[ SECRET POST #3395 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3395 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 027 secrets from Secret Submission Post #485.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

Whatever you like!

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

So....you get to that Place where you can say "yes, this was Abuse," but ....... then what, man? I feel hollow, lately.

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

It may take time to unpack how you feel about it. Do you have someone you can talk to who'll just listen and not offer any advice or judgment?

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

Sometimes I feel like the people who respond to trolls with mocking derision are as bad or worse than the trolls themselves.

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

I think that fertility treatments and surrogacy are morally questionable at best, given the society we live in. Not because I think those things are bad in and of themselves (I don't, I think it's really great that medical science has progressed so far), but because of the literally thousands of infants and children who could be adopted if people weren't so obsessed with biology and genetics. I feel the same about having more than two or three biological children (the Duggars make me ill).

I don't say any of this in public because I'm not a complete idiot and I do in fact understand that fertility can be a really sensitive subject.

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

I agree with you.

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

I understand this line of thinking a lot, tbh.

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

While I can understand this argument, I don't think anyone who has biological children has the right to make that choice. I'm a lesbian who wants kids one day (and yes, probably will for at least one use a sperm donor) and I was once lectured by a woman who had two biological kids about how I should adopt instead.

One, it isn't a bad thing want the experience of having a biological kid. And two, anyone who thinks adoption is easy and doesn't cost money, time, and often times heartache, knows absolutely nothing about the adoption process.

I'm absolutely pro-adoption and would certainly consider it one day but frankly it'll probably cost less and be way easier for me to just use a sperm donor.

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

I agree with you if they're using surrogacy for more than two kids. Two I think is fine since it's not doing any harm to the population, you're replacing yourselves when you die. If you're using surrogacy to have more than two children it's a little questionable.

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

Adoption can be difficult. I don't think there are that many people giving up kids for adoption.l

You get kids in foster care because abusive and neglectful parents don't want to give up the rights to their kids, so those kids can't be adopted.

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[ariakas]

I used to think the same way you did, but as I get older I'm gradually changing my mind.

There aren't - at least where I live - "thousands" of children awaiting adoption. There are less than one hundred, and every single one of them either has severe, debilitating health problems that will cost tens of thousands of dollars a year plus full time care to treat, severe mental problems, is almost "aged out" of the system already (i.e. is a teenager), or some combination of all three. The government has a list of them (under pseudonyms, of course) right up on their website. It's wonderful if you have the means to adopt one of these children, but that requires not only wealth and a special set of life circumstances that not everyone who would be a perfectly good parent to a healthy child could manage.

The "thousands" of children aren't up for adoption - they're in the foster system. And while it's true that you could apply to adopt these children eventually, you could easily be rejected, or the parents could just not want to give them up.

There's international adoption, of course, but not only does it cost as much as three times more than the most expensive fertility treatments available - zero dollars of which goes to making your child's life or the lives of other children better, and all to lawyers and bureaucrats - but there's a decent risk that child is a "paper orphan" stolen from his or her parents to essentially sell to desperate, childless, or well-meaning rich Westerners. Moreover, many countries have already closed their borders to this practice and many more are following suit, as their own fertility rate drops and their own wealthy citizens are increasingly likely to want to adopt.

You could just give money to help charities that help children in need, of course, but you could also do that while having children of your own perfectly well.

Worse, there's absolutely nothing preventing the biologically capable of "just adopting" or fostering themselves - if it's such a wonderful, preferable act, and the insistence on having biological children is so selfish and irrational, and we're already so overpopulated, why try to foist it off on the infertile and gays? Why don't you do it?

Fertility rates drop with increasing GDP, and freely accessible birth control and abortions decrease the number of unwanted children - honestly, it's probably best for the planet and society just to support global equality and development and women's rights, if that's the outcome you want, then to take up arms and berate infertile people who are probably having a hard enough time already. That's not going to solve the problem. Adoption is already in much of the developed world a seller's market, to the point couples are desperate enough to drop $100K on a kidnapped foreign kid with severe disabilities. There's no way we wouldn't be better off if they spent $25K on IVF, had the biological kid they wanted, and used the savings to foster or donate to a charity that helps children.

I think people should have kids if they want them, will take good care of them, and can afford them, regardless of how those children came to be. Economics is already taking care of the overpopulation problem; everywhere but Africa's dropped below replacement levels. So, have your one or two kids, give the ridiculous adoption fees to a young mother in Africa to help her afford birth control, or a young girl to help her go to school, instead of some lawyer or government agent. Trust me: the waiting lists to adopt anywhere in the world right now is years, that kid you were "going" to adopt is going to get adopted by someone else. Or use it to foster a second/third kid in addition to your own.

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

I've never worked a job that wasn't handed to me so I'm not even sure where to start for entry level wage slave work.

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

I'm ordering Papa Johns pizza right now. I hate how the company spends its money, but I like their pizza. I only do it when I can get a 50 percent discount because my baseball team won, though.

Also, we're getting a Chick Fil-a. I haven't lived somewhere that had one in about 5 years, and I spent about a year of my time boycotting when I did live somewhere that had one, but now that one's coming here...I'm probably going to go. In fact, I'm really excited about okay chicken and great peach shakes.

I guess I've reached a point where I care more about enjoying food I like and supporting the people who have jobs because a business is in town than I do how other people spend their money.

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

Out of curiosity, how does Papa Johns spend their money?

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

Man where do you live that Papa Johns is the best pizza?

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think pandas are cute. Not even baby pandas.

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

Pandas are cute but they should be extinct. STOP WASTING MONEY TRYING TO SAVE SUCH A SHIT ANIMAL.

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

What's cute to you?

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[(Anonymous)]

Trash pandas > pandas

Suicide trigger warning, I guess...

[(Anonymous)]

I have this tiny little unrealistic dream where I live in an apartment that's really small but cozy. The windows are big and maybe there's a city outside or some trees. There's a balcony and I grow tomato plants and fresh herbs. I have a cat. I have a close group of 3 or 4 friends who come over, and we cook food together. They love me and want to spend time with me.

My real life is big, and complicated. I know I'll never have that dream. I'll probably not even last long enough to see it, with the way things are going, I think I'm eventually going to get stressed out enough to kill myself. Whenever I think of that apartment dream, it makes me want to cry. I'm sorry this is a shitty secret. Anyone I've ever shared it with laughs at me, says I'm immature. I guess I'm just so tired.

Re: Suicide trigger warning, I guess...

[(Anonymous)]

I'm so sorry <3 <3 <3

I completely sympathize and understand every single word of that, it's an amazing dream and I hope you find a place of happiness.

Re: Suicide trigger warning, I guess...

[(Anonymous)]

That's really close to my dream too: a cat, decent apartment, and friends I feel at ease with, no tomato plants though.

Re: Suicide trigger warning, I guess...

[kallanda_lee]

I dunno - the thing is, your dream isn't unrealistic. It might not sounds achievable right now...but you're not wanting to have a giant villa and live in Hollywood, you know

A small apartment, a cat, a balcony where you grow stuff...this is all within the realm of possibility. If it's not possible now, you an work towards making it happen.

Re: Suicide trigger warning, I guess...

[(Anonymous)]

What kind of asshole laughs at that kind of dream? It sounds really sweet to me.

Re: Non-fandom secrets - GO!

[feotakahari]

When people say they don't like religion, they usually either mean they don't like Christianity or they don't like Islam. As someone who doesn't like Buddhism, I feel a little left out.