[ SECRET POST #092 ]

[grayout.livejournal.com]

⌈ Secret Post #092 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 61 secrets from Secret Submission Post #014.
Secrets Not Posted: 0 broken links, 0 not!secrets, 0 not!fandom.
Next Secret Post: Tomorrow, Sunday, April 8th, 2007.
Current Secret Submission Post: Here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[grayout.livejournal.com]

Wait, why? I think she meant she was annoyed with how her friend completely changed... isn't that sort of understandable? The fact that she thinks it's attention-seeking, well, that's personal opinion, but like, say one of your friends suddenly were all, "I'm gay!" and did a 180, you'd kinda be like... wut?

[ew-younerd.livejournal.com]

It has nothing to do with disagreeing with her being angry about her friend changing; it's to the extent of what she's attributing it to.

That way, it's justifiable to get angry whenever anyone fits in to a community.

Hate your friend when they start talking about Naruto instead of Bleach.

Hate your friend when they start listening to rock and dressing like a rocker rather than pop or whatever.

Please.

[grayout.livejournal.com]

That way, it's justifiable to get angry whenever anyone fits in to a community.

No, I was saying it's justifiable to get angry when someone changes in order to fit into a community.

What mangas they like and how they dress isn't really their... personality, you know?

Was that "please" really necessary?

[ew-younerd.livejournal.com]

No, I was saying it's justifiable to get angry when someone changes in order to fit into a community.

Are they changing their values and what makes them who they are, or are they just changing the way they dress and the pitch of their voice? Sorry, my friendships aren't based on such arbitrary things, but I guess to each their own.

I didn't mean to completely correlate manga and identifying with a sexuality, but friendships do end over fandom differences. In the end, it's all about intolerance and friendships being based on the fact that someone fits in to your social circle; once they deviate from it, people become judgmental. The powers of the monkeysphere.

[grayout.livejournal.com]

Are they changing their values and what makes them who they are

I don't know, are they? Is he? He isn't my friend, he's hers. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. I know people that HAVE changed their values and what makes them who they are over being gay, and that makes me really sad.

[ew-younerd.livejournal.com]

People change their values over everything, why are people alienating gays? I suppose I'm irritated because this didn't start just from talking about people changing in general. It was spurred from a secret that caused discussion talking about how campy gay men are attention whores. way to generalize someone's psychology.

[grayout.livejournal.com]

I don't think it was an attempt to alienate gays or even intended to alienate gays, it was just an example of when a campy gay guy was a turn off.

[ew-younerd.livejournal.com]

Yes, but because of how it was spurred (From partially agreeing with a concept or deviating from a secret that blatantly stated "I hate gays", as if 'real life' gays are not like 'fantasy' gays, since all gays are stereotypes :D). To me, men in general are a turn off. But if I saw a secret that was serious in saying "I hate men", I wouldn't go "I see where you're coming from because I'm not turned on by men, so therefore I can make fun of and hate aspects of them." in a serious tone.

Not to imply that that was what was said, but the way it was spurred was offensive.

[ironjill.livejournal.com]

Its the fact that as soon as my close friends were gay, they decided they had to crossdress, and that they had to talk with a lisp, and had to wear makeup...

I just...don't understand why people have to change to advertise something they've discovered about themselves. =/

[ew-younerd.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's just their way of saying "Wow, I feel alone; let me try desperately to fit in with someone else because society has pounded it into my head that I am different and I am abnormal and people need to tolerate and accept things about me."

[ironjill.livejournal.com]

Maybe it is. Its quite possible, and that sort of thing really makes me depressed, because if someone has to change the way they are because they feel alone, then there's something wrong with the society. My friend had a close-knit group of friends who love and care for him like a brother; me included, and to suddenly have to change to fit in? It doesn't sit well with me. I mean, maybe its because I've never felt that drive be accepted by everyone else...but I guess it just doesn't make sense to me.

[ew-younerd.livejournal.com]

But that's just the thing. I don't know your friend personally so please don't think I'm trying to say I know him better than you at all, that would be retarded of me. But in many of these cases, people basically go through a belated adolescent identity-phase stage, because they had to repress that part of themselves for so long, and acting like that will make them fit in with people who are like 'them', because even though people who aren't like them love them, they still feel alienated and 'different', and that's society's fault. If that makes sense?

