[ SECRET POST #3127 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3127 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.











Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 046 secrets from Secret Submission Post #447.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Rant thread!

[(Anonymous)]

I'm in a similar situation with my own friend, and it sucks. I really want her to acknowledge how much she takes me for granted but when I bring it up she replies with "Oh, I never realized I did that" or other similar statements. So I feel like she's essentially saying it's all in my head or w/e because she always says she's never aware of it...like dude, we both know you're never going to change, so at least own up to it and validate my feelings plz. And apologize once in a while, maybe.

Re: Rant thread!

[(Anonymous)]

I hate to say this, but the reason why she doesn't feel the need to own up and apologize is because you stick around with her regardless. This is a situation where people can only mistreat you as long as you allow it. Yes, if she were a better person, she'd stop on her own. But she isn't. So you have to decide what YOU are going to do about that and whether or not it's a dealbreaker.

Re: Rant thread!

[(Anonymous)]

Yeahhh, you're right. The thing is, she's my only friend and is a great person (outside of being a massive flake) and I've known her for 10+ years, so I'm not willing to cut ties completely, though I have distanced myself from her. Logically I've decided not to give a shit since that's the only thing I can about the situation, but unfortunately it's pretty hard to do so in practice and I can't help but think how easily this could be remedied if she just acknowledged her behavior rather than constantly being oblivious and making it sound like I'm being overly sensitive. Obviously what I really need are new friends.

Re: Rant thread!

[(Anonymous)]

I understand. The longer a friendship has lasted, the harder it is to see it end. But the problem is that you're right, this problem could be easily fixed if your friend was a little more considerate. Unless you're really, really good about letting things go, the resentment will build up over time and start eating away at the friendship even if you don't want to end it. You could try to train (for lack of a better word) her out of it, but honestly, that's really hard to do. You'd have to call her on her behavior each and every time (without getting angry) and hope that forcing her to stop and reconsider her actions will bring about a change in her habits. That will only work if she understands it's a problem AND is willing to work on it.

But regardless of what you decide, making new friends is always a good idea. You can't have too many friends.

Re: Rant thread!

[(Anonymous)]

The resentment has definitely been building up, unfortunately. I've done everything over the years from passive-aggressively ignoring her back (which lead to neither of us talking for more than a year) to outright accusations, but I find arguments to be too tiresome these days so more recently I either bite my tongue or I mention it to her using a lot of "I FEEL YOU DO THIS" statements which similarly gets me nowhere. A problem is that she seemingly never gets angry at me for anything so if I bring up her behavior too frequently I feel..........like somehow I'm the bully here? There's a lot of small factors involved that make me feel like I can't express genuine anger at her actions, but the flipside is stating thing thing so gently she brushes it off. Or rather, she says she'll do better, but she's too much of a flake to remember/commit.

ANYWAY, thanks for the support, anon! I feel loads better and you had good things to say. Thanks for listening!

Re: Rant thread!

[(Anonymous)]

thread op and you sound exactly like me.

I just don't really know how to make friends anymore. I have two, the person I'm talking about and my cousin. I also have a very close friend online who's been helping me through this.

This friend I'm talking about and I kind of work better with distance, I think. Seeing each other every month or so works best for us. I'm just not used to her flaking out on me so often, with the three examples I mentioned taking place in the same month (two of them in the same day!).