fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4426 ]

05. https://i.imgur.com/JEW7ad6.jpg

I'm one of those that gets annoyed by the "you're talented" compliments. Something about it does come off as backhanded and dismissive of all the blood, sweat, and tears you've put into your work. And it's often said with a hint of pettiness or jealousy, which doesn't help.

nine times out of ten you are probably projecting

Projecting in what way?

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-16 22:32 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-16 22:51 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-16 22:57 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-17 00:53 (UTC) - Expand

I'm really skeptical and suspect this has got more to do with your (and OP's friend's apparently) baggage than what the person complimenting you actually intends.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-16 22:59 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-16 23:25 (UTC) - Expand

I just hate it when I try to give someone a sincere compliment and get a shitty reaction. I mean, sure I guess it's your right to reject a compliment but it's unpleasant.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-17 01:49 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-17 02:59 (UTC) - Expand

I'm good at interior design and putting a wardrobe together, and yes, I've looked at thousands of rooms and outfits, but I also have a good eye for scale and form and color. It is a talent.

Most good artists do have an innate sense of what works in a composition and can imagine how something will look, which is different than being able to actually create a piece of art -- that requires honing your skills, yeah, but talent is having both things.

If you had a good eye and no ability to create because you didn't take the time to learn to do so, you'd probably be good at curating art instead of creating it.

Reminds me of rich people being offended when told they're lucky and insisting they earned every cent of their money, lol.

I mean, some did work hard and for long hours and busted their ass to get there. No denying that. They were also really lucky to have started their business when they did, or hit success with it, or didn't run into any number of major permanent setbacks, etc etc, because lots of other people did the same thing and put in as much effort, and failed.

It's the same with talent and practice... to be really, really good, you need to have both. Just one or the other won't get you there.

Why can't people just acknowledge it takes a bit of both?

+1

People who go "there's no such thing as talent, it's ALL just work"(usually implying that anyone could do what they do if they just worked hard enough) remind me a lot of those kinds of people who insist there's no such thing as privilege.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-16 22:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-16 23:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-16 23:09 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-16 23:21 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-17 01:11 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-17 01:35 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-17 04:45 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-17 05:55 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-17 15:39 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-17 18:27 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-16 23:11 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-16 23:17 (UTC) - Expand

I completely agree with you. I have a friend who is the same way. For some reason it seems to bother him that raw talent is a factor in how good people are at things. Maybe it's the uncertainty that bothers him? Like, if excellence is 99% hard work, then you could become great at absolutely anything if you really wanted to. Whereas if talent is the difference between getting good at something and getting great, then you no longer have that certainty. Whatever thing you decide to take up, it's entirely possible - if not probable - that you'll eventually max out at "I'm good at this but I'm not great."

The flip side, though, is that some people really do put too much emphasis on talent, and I can absolutely understand why that would be insulting to people who have worked hard to develop their skills at something.

To me, talent is basically just another way of saying aptitude. If you have an aptitude for something, that's great, and it's definitely going to give you an advantage, but if you don't work at it, aptitude alone probably isn't going to get you anywhere.

Huh. Talent to me never implies sheer raw skill, but rather that you've put a lot of hard work in to become talented.

MTE. I'm laughing at the idea of like, a juggler or a gymnast giving someone the same lecture as if there could be any mistake about whether they had to practice.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-17 00:21 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

ninety6tears - 2019-02-17 00:49 (UTC) - Expand

Skill is what you gain by practice, talent is in-born.

Oh yeah, talent is a thing.

Sincerely, someone who has always wanted to be good at drawing and spent middle school in art classes with someone who could draw things most of us would've needed years of intense tutoring to learn. On the other hand, I'll know song lyrics by heart after the third time my choir has sung through them.

I had a writing teacher once that said that to be successful at creative endeavor you needed at least two of the following three things:

- motivation (drive to create / practice)
- skill (develops with training and practice, though can be self-taught)
- natural talent (which they considered a perceptual/brain processing thing)

Perhaps this artist gets angry because stressing their talent makes it sound as if their art just flows out effortlessly?

Well, it does say 'TWO of the following', so in some cases talent may indeed be not present.
I get a bit annoyed too when people call me talented, cos it does sound a lot of the time like it's the only reason I'm any good at drawing. In reality, it took me 20 years to become good - maybe there is some talent in me, after all, but more like, yeah, I like the process of drawing and I understand colouring slightly better than an average person.
In the same time - I can carry a tune decently, but no one calls me a talented singer because I was never trained to sing and didn't spend 20 years practising.

(no subject)

soldatsasha - 2019-02-17 04:47 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-17 04:55 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-17 11:42 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-17 12:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-17 15:42 (UTC) - Expand

Geez, your friends sound like she needs to switch to decaf. Being complimented on one's talent isn't being simultaneously denied recognition for one's hard work. The two concepts aren't mutually exclusive. But even if they were, your friend is rude and ungracious to snap at people like that.

Natural, inborn talent is a thing, though. I have a friend who is a trained singer, but the entire reason she ended up getting training in the first place was that she naturally has perfect pitch and can remember the melody to a song after only hearing it once or twice. Sure, she'd be a good singer without those things, but with them she's amazing, and they're both things that can't be taught. You either have them or you don't.

Singing is hard work but there is nothing more annoying than an amazing singer who thinks anyone could do it with time and lessons. And when it comes to pitch and good rhythm, yeah, you either have it or you don't.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-17 05:42 (UTC) - Expand

I understand being frustrated by “you’re so talented” comments if you’re busting your ass to improve your work, but it’s probably not intended in such a reductive way. Plus, natural aptitude is also a thing.

I think it’s pretty easy to say something like, “Thank you, I’ve spent a lot of time practicing [technique] so I’m glad it shows!” Or if it’s a really woe-is-me-I’ll-never-be-as-good-as-you type of comment, “That gave me a hard time for a while but I found [X] helpful to improve.”

“Thank you, I’ve spent a lot of time practicing [technique] so I’m glad it shows!”

That's a really neat way to handle it. I'll use that next time myself!

Weird. I never thought of talent as separate from the results of working hard to become good at something. If someone says you're talented at X, to me it just means you're good at X. It doesn't carry any implications about why you're good at it.

on the one hand the reaction sounds over the top, on the other, there's a lot of people who're currently pretty broken human beings due to the emphasis of their work being talent not skill causing them to developing both depression and a massive gap in their skill sets because their self worth becomes tied to the capacity to excel without effort and failing to develop the necessary skills to do anything with talent due to completely failing to develop the skill of applying effort so when they need to try the shit hits the fan.