fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3227 ]

[ SECRET POST #3227 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3227 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Mary McDonnell, Battlestar Galactica, Major Crimes]

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[Deadly Premonition]

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[The Walking Dead, Glenn Rhee]

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[Bill Skarsgård]

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08. http://i.imgur.com/LAq54d4.jpg
[link for random penis]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 018 secrets from Secret Submission Post #461.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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So. I'm a long-time lurker here, and I occasionally anon. But right now, I'm here to talk.

Me and my fiancee are finally getting married because it's finally legal to in Oklahoma, and we just need the insurance. We're planning the ceremony to be when we have life in order. So I started looking up tips for people like us since we're both disabled (she's got bad fibro and joint pain along with IBS and other bullshit her body pulls, I have really bad mental health and hereditary early-onset arthritis and such that prevents me from even getting out of bed some days).

And you won't believe the number of articles that are all about ripping off or taking advantage of people or just outright lying to them. Like, I get that some people arbitrarily mark up for weddings, but a lot of wedding photographers? Do so for their time and editing going into it, which can be a lot more, IME, than stuff. And don't get me started on people who suggest cheap wedding dresses from China. (What I know of China, if it's super cheap like these guys are suggesting despite it being imported, it's usually because it's from severely underpaid sweatshop labor.)

It's kind of mindboggling that some of these suggestions are all about basically scamming people or taking advantage of the marginalized (which I def don't wanna do given lesbian).

Wow.

That's capitalism for you.

*audience laughs at the familiar punchline*

*freeze frame, slide whistle, cut to credits*

No, it pretty much is. :c I'm still disgusted by how ripping people off or taking advantage of them seems to be some of the first suggestions.

The other ones are "opt for outdoor weddings." Which isn't an option in Oklahoma because you never know when you're gonna get 50MPH+ winds. :T

Pretty much what the others said.

want to avoid it? Try finding a photographer (even just semi pro) in your extended network who will do it for less. Do make sure to ask a portfolio. Get a nice dress you might wear for other occasions that just the wedding?

Eh, that's all I've got really.

Dress for me is taken care of, thankfully. I can wear my mother's really nice dress still. \o/;;;

My wife is what will be a problem. She's got a linebacker's body. But she wants a dress since she has Issues with not feeling feminine and she wants to be as girly as possible for the actual ceremony.

The photography ranting was mainly just ranting at others ripping people off and assuming pro quality is the same you can get with a cheap disposable camera. >>

Hmm, considered a seamstress? It might even turn out cheaper. I'm tall/broad and have done so in the past.

We probably will go that route. Right now, we have nice clothes for the courthouse stuff we're doing here in December, but that's. Not going to be our eventual ceremony. xD;

I'm loved. I will always be loved. She will never see though the version of me she thinks she sees, and will never come to know me like I know myself. My lapses in humanity will always be covered by her rose tinted spectacles.

Ehhhhhh skip the formality, buy a used dress (or tux, whatever your flavour), have people do potluck, backyard ceremony...

Seriously, people spend way more on wedding shit than is ever necessary.

1. We don't have a backyard that's good for a wedding and we're in Oklahoma where the weather's so unpredictable I'd never do any outdoor wedding.

2. We have way too big a family that's pretty tight-knit for that anyway.

3. We... Kind of want the formality? We don't really have much going for us, so we kinda want to have a nice wedding. A treat to ourselves one day, basically, since travel is definitely out. Our joints don't like it. :c

Well, then expect to be gouged is all I can say. If you want formality you're going to pay for it. The wedding industry is specifically set up to take advantage of people who want a big wedding. That is why it's an industry.

There are ways to save that aren't all "rip people off/scam them/spend fuck tons of money or have a tiny wedding in your own backyard." Believe me, my family's done it.

I'm more upset right now because I nearly go into graphic design before my arthritis cropped up big-time in my hands. So the whole wedding photos and sweatshop dresses thing really bothers me.

(Another article suggested offering ~exposure~ in exchange for a reduced price on places helping with the event.)

Re: Wedding Stuff -- the rant

herpymcderp - 2015-11-05 00:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Wedding Stuff -- the rant

bluerosedreams - 2015-11-05 00:48 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Wedding Stuff -- the rant

herpymcderp - 2015-11-05 00:51 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Wedding Stuff -- the rant

bluerosedreams - 2015-11-05 00:53 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Wedding Stuff -- the rant

(Anonymous) - 2015-11-05 02:14 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Wedding Stuff -- the rant

bluerosedreams - 2015-11-05 02:37 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Wedding Stuff -- the rant

(Anonymous) - 2015-11-05 02:57 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Wedding Stuff -- the rant

bluerosedreams - 2015-11-05 03:02 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Wedding Stuff -- the rant

(Anonymous) - 2015-11-05 05:15 (UTC) - Expand

I'm with you on photographers/sweatshop dresses, but I shamelessly lied to the salon I went to beforehand for my hair/makeup-- it was literally the exact same thing I got for an event I'd gone to a couple of years prior, but $75 more. I just told them I had a special event I was going to. Fuck that "wedding tax" extortion for something like that.

