fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3703 ]

[ SECRET POST #3703 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3703 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 14 secrets from Secret Submission Post #529.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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The key here is that OP's bf refuses to try even ONE episode. That's less than a hour of your time, and it's not asking very much.

From the way OP sounds (considering throwing away what could [without further info] be a good relationship because their SO has no interest in watching a show they like) maybe OP's boyfriend is worried about watching an episode of a show he might not like, and then creating an argument with OP when he says, "Okay I've watched it, I don't like it."

OP didn't say one way or the other so you're assuming that it might be an otherwise good relationship. Personally, if OP's contemplating breaking up over a TV show (no matter how important or beloved) then I'm gonna go with "Maybe it ain't that good".

Eh, which is why I did say 'what COULD be (without further info) a good relationship'.

We're going off almost no extraneous info so it could be this is a 'last straw' or excuse to break up, or it could be that OP is an inflexible controlling douchenozzle. Who knows, right?

LOL, right. But apparently there are a few people in this thread who know for sure that OP is being dumb for even thinking about breaking up.

If OP didn't want us to this not watching Star Trek was the only reason they want to break up, OP should have said so.

Yeah, OP should've laid out the entire dynamics of their relationship in the secret, anything else is just plain unreasonable!

NAYRT

I mean, OP could have said, "My SO refuses to even watch one episode of TNG, and this is the last straw when it comes to not giving my interests any chance." and then no one would be taking this point blank that they're so inflexible that NOT LIKING A TV SHOW is a first straw.

Which is totally unlike the people who just TOTALLY know for sure that this isn't ~just~ about the show, it's about deeper issues (even there is exactly zero evidence or reason for this assumption in the secret itself).

Well, I mean, if she's considering throwing it away over something so trivial, that would point to it not being so very good a relationship. For her at least. I mean, if that's the thing that's going to do it, how would the relationship have stood against the real shit?

I do think it's a mistake, and sounds fairly impulsive and a little trivial, but if it's enough for her to decide to end the relationship, well there it is.

And it isn't asking much for OP not to get to mad about a stupid TV show.

Why should someone waste their time on something they know they aren't going to like? Personally, I hate romance movies. I have never encountered one that I liked, so if you asked me to watch a romance movie, I would say no because I already know that I don't like that sort of thing.

I think OP is being kind of a shitty girlfriend for insisting that her boyfriend watch something that he has no interest in. Being a couple doesn't turn you into the Borg; it's perfectly normal and healthy for one person to like things that the other one isn't really into. And? You're never going to find someone who likes EVERYTHING that you do. If most of your interests overlap, then I'd say that's a pretty good relationship right there.

Yeah, because successful relationships aren't built on compromise and maybe sometimes doing something you're less than enthusiastic about because your partner IS, or anything.

THIS.

I can't believe how many people in this thread don't get this, or just don't agree with it. Like, this isn't some kind of power play where OP is just trying to make her(?) BF watch something he doesn't like just to prove she can. This is about OP wanting her BF to spend 42 minutes of his time sharing something she cares about with her. The fact that he's unwilling to do that is understandable bothering her.

Okay, but she knows he likes the movies, so why not just watch the movies together? And maybe there are other things they both like together?

I mean, honestly, I'd either feel bad (or feel annoyed) if I asked someone to watch something with me and they very clearly didn't want to and/or didn't enjoy it.

I don't think people are saying there shouldn't be compromise or effort, but is this really a die worthy hill?

Maybe this isn't the first time OP has done this. And BF had watched stuff before and not liked it. Maybe OP is constantly pushing fan stuff on her BF and he has finally stopped letting her push him around.

Maybe you're right. But I don't see why one would assume this, rather than giving OP the benefit of the doubt.

It must be something about what a person has experience more of in their own life.

ia that relationships are all about compromise. But, you have no idea if that this isn't "some kind of power play." And you have no idea that this guy hasn't compromised or tried a dozen different things specifically because OP asked him to, and has decided to finally stand up for himself or something. There are two sides to every story, after all.

Personally ime this sounds exactly like some kind of bullshit power play. He won't watch Star Trek so I'm thinking of breaking up with him? That's nuts.

It is apparently an insane opinion on here to think that breaking up with someone because they won't watch a TV show is crazy.

Haha, yeah, well... It's Fandom Secrets, after all.

I'm sure people here are super duper invested in their favorite fannish stuff, and I understand. I like sharing things I like with people I care about. But I'm not going to wreck a relationship because my bestie doesn't want to try CS:GO with me. Similar interests are important, identical interests are impossible.

I showed my best friend my favorite show once. We got about six episodes in before she admitted that she really wasn't enjoying it, and you know what? I was glad she said so because I didn't want her to feel like she had to sit through the entire thing if she wasn't having fun.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 03:12 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2017-02-23 03:45 (UTC) - Expand

But, you have no idea if that this isn't "some kind of power play." And you have no idea that this guy hasn't compromised or tried a dozen different things specifically because OP asked him to, and has decided to finally stand up for himself or something. There are two sides to every story, after all.

I agree. There are two sides. And I agree that I don't know for sure that this isn't some kind of power play. But why would I assume it was? I mean, at the very least, I'd say the odds that you're scenario is accurate are fifty-fifty even with the odds that it isn't, and that OP just wants to share a little bit of one of her favorite things with her BF.

So I choose to give OP the benefit of the doubt and you choose not to give OP the benefit of the doubt. We're both making assumptions based on incomplete information.

However, In my personal experience, "I don't understand your interests, find them silly, and therefore will not indulge you" is a lot more common reaction between people than "You did everything else right but you wouldn't share every one of my interests to I'm breaking up with you." The latter is, as you say, a bit nuts. Which is precisely why it seems less likely than the former, which I see all the time, and have experienced a few times myself.

My husband refuses to watch Daredevil because he has got it into his head he doesn't like comic book adaptations. It's a shame - I'd enjoy watching it with him and I think he'd actually enjoy it, but he's not going to budge.

But, you know? I just watch it by myself, and I still enjoy myself.

I dont get how you don't get that wanting to break up over a fucking TV show is in no way shape or form rational. The one set in their ways and unable to take no for an answer or compromise is OP.

My OH knows there is no point asking me to go running with him because I just don't want to. He is making room for me, why is that wrong? Why is it me that's the one who HAS to try it? Married 32 years jsyk.

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