fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3327 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3327 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Leonard Snart/Ray Palmer, DC's Legends of Tomorrow]

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05. [SPOILERS for Downton Abbey]

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06.[WARNING for suicide]

[Mare Internum]

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07. [WARNING for sexual assault]

[Love Live - sorry anon who wanted it Saturday, trying to keep the warning ones on Friday]

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08. [WARNING for rape, abuse, etc]

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09. [WARNING for rape/dub-con, child abuse]

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10. [WARNING for rape]

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11. [WARNING for underage sex]

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12. [WARNING for sexual abuse, child abuse]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #475.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Piggy-backing off of the Bowie wank, I think the age of consent should be sixteen across the board because I think 16 year olds are morons but old enough to understand sex and its consequences, but I would still judge anyone older than MAYBE 20 who slept with a sixteen year old. I don't even care if that's hypocritical. It's gross to sleep with teenagers even if I do think they're old enough to know what they're doing.

It is.

t. Most of the western world, hell the majority of the states.

AYRT

As a States resident, by 'across the board' I mean a very Americacentric 'in all 50 states.' Although at least some of that is my frustration with each state having different laws. Well, 18 year old boy with consenting 17 year old girlfriend in New Jersey (Age of consent: 16) , better not take your girl on a weekend trip to New York City (Age of consent: 18 and there are no 'close-in-age' exceptions like there are in some other states).

I'm mixed on this.

On the one hand, I wouldn't judge a 20-year-old who thought he was sleeping with an 18-year-old (but was younger), or who met a 16-year-old somewhere and connected with them before age was even put on the table.

On the other hand, if someone is well over 20 years old, and you deliberately seek out 16-year-olds to date then yes, I judge the shit out of that kind of person. If someone is over 20 and they find out their date is 16 and they don't even attempt to put the brakes on the relationship, or to even slow it down, then I think something must be wrong with that person.

I tend to give those of college age a pass, depending on the situation. The human brain isn't fully matured until age 25, but I do think there are some intentional pervs.

AYRT Yeah, my reasoning for the age of consent being 16 is that I think 16 year olds are capable of understanding consent and making that decision, and I don't think it's right for me to step in and act like I get to control their bodies at that age. But just because in my hypothetical world it would be LEGAL for 30 year olds to seek out and sleep with 16 year olds, doesn't mean it wouldn't be disgusting and I would think anyone who did that had something wrong with them.

I will amend my previous 20 year old age limit though, because you're right, college age gets a bit of a pass due to the mental maturity phase.

I was 17 when I started dating a 25 year old. He wasn't looking to date 16 year olds... he was interested in dating me, specifically. Was I fully matured at that age? Nope, and for that reason I wouldn't automatically recommend it to any teenager in a similar position. You have to watch out for the signs of an unhealthy relationship, just as you do at any age. It's just that being a teenager and relatively inexperienced makes you more vulnerable, so you have to be a lot more careful and go slowly.

We've been happily married for twelve years now, BTW.

As the OP here I would like to clarify that I do think there are exceptions! There are always exceptions and I'm glad you and your husband are happy together. I just think that as a whole adults do not tend to have best interests in mind when they date teenagers.

I think there should be a close-in-age exception with no limit, but otherwise I am good with 16 as the general age of consent. (Although, yes, people who are no longer in their teens seeking out 16 year olds is skeevy as hell. Also kind of boring and inconvenient - you can't take them to a lot of bars or clubs, they're not independent of their parents and may have a curfew or at least a parent asking lots of questions, and what the hell do you talk about?)

AYRT I am all for close-in-age exceptions. Doesn't matter how I feel about teenagers having sex, they're gonna do it anyway and they shouldn't get in trouble for it.

All of those things you said are why I cannot believe anyone who would claim to be genuinely interested in a 16 year old. I'm sure someone will pop up with an exception, but the exception does not disprove the rule.

I agree if it's just sex, age should be 16. Dating and relationships on the other hand, is where it gets a little sketchy.

AYRT In theory, if you are not actually sexually touching the teenager, you're not actually doing anything wrong, but then you get into 'well how old do they have to be before it's no longer considered grooming' and if some 20 something came up to me and said 'I'm dating your 15 year old but don't worry we're gonna wait to have sex' I would probably still flip out. Even if they were waiting for 18.

I mean, if it's just no strings attached/booty call/one night stand sex, it's fine no matter the age, within reason of course. A 16 year old is old enough to know what goes where, no matter how old the person on the other end is.

Dating and relationships fall into that sketchy "grooming" territory. It mainly has to do with the power balance/manipulation aspect that makes me go "Eh, no. Stick with someone your own age if you're going to be with them for more than a few hours/night."

Edited 2016-02-13 05:29 (UTC)

Yeah I didn't think about that when I was writing this, I was stuck on coercion and I forgot that sometimes you just want to have sex. It would still really gross me out if an adult had sex with a 16 year old, but if it's just a hook up then no one involved is being misled and that is a very different case.

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