threat are bullshit, I just mean (and I say this as a feminist) I do not go along with some of the stuff she said in the "HE for SHE" speech.

I can kinda see why a guy might find it insulting. I found it a bit patronizing myself.

[(Anonymous)]

THIS!!

[feotakahari]

A monarchist once told me that I was entitled to my own opinions, but I wasn't entitled to my own facts. Granted, his fact was that bottle-fed babies have lower IQs than breast-fed babies, and his argument was that gay men shouldn't be allowed to adopt children, but the point still stands. If you start from, for instance, the fact that women are less represented in high-paying positions, and you don't go along with that rich male politician who claimed that women want shitty underpaid jobs, then there has to be a question of WTF is up.

[diet_poison]

Not really? I mean I'd argue that if you averaged out the life experiences of every man in the world and every woman in the world, women would definitely have it worse. If you limit it to just the western world, the discrepancy would be much smaller, but still visible.

but the point of feminism isn't oppression olympics, it's specifically targeting and destroying sexism and destructive toxic masculinity, and affording equal social standing and political standing to women - because not all women actually do have that at this point.