fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2999 ]

[ SECRET POST #2999 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2999 ⌋

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Notes:

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I wish there wasn't quite the stigma associated with it. There could be lots of reasons for it.

It's cheaper than getting your own place.

Seriously, my thoughts are somewhat skewed because my parents are so old. I'd like to at least live near them so I can take care of them once they're too frail to live by themselves.

Depends on the situation. If someone has a good relationship with their parents and everyone contributes, then I consider it a good thing.

If the relationship is sour though and they are only living there because financial times are tough, then I feel bad for them.

In general I'm not in favor of judging adults who live with their parents though, living on your own is not always financially feasible and it kind of reeks of classism.

None overall, since it depends on why, how, who, where they're from, what their cultural background is, whether they are attempting to contribute to the household or being lazy, whether the adult is the head of the household or the parents are, I could keep going

Plus something like 30% of people 18-35 live with their parents in the US IIRC. It'd be difficult to judge all of them the same

Fine for everyone else but it's terrible that I'm one of them.

Really it depends on the reasons for it, which are as varied as the people. Sometimes it's good for everyone involved, sometimes it's sad because of the state of the economy that made it necessary, sometimes it's frustrating, etc.

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

cloud_riven - 2015-03-21 23:04 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

sjwsapphire.livejournal.com - 2015-03-22 00:44 (UTC) - Expand

I think, in most situations, it's better for everyone involved if you don't live with your parents. But there are all kinds of situations where it's necessary and I don't judge anyone for it, no matter what the reason; I just think most people will be happier not living with their parents, in the world as it presently exists.

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-21 22:37 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-21 23:28 (UTC) - Expand

Nothing wrong with it, especially in this age with the economy and the housing market being what they are. I did for quite a while.

In this economy? I kind of expect it. Living with room mates sucks a lot of the time, and saving money while living with your folks is often just the smarter thing to do for some of your young adulthood.

No judgement! Nobody I know can really afford to live alone at the moment unless they get paid to relocate.

Some days I wish I could, but I know that would be a bad situation for everyone.

My mother and I really can't live together, and our relationship has been a lot better after I moved out. I also don't get along with my step-mother that much, and I know she wouldn't like it if I came to live with her and my father full-time, though I know my father wouldn't mind it (and if it hadn't been for my step-mother I might have lived with him for awhile longer).

It would be great for my economy to live with parents so I could save up some money, but in the end it's much better the way it is now. But sometimes I envy those who have a good enough relationship with their parents and the luxury of being able to stay under their roof for cheap.

See, in my country, the eldest male child is expected to live with their parents and bring their spouse/children under the same roof, so as to take care of the parents in their golden years. Female children and younger male children are expected to live with parents until starting their own families. So on the one hand, it's not weird for me, but on the other hand, all of that is totally fucked up.

It's ok for adult women to live with their parents because living on your own is fucking scary and not just a little bit dangerous, add to that the fact that room mates can be a fucking chore.

Dudes tho? Something is wrong with a man north of 25 living with his folks. criminally lazy, immature, or incompetent. Either way not quality humans.

I would not associate myself with a guy like that. The sad thing is, it's most often women who do move out, while it's mostly guys who cling to their mothers apron strings.

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-21 23:09 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-21 23:16 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-21 23:23 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-21 23:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-22 05:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-22 18:11 (UTC) - Expand

Depends entirely on the situation. We considered moving in with the partner's parents last year to help deal with end-of-life care for her father. For various reasons, it didn't happen.

You do what you can to live. It ended up where I became the caregiver to my mother. I don't know what I'll do when she passes on and I'm by myself.

Whether I'm okay with it depends on someone's age and reasons for it, and there are . Disabled or otherwise dependent on parents financially/physically/mentally? Live with them. That approximate "just out of college" age? Shit load of debt probably, good life decision. Single parent? It's probably just smart. The parents need help from day-to-day? Way to be a good child.

Now, if someone lives with their parents because they sit inside watching tv all day and refuse to even apply for a job while generally acting like a large child, I judge the fuck out of those people.

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-22 00:14 (UTC) - Expand

Nothing in particular. People's living arrangements aren't generally any of my business. Huge range of reasons adults live with parents, from cultural and financial to disability/caregiving.

As someone who really loves not living with the parents, I see it as a bit odd after about...21-22 years of age (usual uni graduation age).

Also the older you are the more likely I will think it is odd, because you're kind of putting off living on your own and I think some people might struggle from the sudden transition of living with folks to living on own and that awkward midway stage where you flail around a bit.

But financially it makes a lot of sense, especially if you study/work nearby. So I can see the benefits there. I can't say I'd live with my folks even if I did still work near them.

tldr financially it makes sense but I also regard it as odd.

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-22 01:39 (UTC) - Expand

Enh. We know a bunch. Because they're disabled (kids, parents, or both), because the rent is too damn high otherwise, because they have a close family relationship, because they come from a culture where it's the norm...

Seems like any other living situation to me. Works for some, not for others.

--Rogan

If they have a reliable source of income and contribute fairly to the household, and don't answer to their parents (nor do their parents expect them to anymore), then it's no different to me than if they shared space and expenses with any roommate. Even though I'm US American, it's stranger to me that we push so hard for family members to isolate themselves from each other. I mean, why? If you get along and have a healthy relationship with your folks, you're one of the lucky few, enjoy both the emotional and financial benefits of staying close to them for as long as it suits you all. Unnecessary distance doesn't somehow make you a better adult.

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-22 19:16 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

darkmanifest - 2015-03-22 19:55 (UTC) - Expand

Depends on the reason why. My brother is almost 30 and still lives at home. He had some serious mental health issues (bipolar) that derailed college the first time around and it took years and a suicide attempt to adjust his meds to the point where he could reliably attend class. He's finishing up his degree now, but it's not in a field that will be a big money earner so it may take longer for him to become financially independent. He certainly wants to be, and he also struggles with the shame of living at home at his age, still supported by our parents. I'm incredibly proud of how far he's come because I know it's been hard for him just to get up every day and not give up.

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-22 04:34 (UTC) - Expand

I see a number of people answering this saying they think it's okay in some situations, but they judge people for it in other situations.

So I'm wondering, how much do they consider it's okay to interrogate people about why they live where they live?

The person you're judging as a lazy slob who sits around the house all day might not want to tell you their medical history, especially if you sound like a judgmental wazzock.

I wish people could spend less time judging others for superficial things, and more time examining the prejudices behind some of our initial judgments.

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-22 10:04 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-22 19:38 (UTC) - Expand

Perfectly normal in my culture.

I wish America was not so horribly shamey about it.

+1

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-22 11:32 (UTC) - Expand

sa

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-22 11:41 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What are your thoughts on adults who live with their parents?

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-22 16:18 (UTC) - Expand

Given that I live with my mother, I would say it depends from case to case. If it's like how I view my situation - adult housemates who never needed to get used to each other - I have no ground to judge. If I heard about a situation that was the child depending on the adult and thus being a severe strain when they could do something, or the situation is somehow abusive, then I am a lot more ambivalent about it.

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