[ironjill.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it does make sense. I've never really enjoyed the idea of "acting out" against the "evil corporate drone-ish way that everyone wants you to be" or something...because it always seems to be in the exact same ways that people act out? I mean, Its just a need to fit with people who may not even like them, and alienating friends...people that would stay with them forever and always give them a shoulder to cry on that I don't get...I mean...its like lying to yourself in a whole other way... and that's what someone would want to get away from...right?

[ew-younerd.livejournal.com]

It really is, and it's a sad thing, but I don't hold it against people :\ you know? It's a lot harder for men, since being gay in so many other men's eyes demasculates you, so sometimes they have no choice but to just act more feminine to fit in with girls :\ and be desirable to men. And that only applies to explain SOME of them. Every person is a complicated individual case.

[ironjill.livejournal.com]

lol, drunken/serious posting ftw. Its the best for realz~

I can see that affecting alot of your development, and I completely feel you, I just can never understand why who you love or prefer in a partner has to suddenly affect one's personality and the way they act for the rest of their life... I mean, it may have to do with the fact that I'm straight, but I've had SO many comments of "you're too tolerant, you have to be bi" or "everyone's really bisexual" that I see the same thing from homosexuals trying to "turn" (for the lack of a better word, and it sounds so... mean ;-; ) people who are straight to "discovering" they're gay... I mean, isn't that something for them to decide?

(BTW, I don't think you're burning hell, of if you are, I'm gonna be right beside you, because I have a WallPaper of Zombie!Jesus for Easter Sunday. ._.)

[ironjill.livejournal.com]

I never do think of that part, since My worldview is totally "EVERYONEISEQUALLOLZ"

...Don't tell me that! I'm a utopianist. :(

[some-kat.livejournal.com]

...I was actually trying to avoid saying anything on this subject, but you actually brought up something I really have to agree with you on.

I mean, it may have to do with the fact that I'm straight, but I've had SO many comments of "you're too tolerant, you have to be bi" or "everyone's really bisexual" that I see the same thing from homosexuals trying to "turn" (for the lack of a better word, and it sounds so... mean ;-; ) people who are straight to "discovering" they're gay... I mean, isn't that something for them to decide?

I remember when I was in highschool, almost every friend I had (except two) were trying to convince me that I just had to "find myself". It always bugged me because they were practically badgering me (not to say that all gays/bisexuals do, just these from my old school in particular). I finally just had to completely stop eating in public, participating in the activities I really loved doing, and just become almost completely anti-social to avoid them.

Granted, five years later, I have concluded that I'm bisexual, but that hasn't changed anything about me. I still act the same towards people as I always have, I still have the same beliefs I always have. I'm very happy with the person I am, all the faults and everything.

[ironjill.livejournal.com]

I really don't understand the "CONVERT, CONVERT, BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE" culture that there seems to be...

I just...don't...understand it at all...

[grayout.livejournal.com]

I don't, either. When my straight friends find out I'm bi they're all WTF you can't be bi, you don't act gay! and when my gay friends find out I'm bi, they're all you can't be bi, you don't act gay! and I'm like DDDD: why is everyone pressuring me to act gay!? WTF!!

[some-kat.livejournal.com]

I don't either.

Not saying this specifically implies to the subject matter at hand, but just something I've always noticed:

If you're different, society either wants you to convert, or doesn't want you at all. Meh.

[superheroine]

Just commenting from the sidelines of this:

Maybe they've always wanted to do that, but couldn't until their had their "excuse" to do it - the "I'm gay" part. You may see it as them changing to fit into a stereotype, but it could also be breaking out of the cocoon, so to speak.

Not that it's true in your case, but it works like that in a lot of scenarios.

[ironjill.livejournal.com]

Maybe. I just don't see why that would have to be. I just don't see how someone goes almost within a 3 month span from no lisp to having a lisp. It doesn't happen that way. I have a lisp, and it took me years to practice out of, and even now my close friends and fiancée can tell...its really something your born with, not something to suddenly gain because one has discovered and accepted something about themselves. (Lisps being the best facet I could conjure at the moment, since it actually happened.)