Case (
case) wrote in
fandomsecrets2024-01-16 06:07 pm
[ SECRET POST #6220 ]
⌈ Secret Post #6220 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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[Earth Girl]
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 21 secrets from Secret Submission Post #889.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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People that post on ao3
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 01:51 am (UTC)(link)Re: People that post on ao3
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 01:54 am (UTC)(link)Re: People that post on ao3
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 01:55 am (UTC)(link)Vent thread
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 01:59 am (UTC)(link)Posting mine in the first comment.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 02:07 am (UTC)(link)I wouldn't be mad if this was a one-off because hey, life happens! Another friend had to cancel because his dad ended up needing unexpected surgery and he had to be around to help out since there was no one else who could do it. That's fine! I wouldn't complain about having to eat the extra cost for something like that. But this is the second time this has happened and it's NOT an emergency, and I'm fucking pissed. Don't commit to going to something if you're going to be wishy-washy and back out at the last second! I mean, hell, I told my friends up front when they were planning the trip that I wasn't sure whether or not I would be able to attend, but that I would appreciate if they kept a space open for me in their considerations. If they had said they couldn't do that, that would have been fine since I wasn't able to commit. But I didn't say I was going to go and then turn around and go "LOL actually."
The irony is that she said she couldn't go and then ended it with "but I'm coming next year for sure, tee hee!" Yeah, no, fuck off. I'm going to recommend to my friends that we just not invite her next time, because seriously, what the fuck.
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(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 02:17 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 03:31 am (UTC)(link)(no subject)
(Anonymous) - 2024-01-17 04:43 (UTC) - Expand(no subject)
(Anonymous) - 2024-01-17 05:42 (UTC) - Expandno subject
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 03:44 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 05:26 am (UTC)(link)Is there any chance to invite someone else instead?
Re: Vent thread
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 02:09 am (UTC)(link)Here's hoping things will suck less these next few weeks but goddamn if I'm holding my breath, life is disappointing me too goddamn much.
Re: Vent thread
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 03:43 am (UTC)(link)Re: Vent thread
(Anonymous) - 2024-01-17 03:56 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Vent thread
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 02:33 am (UTC)(link)I wrote here awhile back about a friend who'd exploded at me after a week of bizarre behavior. In the days after, it got worse: she kept pressuring me to do something, and needed it to be on a day when I wasn't available. At the height of her pressure campaign, she sent me the most cruel and vile message I've ever received from anyone -- and I was straight up bullied in middle school. People who've hated me have been kinder than she was.
This friendship, as you can imagine, has now ended. I won't accept someone treating me the way she did, but I also can't stop thinking about her and the past several years. Who was she really, during all that time? Many of her relationships, romantic and platonic, ended dramatically over the time I knew her. I only ever heard her side. What's the other side? And why wasn't I able to see that as a flag? It's one thing to occasionally have a relationship go down in flames; it's another when they seem to do so regularly. But, you know, she'd always seemed fine to me.
I'm so...turned around over it. How could my judgement have been so off, for so long?
Re: Vent thread
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 03:02 am (UTC)(link)Re: Vent thread
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 03:35 am (UTC)(link)Don't beat yourself up. You did a good and extremely hard thing by drawing that firm boundary and removing yourself from a toxic situation. A lot of people struggle with that and end up stuck in relationships like this for years.
Re: Vent thread
Re: Vent thread
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 02:07 pm (UTC)(link)>>exploded at me after a week of bizarre behavior.
This look like bipolar disorder to me. I say this because I have bipolar disorder and I've said some pretty vile unjustifiable stuff at the peak of one of my manic episode. ("fun" fact: mania sometimes erase my memory so I actually don't know what I say or do if I don't have written proof. I'm not the only one in this.)
So yeah, do not shame yourself. People with mood disorders (bipolar etc) or behavioural disorders are pretty good at masking and making other people perceive them as "normal". It's how we survive.
My suggestion is this: let it go. You didn't do anything bad. And you can't save her. This person possibly suffer from stuff they are not even aware of and until they are under treatment and begin treating people like they deserve you better keep your distance. Stay safe, nonny.
Re: Vent thread
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 02:45 am (UTC)(link)Re: Vent thread
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 02:55 am (UTC)(link)Also very surprised that Tumblr is still alive. The site doesn't even let me use it if I don't log in.
Re: Vent thread
(Anonymous) - 2024-01-17 02:57 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Vent thread
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 11:53 am (UTC)(link)I lost a friend because of this weird comparison thing when it came to our writings. I felt like my friend was shutting me out and I just wanted a friend to squee and gab over our fiction writings together with. What happened instead was that I began to doubt myself and get caught up in things that didn't help my creativity or my friendship.
I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. It's a really tough situation to be in.
Re: Vent thread
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 03:43 am (UTC)(link)Which is what it is. But the problem is that he LOVES catching other people in mistakes, it's a slightly toxic trait of his that he'll point it out to the whole room with gloating chuckles and ridicule, then smugly correct the mistake. And... he regards anything that's not exactly how he would do it as a mistake. Also if he thinks you're wrong because of [vague reasons/Facebook research/random brainfart] then you've made a mistake, cue the attention and ridicule. This is exactly what he does every time he mishears something and I'm getting a little tired of politely, gently correcting him to spare his feelings when he's got so little regard for anyone else's feelings. It happens once per conversation, you'd think he'd learn not keep putting his foot in his mouth, but nope.
Re: Vent thread
Re: Vent thread
(Anonymous) - 2024-01-17 05:46 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Vent thread
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 05:36 am (UTC)(link)Re: Vent thread
(Anonymous) - 2024-01-17 05:47 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Vent thread
(Anonymous) - 2024-01-17 15:12 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Vent thread
(Anonymous) - 2024-01-17 14:20 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Vent thread
(Anonymous) 2024-01-17 05:45 am (UTC)(link)I've deleted right now a whole paragraph of me being self-deprecating. So yeah, I am doing great ahaha
Re: Vent thread
(Anonymous) - 2024-01-17 05:50 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Vent thread
(Anonymous) - 2024-01-17 09:34 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Vent thread