[ SECRET POST #6220 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6220 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Earth Girl]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 21 secrets from Secret Submission Post #889.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

General comments:

(If the thread contains spoilery/triggery content please warn/post as 2nd comment so it collapses!
Please collapse images, too!)

People that post on ao3

[(Anonymous)]

Does editing a completed fic bump it up to new fics? Is that how someone keeps a one shot as a new fic for days?

Re: People that post on ao3

[(Anonymous)]

No. I’ve edited fics with typos in them and it doesn’t bump them back up.

Re: People that post on ao3

[(Anonymous)]

Editing won't do that unless you add a new chapter, I'm pretty sure. It is possible to change the publication date pretty easily and some jagoffs will do that a lot.

Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Because I mad and I want to vent.

Posting mine in the first comment.

[(Anonymous)]

This is the second year in a row that a particular friend of mine has backed out of a planned group trip at the last minute. I'm supremely pissed because I only agreed to go because I did the cost breakdown for the room based on the number of people I was told were going and decided that I could afford to swing it! But now I'm fucked because it's going to cost me more than I had planned and I can't pull out because I've already bought my transportation and tickets to the event and they're non-refundable.

I wouldn't be mad if this was a one-off because hey, life happens! Another friend had to cancel because his dad ended up needing unexpected surgery and he had to be around to help out since there was no one else who could do it. That's fine! I wouldn't complain about having to eat the extra cost for something like that. But this is the second time this has happened and it's NOT an emergency, and I'm fucking pissed. Don't commit to going to something if you're going to be wishy-washy and back out at the last second! I mean, hell, I told my friends up front when they were planning the trip that I wasn't sure whether or not I would be able to attend, but that I would appreciate if they kept a space open for me in their considerations. If they had said they couldn't do that, that would have been fine since I wasn't able to commit. But I didn't say I was going to go and then turn around and go "LOL actually."

The irony is that she said she couldn't go and then ended it with "but I'm coming next year for sure, tee hee!" Yeah, no, fuck off. I'm going to recommend to my friends that we just not invite her next time, because seriously, what the fuck.

[(Anonymous)]

Ugh, that sounds infuriating. If you're not able to back out/transfer your tickets, then I hope you guys have an amazing time without that friend.

[(Anonymous)]

Either that or she pays her share upfront, non-refundable regardless of whether or not she changes her mind. Flaking twice and letting other people bear the increased cost is a real jerk move.

[(Anonymous)]

Fuck that friend and I'd tell her exactly why she's not welcome next year.

[(Anonymous)]

Fuck her to hell. This is so vile. I had version of her behavior when I was younger and it was shitty of me. (Once I ditched friend's wedding. But it was weird situation all around so well. What's done) But never around trips! You don't do it after days and days of planning and money managing.

Is there any chance to invite someone else instead?

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I hate work and I hate hating working because I need the work to make the money to live. I know it's crazy right now but I feel like I am drowning instead of doing my part to keep the ship afloat and everybody's too fucking busy to notice there's a leak and I'm the only idiot who doesn't just notice it, I'm the one who let it get that bad. And I just want to scream because I feel like I'm doing all the things I'm supposed to do and none of it is working and I'm too dumb to figure out a better solution and nobody can help me because everyone's got their own shit too.

Here's hoping things will suck less these next few weeks but goddamn if I'm holding my breath, life is disappointing me too goddamn much.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Man, I hear you, OP. I hope things get better.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Ever feel like you never really actually knew someone?

I wrote here awhile back about a friend who'd exploded at me after a week of bizarre behavior. In the days after, it got worse: she kept pressuring me to do something, and needed it to be on a day when I wasn't available. At the height of her pressure campaign, she sent me the most cruel and vile message I've ever received from anyone -- and I was straight up bullied in middle school. People who've hated me have been kinder than she was.

This friendship, as you can imagine, has now ended. I won't accept someone treating me the way she did, but I also can't stop thinking about her and the past several years. Who was she really, during all that time? Many of her relationships, romantic and platonic, ended dramatically over the time I knew her. I only ever heard her side. What's the other side? And why wasn't I able to see that as a flag? It's one thing to occasionally have a relationship go down in flames; it's another when they seem to do so regularly. But, you know, she'd always seemed fine to me.

I'm so...turned around over it. How could my judgement have been so off, for so long?

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Some folks are just good at hiding their crazy... but even they can't hide the crazy forever.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Some people are just practiced at putting on a mask and fooling others. She may have put extra effort into maintaining that facade around you, and this time, it slipped. Have there been other occasions where you told her no? Because that's often the catalyst for narcissists - they get along swimmingly with you and you're BFFs so long as you go with their flow. But if you start saying no or wanting to do something different, BAM their inner psycho comes out to play.

Don't beat yourself up. You did a good and extremely hard thing by drawing that firm boundary and removing yourself from a toxic situation. A lot of people struggle with that and end up stuck in relationships like this for years.

