fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5490 ]

[ SECRET POST #5490 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5490 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 32 secrets from Secret Submission Post #786.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I can't stand restaurants that won't show you a menu without sending you to some place as if you were ordering it.

Book blurbs that do the "FOR FANS OF" thing. I understand why they do it, but it always makes me assume that the book is incredibly derivative and a cheap cash-in on something that happens to be popular. And also, if everything is "for fans of The Expanse", then nothing is (can you tell I've been looking for a lot of science fiction recently?).

I am still angry, forty years later, for buying 'The Sword of Shannara' because of the blurb that said it was like LoTR. And in a way it is, i.e. a total ripoff. And in other ways, ,like in quality - definitely not.

Re: Stupid things that piss you off...

(Anonymous) - 2022-01-17 00:01 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Stupid things that piss you off...

(Anonymous) - 2022-01-17 00:18 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Stupid things that piss you off...

(Anonymous) - 2022-01-17 00:22 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Stupid things that piss you off...

(Anonymous) - 2022-01-17 00:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Stupid things that piss you off...

(Anonymous) - 2022-01-17 00:32 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Stupid things that piss you off...

(Anonymous) - 2022-01-17 01:04 (UTC) - Expand

God, I hate this as well as blurbs that are just reviews. I want a summary of the damn book, not a bunch of glowing reviews for it (or worse, glowing reviews for the author’s previous book).

Re: Stupid things that piss you off...

(Anonymous) - 2022-01-17 00:07 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Stupid things that piss you off...

(Anonymous) - 2022-01-17 02:55 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Stupid things that piss you off...

(Anonymous) - 2022-01-17 03:13 (UTC) - Expand

I agree. Also book blurbs that are actually just reviews. Tell me what the book is about, for goodness sake. I want to know enough to know if I"m interested. If I want reviews, I can find them easily. Use your blurb to explain your book.

(Cozy Werewolf Anon)

I hate this too. I do. And I have TRIED, and I do mean TRIED to shout from the rooftops what a blurb ACTUALLY is to indie authors. To no avail. (And look, I just got something in my inbox about 'would you review my book it's like X and Y' instead of a goddamn SUMMARY, way to make me grind my teeth. No. I haven't checked the first five chapters yet.)

Comparison books/shows, reviews of the book, if it won an award, I don't care, it goes to the bottom of the dang blurb. (I mean, we have to have log line, then blurb now on Zon, geez.) I want to know Character X faces down Situation Y, with Stake Z on the line IN SPACE. (Or something.)

Because if your book is for the fans of Harry Potter, it better, by god, be a magical school fantasy starting in the MG area and you put that at the bottom or I don't want to see it. Seriously, the only one I saw remotely accurate was Big Bang Theory meets Star Wars and I STILL had to go "okay this story stops halfway through it AND skip the prologue, otherwise, fun."

Myself.

I mean that's healthy, right?

Dunno if it’s healthy, but it is definitely relatable.

https://twitter.com/Brandon_Bird/status/1424902568459735071

The fact that I didn't learn of the awesomeness of Screaming Mad George until just yesterday.

My adult cat just tried to use me as a cat tree again; idk why she's suddenly doing this, but she just ripped a hole in my new skirt, to go with all the holes she's put in my skin since she started trying to climb up my body and sit on my head.

Bad cat!

In the midst of all the many more serious things pissing me off at the moment, the old cell phone I was using as a backup and white noise machine (due to battery flakiness) seems to have finally given up the ghost. Last night. At around 4am. While I was using it as a white noise machine, and the physical pain had just eased enough that I was starting to drift off to sleep.

So after confirming that I couldn't get it to boot all the way up again, I went to use the same app on my main phone, only to discover that the audio cable jack I used to output the white noise to a speaker doesn't fit all the way into the hole in my phone case. So I had to turn on the light and wrestle the phone case off and get that phone's version of the white noise app configured, and by the time I had it set up and could turn off the lights again it was 5am and I was wide awake.

...Mostly it's that stupid audio jack. I'm not sure if the cable was poorly designed and the plastic part was thicker than most, or if the case was poorly designed and narrower than most.

