fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4655 ]

[ SECRET POST #4655 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4655 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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08. [SPOILERS for Chicago Med]

[Conner/Ava]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #666.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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For all your ranting/venting needs.

Still sick and not feeling great. Also, someone stole my new credit card out of my mailbox, so been having to deal with that on top of not feeling well.

That's horrible! Hopefully it gets sorted out soon!

Life, can you just stop sucking and thoroughly unfuck yourself? Please?

After literal years of procrastination (severe depression, family issues etc.) I finally decided to finish that final thesis that is the only thing keeping me from my Uni degree. I've kept an eye on the Professor who I worked the topic out with in the past and he's still there and he was really nice in the past so I still had some hope he'd still accept it.

Today, I was checking up on his offices hours and read he's taking a sabbatical this semester. I basically had a small panic attack but this was the thing that ultimately made me finally write him an email if there even is a chance that I could still hand in my thesis to him. This was a really big step for me and my anxiety eroded brain so on one hand, I'm relieved that I finally, finally took that step, on the other hand, I'm in a state of anxious, stressed out near-panic about the reply. I have no idea how to get any sleep right now.

Good luck! Hopefully he'll accept it, or have a good reference to send it too if he can't do it!

Re: Rant and Vent Thread

(Anonymous) - 2019-10-05 05:04 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Rant and Vent Thread

(Anonymous) - 2019-10-05 08:22 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Rant and Vent Thread

(Anonymous) - 2019-10-05 21:10 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Rant and Vent Thread

(Anonymous) - 2019-10-05 21:21 (UTC) - Expand

Shoutout to this person for reminding me why I hate engaging fandom people on Twitter. I was sharing a headcanon with a person I've been slowly getting to know, and an entirely separate party came in to tell me why I'm wrong and how my opinion on an event "doesn't work that way" and such. Like... who asked you? You weren't part of this conversation? Gtfo?

Of course it was a stan for the character I was talking about, who I wasn't even disparaging, but apparently they read it as such. I'm just... mind-blown. It's so fucking rude! Who acts like this? I've seen a lot of Bad Takes about my favorite character, but I don't butt into other people's conversations and lambast them about it. It literally doesn't affect me.

Ghhhghghhggh I'm so annoyed. I'm not going to give them the satisfaction of a reply, but good god.

So I went to the doctor this morning after my digestive system spent a week and change going “fuck off and die” to the rest of me.

This resulted in four vials of blood being drawn and being given five more vials to go home and fill with crap. I was gonna go get something to eat, come back, fill up the vile vials in the restroom at the doctor’s office, and enjoy the rest of my day off.

No dice. If one of the tests was positive, they’d have to quarantine the restroom; so home I went. I ate a salad and some veggie samosas, my first real meal since Monday, went and bought some ice, because four of the, er, samples have to be kept on ice, came home, sat on the toilet, and waited. And waited.

Nothing. After three days of lurking within sprinting distance of a bathroom at all times and eating less than 500 calories a day for fear of the end product, I can just hear my innards... “we’re exhausted! Give us a fucking break!”

I’m seeing a play tonight, but now, I can see my future. It’s the middle of the first act, and my body is like “you know how I wouldn’t let you shit earlier? If you’re not in the bathroom in ten seconds, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

I guess I’ll just eat nothing but fiber all day Sunday and drop them off Monday on the way to work.

This sounds kinda like IBS-A (alternate), alternate diarrhea and constipation. I have it, mine is triggered by stress and extreme spicy foods. I don't know if its what you have but its a possibility. Anyway I hope you feel better soon.

Re: Rant and Vent Thread

(Anonymous) - 2019-10-05 00:35 (UTC) - Expand

That sucks.

I got my period yesterday and have been feeling really achy and nauseous. The kid who ate his poop at work today totally didn't help with the nausea.

>kid who ate his poop at work today

The what now?

Re: Rant and Vent Thread

(Anonymous) - 2019-10-04 23:58 (UTC) - Expand

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

This late-stage capitalism is ruining almost everyone's lives.

I was just about to post saying I can't find an affordable place to live, but you've covered it.

For real.

Nah, still loving choice!

