[ SECRET POST #3539 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3539 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 47 secrets from Secret Submission Post #506.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

There's a thread over in r/relationships about a lady who ended her husband's fantasy threesome "for his own good" (that's literally the title of the post); "Husband [30M] of 3 years is angry with me because I [28F] "ruined" our threesome even though I did it for his own good."

According to her, they had just started the threesome when he "whimpered" in pain, and she ended it immediately. Since then, he hasn't been talking to her.

On one hand, she had a 100% right to stop the threesome as soon as she felt uncomfortable.

On the other hand, she keeps insisting in the comments that she didn't stop it because she was uncomfortable, she stopped because "I only ended the threesome for his own good and saved him a potential shitload of mental agony."

Throughout the thread, she's insistent that she's the whimper whisperer and that he's lying (because of pride) if he says that it wasn't a whimper where his "normally deep masculine voice cracked heavily, sounding like a broken soulless man." and that he was fine.

It got me curious, how well are you at reading your SOs?

Full thread here: https://www.reddit.com/user/ruined3some

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry, full thread here: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/525ik0/husband_30m_of_3_years_is_angry_with_me_because_i/?limit=500

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry, but none of that convoluted mess made a drop of sense to me.

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

- Husband wants threesome for a "hotwife" fantasy
- Rules are that the wife can back out whenever if she's uncomfortable
- Wife kisses Other Man (OM)
- Husband makes a noise (a "whimper")
- Wife backs out for husband's sake
- Husband is mad
- Wife insists that she totally knows what sound her husband made, and she was "protecting him from mental anguish" by backing out

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks, I missed the fantasy in the original comment somehow. I thought he was whimpering in pain because he was getting butt-fucked or something, lol.

Anyway, it sounds like it was a good whimper and she misread it, or wanted to misread it and put it off on him because she wasn't as into it as she thought she'd be.

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

Does that woman not know that people can make weird as hell noises when they are aroused?

She just needs to admit she was the one that was comfortable and move on from there.

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

Quote from the post: "I reminded him that one of the conditions for this threesome was that I could end it at any time if I felt uncomfortable, and hearing him whimper made me uncomfortable."

So she did say it?

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

She did. I think, if I'm reading her post correctly (lol), he objects to the idea that he "whimpered", but she keeps insisting that he did, and that he was whimpering in pain.

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe the other dude wasn't hot enough, or maybe the chemistry between her hubby and the other dude was soooo extreme that she got jealous. The fic practically writes itself.

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

Mmmmm, it does, but you can keep going nonetheless if you like.

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

I think it should turn into a darkish direction where either the wife starts gaslighting her husband and every third person (all men, of course) of a new threesome situation starts dying under suspicious circumstances.

Or the other dude turns out to be the villain, but the husband only realises that his wife was actually trying to protect him, when it's already to late.

One day I shall write that murder mystery.

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

Eh, sounds like she didn't want to do it and anything would have been an excuse to quit. Idk where she gets off thinking she knows what one specific sound her husband makes means, but like I said, I believe she just didn't want to do it. I also feel that you really, REALLY need to talk about this shit in depth and thoroughly before you try it, because now everyone is angry. Needlessly so, too.

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed. There should be no "reading" your SO when it comes to sex. Honest and open communication is crucial.

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

It was wrong of her to try and dictate what her husband was feeling, and then keep insisting that she knew his own feelings better than he himself did, god I'd be furious with that too, but it's also wrong of him to make the rules and then get mad when she follows them ("you can stop any time you feel uncomfortable"), and then refuse to have anything to do with her until she apologizes not for that but for "ruining his fantasy". I suggest counseling for them both. Yikes.

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[thelesbianfuturist]

I honestly think the guy is being big baby.

She had every right to terminate the threeway for any reason at all. Or even for no reason. It was her absolute right to just decide 'I'm don with this now' and call the whole thing off for no reason at all and if he acted like this, that would just be stupid and childish.

That she gave him a reason, and the reason was for his benefit, there's just no reason to justify his childish bullshit.

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

Of course she had every right to call it off, but I'd be pissed off, too, if my SO was so condescending and disingenuous that they said it was for my own good rather than copping to not enjoying it themselves.

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

Someone else in the thread said it a lot better, but basically, she had the right to personal autonomy.

So does he.

Her right to personal autonomy means she can quit whenever, for any reason. But when she tries to reframe it as being "for him", she's denying him his right to personal autonomy, by treating him as a child who doesn't know his own mind/feelings.

I'd be pretty pissed if I were him too.

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

Found the comment:

"He was a consenting party. He is responsible for ending something that makes him uncomfortable, not you. You're babying him and it's inappropriate. No matter what you think you heard, it was never your place to decide what he was feeling and make a choice for him. You didn't respect his autonomy as an equal party in the situation. He doesn't get to say yes for you, and you don't get to say no for him. I would be furious with you if I were him."

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[thelesbianfuturist]

Yes, but his personal autonomy can't overrule hers. So if she is worried about hurting him, or him being hurt she doesn't have to keep going just because he wants her to. She has the personal autonomy to nope herself out of the situation for any reason. the reason in this case was because she wasn't comfortable with the way he expressed his personal autonomy as a willingness to be hurt.

Just because you're in a D/s relationship as the D, doesn't mean you have to hurt the s even if that is their choice. the D isn't forced to do anything to the s, and the s can't force them by saying "It's not you that's being hurt so you can't say no for me"

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

Her reason is stupid though and implies she knows what he wants more than he does.

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[thelesbianfuturist]

Or it implies that she doesn't know what he wants or if she wants to be part of it.

If I'm with someone who says "I want you to hit me in the face with that iron, it'd be so hot" I have the right to say "I don't want to be a part of that"

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[herpymcderp]

Holy shit what the fuck is this.

...I'd say I know my SO pretty well by now consider it's been about 20 years of knowing her. I wouldn't instantly decide she wasn't allowed to continue doing something because of a noise she made though, especially if she had the full capacity to fucking speak like an adult at the time, though.

This shit sounds completely cray.

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

safewords aren't just for BDSM times, kids

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

You could argue the hotwife fantasy has strong elements of D/s.

Re: How well do you "read" your SO?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm kinda stuck on the part where she clearly expressed to him beforehand that she had no interest in anything but monogamy and then he proceeded to basically harass her into agreeing to fulfill his fetish that she didn't want to be involved in.