When a recipe calls for one rib of celery.

I'm not spending more to buy a small container of pre-chopped celery than an entire bunch, so I guess I'm buying the entire bunch and using one rib. With most other ingredients I can figure out how to use them up pretty easily but not celery. If I'm making soup for this week's lunches and the soup only needs one rib of celery... what do I do? Make seven other kinds of soup that each only need one rib? Make stir fry when I already have soup for lunch? I think the celery and/or soup people are in league with the hummus people because if I have to buy a bunch of celery to get one rib for a recipe, I'm inevitably buying a tub of hummus to eat the rest of the celery with.

TL;DR making a recipe that calls for one rib of celery should be illegal.

I wash, chop and stick the extra celery in a freezer bag for future recipes. It's easy enough to break off approximately one rib's worth of chopped celery and if it's for soup, the soggy texture isn't a problem.

Re: Stupid things that piss you off...

(Anonymous) - 2022-01-17 02:58 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Stupid things that piss you off...

(Anonymous) - 2022-01-17 17:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Stupid things that piss you off...

(Anonymous) - 2022-01-17 19:28 (UTC) - Expand

My kitchen light is busted and the maintenance staff in my apt bldg is notorious for not showing up.

The fawning, gushing, fake-positivity bullshit a lot of people in the craftsphere (?) do. It's like if Live Laugh Love was a person but not a genuine one. I'm allergic to bullshit and I just want to know how to make some goddamn mittens Sarah stop using these tutorials as your fucking vlog.

I guess there's a lot of people out there who like that persona/personality/attitude, and considering the popularity I understand some people playing into the intended audience but it's SO EXHAUSTING and annoying. I prefer dry, written tutorials now for a reason.

Oh man yes. Silent crochet/knitting/sewing tutorials with sub titles are the best invention ever.

I just want to know how to make it, I don't need your weird fakeness to go with it.

People who park on the street when they have a driveway. My street is always a maze to navigate because of how many cars are on it, in spite of the fact that we all have driveways behind our houses, and most of us have garages as well. If people have a bunch of cars and can't all fit, cool. But a lot of driveways on my street are left empty. People are just too lazy to park behind.

Oh gosh, I have this same problem and because my street has a 90 degree curve a few houses down and then another a few houses later, when everyone's parking on the street right at one of those curves, it makes it a blind corner. And it's not a wide street by any means - if someone's parked on one side, you can MAYBE fit two cars going in opposite directions past it. If people park on both sides of the street it becomes a one-lane road. With a blind corner. Which is really not fun.

Man I don't get that at all, I would kill to have a driveway so I didn't have to park on the street? Why on earth would anyone who has a perfectly good driveway want to park on the street instead and risk getting their car bumped by people who can't park worth shit?

My city has night parking rules where you can only park your car overnight on the side of the street with even addresses on even-numbered days of the month and on the side with odd addresses on odd-numbered days of the month, AND you need to buy a permit from the city to park your car on the street overnight (you can get short-term permission for free online, though). That tends to discourage people from parking on the street when they have off-street parking. Much of my neighborhood pre-dates when the automobile became ubiquitous and the rest pre-dates the night parking rules, so there are actually a lot of houses/apartments that don't have off-street parking or don't have more than one space, so there are still a lot of cars on the street at night, but it's not too bad.

Oh oh we have a challenger! I just looked at my Facebook feed and basically made this face because there was a new post at the top from the trainwreck I've mentioned a couple times whose new thing is "Never date or marry poor. Always marry or date rich. Never associate with poor people."

The first part I was reading and rolling my eyes, then I got to the last line and...

What do you do if you were born into a poor family?
What do you do if you were born into a poor country? 🇨🇳
What do you do if all your friends were bad influences?
We cannot chose which family we were born into, or who our parents were.
If you are poor, you gotta play the hands you were dealt with.
That's why Asians work so hard.

WTACTUALF DUDE.

I really should unfollow him by now but I love seeing people smack him down.

Edited 2022-01-17 02:04 (UTC)