fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3177 ]

[ SECRET POST #3177 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3177 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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12. http://i57.tinypic.com/35chf9c.jpg
[penis]

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13. http://i.imgur.com/OB1EeH5.jpg
[porn - furry/illustrated]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #454.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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My ex-GF had one. It's a large part of why we're ex. I didn't know it beforehand, but turns out I can't be with someone who would purposefully kill my child. It's been years, and when something reminds me of it, I miss what could have been.

You're disgusting.

anon below. I see I was too late.

You're predictable.

I'm sorry you went thru that. And I am sorry for all the people who will be replying soon calling you a sexist dick who only wants to control women's bodies and what not. You are not.

Well, it definitely seems we wouldn't be compatible in moral views.

Do you really think your gf should have had her body invaded by something she didn't want, because of you? Serious body horror there. Your stakes as parents are not comparable in the slightest until a child is outside of the body.

He can still feel regret at the loss of his child. Contrary to what Tumblr will tell you, grief is not contest.

Honestly, I know what I'm about to say is incredibly shitty but it's still how I feel:

When men lament that women get abortions when they didn't want them to, it sounds to me like a white man lamenting that his black slave was freed.

Like, I'm sorry you didn't get something you obviously wanted, but the horror of having something INSIDE me, leeching the nutrients out of my body, living off me, making me sick, basically acting as a parasite, outweighs anyone else's feelings.

Logically, I understand that the man is grieving for the loss of his potential child. But HOLY SHIT I emotionally cannot look past what's being asked of a woman in this situation -- it's horrific.

This is a really shitty thing to say to someone who made an effort to not derail a related thread with his opposing view. I mean, like, why do you think anyone gives a shit about whether they'd be compatible with you or should have to answer to your moral code in a thread for a very specific topic?

"purposefully kill my child"

That is really aggressive language right there that negates what went on for the ex-GF.

And once again, make a post, other people give their opinion, whether or not the OP "gives a shit" about opposing ones.

NAYRT

I can see where you're coming from, but I can also completely see where the anon is coming from. In the sense - which is how I read the comment - that someone might be unable to see it any other way, might get stuck on that. I don't think it's right but I think I can understand it.

In a lot of ways I think that's why abortion is the ridiculous lightning rod it is. Because there are perspectives that are probably just ultimately irreconcilable.

Oh no, I'm sure it breaks OP's heart that you guys won't be BFFs.

:'(

I would say there's a very big gap between someone who wishes their ex had wanted and decided to keep the child, and someone who wishes their ex had kept the child even though she was unhappy with it and felt she should suffer for his sake. OP hasn't given any evidence to say he's the latter.

The phrasing of the op points very strongly towards the latter. The whole "purposefully kill my child" bit is incredibly loaded phrasing, and not at all likely to be trotted out by someone who believes his ex made a valid choice based on what was best for her, even if it's one he can't agree with.

That's the thing. It depends on framing. What if option #1 is "purposefully kill [his] child" and option #2 is "suffer in silence while an unwanted baby leeches off of her and be miserable"?

Even if he can't stay with someone who chooses option #1, that doesn't mean he'd have opted for option #2 or forced it if he could. Abortion is one of those things where there's rarely 100% wonderful, happy choice.

I can recognize that she had more stakes and the right to do whatever she wanted just fine, thanks. Doesn't mean I have to like it or stay with her when I couldn't even look at her the same. Maybe that makes me a monster to you, but I'll stick with wholly incompatible.

Did you discuss this issue beforehand?

Because if she went against her word, then, yes I can understand you feeling betrayed.

I think what I'm having a lot of trouble swallowing here is you saying you "couldn't even look at her the same" -- because that can't help but sound judgmental.

Loss isn't always rational.

It's definitely judgmental. But there's a difference between judging someone's actions and trying to force them into a different one, which is what you seem to be accusing me of doing. But sorry if every time I looked at her, all I could feel was loss and regret and sadness and -- for a while -- anger. Can't help how we feel, we can only help what we do about it. I chose to get out, because none of that was a recipe for a good relationship, and I couldn't, and apparently still can't, see it changing.

Re: When abortion is regrettable

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-16 01:12 (UTC) - Expand

Re: When abortion is regrettable

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-16 08:59 (UTC) - Expand

Re: When abortion is regrettable

kitelovesyou - 2015-09-16 02:23 (UTC) - Expand

Re: When abortion is regrettable

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-16 02:34 (UTC) - Expand

Re: When abortion is regrettable

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-16 02:46 (UTC) - Expand

Re: When abortion is regrettable

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-16 03:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: When abortion is regrettable

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-16 04:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: When abortion is regrettable

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-16 04:46 (UTC) - Expand

Re: When abortion is regrettable

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-16 08:52 (UTC) - Expand

Re: When abortion is regrettable

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-16 16:52 (UTC) - Expand

Re: When abortion is regrettable

dethtoll - 2015-09-16 05:13 (UTC) - Expand

That sucks, anon. :(

You're entitled to your grief - if you've donated a kidney, a lung, or an eye to someone, or have donated blood at every single opportunity, or if you're a medical or emergency services volunteer of some sort. ie if you've put yourself out to save life. Otherwise, no.

"entitlement to grief"

fuck you

(pretending that's a 1:1 comparsion is fucking rich, btw)

Okay?

cry moar about being entitled to your girlfriend's body and health you piece of shit :)

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