I'm lucky on hair and make-up. My mother loves to do that kind of stuff, and she's really good at it--she could have done stage make-up if she hadn't had me. Didn't want me to end up on the road most of my life, tho. So that'll always be free.

It just boggles me how people treat photographers who're going to not only be at your wedding for hours, usually on their feet, then editing for another handful of hours--sometimes days depending--to make your wedding photos perfect. And the dresses? Go local if you want a seamstress.

Yeah, my wife and I both went to this local dress shop where they make the dresses 100% custom, and they were gorgeous-- not to mention a lot cheaper since it didn't have a "brand".

Our photographer was a miracle-worker, too. We'd already worked with him for our engagement photos, and I couldn't have imagined short-changing him on the wedding. I do think the "wedding tax" is a legitimate thing, and where it's unnecessary (like it's the same thing, just more money) it can be avoided, but if you're actually getting something more for your money then it's something you really need to factor into your budget.

Re: Wedding Stuff -- the rant

bluerosedreams - 2015-11-05 00:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Wedding Stuff -- the rant

(Anonymous) - 2015-11-05 01:09 (UTC) - Expand

Congrats on your upcoming wedding! :D

I know a lot of people shop online for dresses, but I don't know how well that will work for your fianceé if she has an unusual body type, like you mentioned elsewhere. It might still be worth looking into; buying online and getting it tailored would probably still be cheaper than buying it from a boutique.

I wish I had more advice for you. I have very little experience with weddings! But I love them and I wanted to comment because I think that's really exciting! I hope you can find dresses and photographers and everything else and have it work out well!

I have a dress, thankfully. I'm just a slightly taller clone of my mother, so what was floor-length on her will be about ankle-length on me but still look great. Char... We'll look into that. o: I'm sure we can find something.

And thanks! /o/ It's not ideal circumstances, by a long shot, and we'd hoped to wait longer. But we qualify for state insurance if we're married and weeee desperately need it. :T;;;

ahhh, the insurance clusterfuck.

I hope despite the less-than-ideal circumstances it's still a joyful time for you :)

Congrats on getting married! :D

For your partner's dress, I cannot recommend eshakti's stuff enough. For a very modest fee, you can get a customized, tailored wedding/formal dress that's wearable again. As long as her measurements are taken correctly, you should get something that's a perfect fit.

http://www.eshakti.com/SearchProducts.aspx?q=Weddings%20and%20Events

I hope this goes a little way towards making the costs seem less!

I will definitely keep this in mind. o: Thanks!

Never been married, but based on my observations of other people's weddings:

It can be worth it to splurge on a decent photographer, if on nothing else. My parents' wedding photos are kind of awful because they got my grandfather's next-door neighbor who was "real good with a camera" to do them. There are candid polaroids from that wedding that look better than the "official" photos. At the very least, if you use a friend, choose a friend who actually knows what they're doing. It might also help to have things happen while the sun is still up.

You don't need a wedding dress that was specifically manufactured to be a wedding dress. You can buy any dress you like off-the-rack/online. My friend got married in a frilly, cream-colored dress she bought from the Pyramid Collection catalog (and at the age of 23, I thought that was the coolest thing ever). Same thing with any other garments either of you might wear - you can wear a sport coat or just a nice shirt instead of a tux, you can rent a tux, and so on. Making something is totally fine. People get married in Star Trek costumes so do what you want.

DIY decorations and flowers and doing your own set-up/clean-up are entirely acceptable. Get family and friends to help with this. This is the standard modus operandi among my extended family when there is a wedding - any relatives who already live nearby or can arrive early enough will help do all the DIY stuff and set up. Even the ones who can afford a florist don't bother to use one except to order flowers they can then arrange themselves.

A venue doesn't have to be a conventional wedding venue. You could see if there is maybe some kind of public/government property you can rent/reserve for less than a more typical wedding venue. Think city/county/state/national park, DNR wildlife area, library, historic site, whatever. You can also opt not to have a regular ceremony and just skip to the reception part (maybe with some kind of speech from you two) - after you get married at city hall.

For a cake, you might see what local bakeries have to offer and emphasize that you live nearby. Hopefully, they wouldn't want to develop a reputation among people in the neighborhood for charging to much or doing a bad job. You can also bake your own cake, or cupcakes, or have rice crispie treats, or whatever you want.

I don't really have any advice, but congrats!! I love talking about weddings lol. When are you guys getting married, what kind of style are you planning??

We're courthousing it on Dec 2. For the ceremony, it may be a few years, but we're gonna go pretty simple.

Oh yeah people charge ridiculous stuff for weddings in partiuclar. It doesn't surprise me they're doing it to take advantage of people. In fact I probably suspect it.

My sister's getting married and I'm learning just how expensive anything is when you say "wedding".

You obviously didn't read what I said.

I'm talking about how all the advice for saving was, "Try to cut corners by lying to people, or con some kids in band at school to do it for free."

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