fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3771 ]

I know I'm going to regret this, but why are husbando and waifu supposed to be offensive?

supposedly making fun of japanese pronunciation

You can say that trap is supposed to refer to 2D characters, but there are currently people who do use it to refer to real people, sometimes in very insulting ways.

They *can* be insulting, depending on use. Calling a drag queen a drag queen is usually fine but calling a trans woman a drag queen is pretty insulting.

That doesn't make "drag queen" necessarily an insult.

No. Stop. Go away.

I've seen this way more often than any 2D-only use. Language changes, and it kind of sucks, but you should be angry at the people using it as a weapon, not the people dealing with the consequences.

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cbrachyrhynchos - 2017-05-02 01:15 (UTC) - Expand

Trap is intensely offensive, sorry

I don't think waifu or husbando are offensive, but they're also extremely 4chan-y which is bad in its own right

No, it's not.

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(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 00:43 (UTC) - Expand

While trap sounds like dumb teenage 4chan type humor to me, I understood it being a little more, uhh, light-hearted - not meant to refer to trans individuals, but just people - specifically guys - who look really feminine to the point where a straight man gets a boner, only to realize the person is actually a guy. If it's being used to refer to transgender individuals, that's offensive as fuck. But I can't muster much energy to be outraged if it's just a silly term for being really sexually attracted by someone and then realizing they aren't your sexual preference, and being left with a boner you don't know what to do with.

Then again, I could be wrong about its usage.

confirming your first sentence there is the original usage of the term

While trap sounds like dumb teenage 4chan type humor to me, I understood it being a little more, uhh, light-hearted - not meant to refer to trans individuals, but just people - specifically guys - who look really feminine to the point where a straight man gets a boner, only to realize the person is actually a guy. If it's being used to refer to transgender individuals, that's offensive as fuck. But I can't muster much energy to be outraged if it's just a silly term for being really sexually attracted by someone and then realizing they aren't your sexual preference, and being left with a boner you don't know what to do with.

but like. that's an actual reason that dudes give for killing trans women: because they were attracted to them and then they found out they were a dude (in the minds of the murderer). that seems like exactly the kind of idea that you should want to muster up outrage against if you're worried about transphobia. I agree that 4chan uses it in a much lighter way, but this is a really weird defense of the term

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(Anonymous) - 2017-05-01 23:53 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 00:00 (UTC) - Expand

You've got about half of it. The other half is that the traps are always really on-board with being boys that look feminine enough to trick other men. Like, that is 100% their shit and they get off on the game. That's a trap, not a transgender girl.

But people do use trap to refer to trans people. Like, a lot. Specifically to invalidate them. So I think that one of these things is really not like the others if we look at how people are actually using the term.

Lol cis boys

So I just realized I've apparently been pronouncing waifu in my head wrong all this time.

I thought it was pronounced like way-foo (because of the word waif). Apparently it's pronounced like wife-oo? Because wife?

Mind blown.

why-foo

Man, I've been getting it wrong, too! It looks like the word "waif" and then "-oo."

Waifu is not to be confused with waif-fu.

And, yes...'waifu' is simply 'wife' with a Japanese accent.

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analise - 2017-05-02 03:10 (UTC) - Expand

I'm just here to quickly say that I don't get people who say "that's not offensive" because if someone is offended by something then it is offensive...to them...you don't get to decide what offends them?

I think most people use it as shorthand for "shouldn't be considered offensive" or "is not a valid object for offense". So I mean, yeah, the whole argument is whether or not you're correct to be offended by something.

If we use this metric, then everything is offensive. If you can imagine it, it's offensive, because somebody somewhere is almost certainly offended by it.

When people argue that something isn't offensive, they're basically arguing that, in their opinion or by their observation, people with reasonably chill, non-biased perspectives won't find it offensive.

Yes, this argument is usually very subjective, and yes, people can and do abuse this method of argument all the time. But what is or isn't offensive is also extremely subjective, and angry people abuse offence-taking all the time too, as a way of being self-righteously angry, and as a way of becoming even more self-righteously angry if someone dares to question the righteousness of their anger.

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(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 10:52 (UTC) - Expand

I remember a secret from some years (I think?) ago. The trans OP claimed that crosdressing men were offensive to trans women, which is 100% bullshit. Then we have things like blackface that I think we'll all agree that it is offensive.

There's a difference between things that are actually offensive and things that make some people feel offended.

Oh, look, it's the anon from awhile back who wouldn't accept real people telling them that "trap" was offensive.

If by real people you mean the Tumblr crowd. The world doesn't revolve around you, honey.