On that note, I could do without the monopolies, though.

Re: Rant and Vent Thread

(Anonymous) - 2019-10-05 00:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Rant and Vent Thread

(Anonymous) - 2019-10-05 01:45 (UTC) - Expand

I just found out a commercial I was in bought further rights to air the commercial, which means I get paid an additional $3200. Which is amazing.

Except.

My government disability only allows me to make 12K a year, and I just hit 12K two days ago. So I just made $3200 and I dont get to keep any of it. In fact, since I'll still have to pay CPP on the money I can't keep, it's actually going to cost me money.

I dont even know how to feel rn. JFC. It's surreal.

Can you get the money and turn it over to someone as a payment for some...thing, or put it in some kind of investment thing or something? So that you get to 'keep' it without using it?

My sis in law had the same issue of getting a big chunk of child support in one go ( someone died, ex-dad got money), and the SNAP/welfare people telling her she couldn't put it in savings or anything, she had to spend it or she'd lose a bunch of her SNAP/whatever, because that would put her over the line. She wanted it for an emergency fund, but they said no.

Fucking ridiculous.

Re: Rant and Vent Thread

(Anonymous) - 2019-10-05 03:46 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Rant and Vent Thread

tabaqui - 2019-10-05 13:29 (UTC) - Expand

There should be special trusts for disability you can arrange for it to be paid into. Call up your case worker and ask about it.

Re: Rant and Vent Thread

(Anonymous) - 2019-10-05 10:03 (UTC) - Expand

Apparently, depression is supposed to be “I’m numb all the time and I don’t care about anything”. If that’s the case, then what is it that I have that just makes me feel really sad for no reason? Why can’t I even have the normal form of a mental disorder so I can at least relate to others, instead of what preteens think the disorder is supposed to be? It’s frustrating to see “relatable” posts about depression and think “not me”.

I know outright wishing for other people’s problems is wrong, but I wish I felt a big gaping hole of nothing. I’ve always felt too much (after 20 years of being written off as a dramatic brat, psychs decided that I wasn’t exaggerating; surprise, parents and teachers!) and I’ve always thought that I would give anything to be numb. I’d gladly sacrifice my positive emotions to get rid of my negative ones and feel nothing at all.

That is all depression, much like insomnia, it comes in many different forms and woes. Everyone is different, and will react differently as their lifestyles and depression manifests. I don't think it's bad at all to try to find something to relate to when you feel so down. Even if that means wishing your condition on those around you. There's nothing wrong with wanting someone to be there with you to talk to. <33

For different forms of depression:
https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-types#1

Personally I've gone through the 'not feeling anything' depression, (currently actually) and have been battling various forms of it for most my life. In the early days of taking my most recent medication, I actually wished for that feeling back because (while I was still suffering) even the most basic of chores became tedious, where as before I was so given up on myself I only did them because I knew it would cause problems with those I lived with.

Best of luck! I'm glad people are finally hearing you for you, hopefully you'll find content more suited to you in the future!

I can relate to this. I don’t really connect to the whole “feeling numb all the time” description of depression either. For me depression is mostly just being either exhausted or one tiny nudge away from exhausted, 100% of the time - like I’m a battery that won’t hold a charge. And not feeling much of a positivity kick when I do manage to accomplish something.

But I do have short periods of deep sadness sometimes, and I can imagine how hard it must be to live with that feeling all the time. I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Seconding that everyone is different and depression comes in a wide variety of awful.

I am INCREDIBLY irritated at a thing not worth mentioning and it's driving me mad that I'm mad in the first place. It's like an endless cycle of being mad. It's just so.... AODISFJADSOIFJSA I AM SO MAD. /FLIPS A GODDAMN POOL AND SETS IT ON FIRE

MAD.

Edited 2019-10-05 10:50 (UTC)

I uploaded some asian web novells on the book site, kinda like GoodReads but the moderators didn't like the title format where you have JapanesTitle/TranslationTitle_1/Tran.Title_2 and changed everything. Come on it's the most convenient way! I guess I'd have to register on Novelupdates if I want to discuss the books. I'm so bad at keeping up with multiple sites...

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