Re: Vent thread

[meadowphoenix]

you're only human and you can only calibrate your judgment on what you've already experienced. a lot of people, if not the majority, calibrate by hot stove. we will never experience everything, we will always have blind spots. if you've never had a arsonist friend before, it's easy not to clock one even if you've heard about their string of burned bridges. but now you have a better picture of what arsonists look like! and if you have had an arsonist friend before, you can think about what traits make them worth it to you before they light a torch and you can see if you can find that elsewhere. either way, boom, better judgment.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I do not want to justify your friend here since she seems pretty vile and it seems like she has a lot of problems, but:
>>exploded at me after a week of bizarre behavior.
This look like bipolar disorder to me. I say this because I have bipolar disorder and I've said some pretty vile unjustifiable stuff at the peak of one of my manic episode. ("fun" fact: mania sometimes erase my memory so I actually don't know what I say or do if I don't have written proof. I'm not the only one in this.)

So yeah, do not shame yourself. People with mood disorders (bipolar etc) or behavioural disorders are pretty good at masking and making other people perceive them as "normal". It's how we survive.

My suggestion is this: let it go. You didn't do anything bad. And you can't save her. This person possibly suffer from stuff they are not even aware of and until they are under treatment and begin treating people like they deserve you better keep your distance. Stay safe, nonny.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I think this is more of a "confused whine" than a vent. But I have one (1) fandom friend who is really, really, super into my writing. I love her so much. But she's kind of the only person who is into me. She keeps nudging me to share and promote my work, and when I do, she reblogs it, and one other person likes it, and that's it. Every time. We did a "share what you're working on" game on Tumblr today; my friend got 10 asks about her stuff, another friend who I tagged to do it got 8 asks, and I got... 2. And I KNOW comparison is the thief of joy. I know, I know, I know. And it's really sweet she keeps including me, but like... I kind of wish she wouldn't because it just becomes glaringly obvious on my end how little people care about my writing. I haven't said anything to her, though, because I just sound whiny and self-pitying. (And I probably am. :/ )

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I have a few fics that I absolutelly love and reread that are unpopular and I'm baffled as to why.

Also very surprised that Tumblr is still alive. The site doesn't even let me use it if I don't log in.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Be honest with your friend. Tell her you feel awful, you don't actively compare your works to hers but you still feel like shit. If you want out of being involved with writing talks tell her so.

I lost a friend because of this weird comparison thing when it came to our writings. I felt like my friend was shutting me out and I just wanted a friend to squee and gab over our fiction writings together with. What happened instead was that I began to doubt myself and get caught up in things that didn't help my creativity or my friendship.

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. It's a really tough situation to be in.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

My dad has a minor hearing issue that's part of old age. He thinks it'll be too much of a bother to get hearing aids even though he can certainly afford them. And most of the time it's not a big deal, he's not missing out on conversations or anything. But every once in a while, he'll mishear something and for some reason, he never stops to think, "Wait, sometimes I don't hear so well, I'll ask that person to repeat themselves" he just assumes that WE are the ones who misheard or misspoke and will correct us only to be told that no, you thought we said X, but we said Y.

Which is what it is. But the problem is that he LOVES catching other people in mistakes, it's a slightly toxic trait of his that he'll point it out to the whole room with gloating chuckles and ridicule, then smugly correct the mistake. And... he regards anything that's not exactly how he would do it as a mistake. Also if he thinks you're wrong because of [vague reasons/Facebook research/random brainfart] then you've made a mistake, cue the attention and ridicule. This is exactly what he does every time he mishears something and I'm getting a little tired of politely, gently correcting him to spare his feelings when he's got so little regard for anyone else's feelings. It happens once per conversation, you'd think he'd learn not keep putting his foot in his mouth, but nope.

Re: Vent thread

[meadowphoenix]

does it get worse with more targets or once he's corrected something once or twice he's done? does it get worse if you blandly acknowledge and move on or does it throw him off? does he get mad if you respond to his mistakes similarly or is he chagrined? would you feel better if you deliberately gave him something small to correct? i don't know if will change your dad's behavior, but it can be helpful mentally if you treat the interaction like a science experiment where you see what happens when you change your response. and if there are differences, it might be easier for you to redirect him.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Why continue to be careful of his feelings when he doesn't care about anyone else's?

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I am doing job hunting right now. It's going fine, but I am overwhelmed and tired from maintaining freelance job, and doing test tasks and job interviews etc. I am going around from doing ok to having ridiculous amount of self-doubt. I regret all my choices and I am having full-blown midlife crisis.
I've deleted right now a whole paragraph of me being self-deprecating. So yeah, I am doing great ahaha

Re: Vent thread

[philstar22]

Ugh this weather. Has triggered a migraine that won't go away. Ended up having to go to urgent care and take 3 hours of sick time from work.