fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #092 ]

It just boils down to whether you truly believe in the person you are or not. I don't understand how people can fear being a lesbian just because of opinions, its as good as asking me to go hide myself because now the world views Asia as a place where terrorists are born. As prejudiced as that sounds, I'm being told that. Does this mean I start fearing to be an Asian?

But you are who you are, so if you are confident of your identity, nothing will shake that resolve that you who you are and people's opinions just don't count.

If they can't deal with opinions like how you can, then I'll have to say that's their problem and its really not society they can blame. And adding on. That person who posted that banner was entitled to his own opinion. We could all be logical and respected his own opinion. But calling him names, the people who used vulgar language... It just reflected very badly on how we all lack the capability of respecting each others views.

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Thats also where this comparison ends. Majority of kids don't grow up having their parents tell them day after day that being a lesbian is wrong. These opinions come from society.

You're not respecting the person. It's just the opinion. Like if I said I hated leather, am I going to get prank calls and letters of hate telling me I am an airhead? We can't possibly jump at every negative comment that was made on what we believed in. Don't you think thats mundane and tiring?

This is clearly going no where. Because what I experience here is different from what you're experiencing. I come from a girl school where lesbians make up 60% of the cohort. They don't care about how people view them, they go through countless counselling from the school but wth, they just continue being who they are and their proud of it.

They don't cave into society's demands, and they snog in public, hold hands in public, go out in public. I've heard my fair share of nasty opinions, but they ignore it, and choose to be nonchalant about it. Because they feel there's nothing to be so defensive or angry about, people don't understand and therefore they makes opinions carelessly.There is no point wasting time in making society understand, trying to get them to change or stop - because they won't, and it wouldn't happen any time soon.

So getting all defensive, upset about it in the end is just not worth it. Its about learning and let live. I just personally feel that your own personality and beliefs play a very big role.

This matter is being blown out of proportion.

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I won't comment further.

I apologize for offending you and for not having an intolerance for the person who posted that banner.

Wow, I'm astounded by the sheer dumbassery.

To address the issue of the matter being blown out of proportion, most of the people whom have been stating their opinion against the secret (that are not anonymous) have not used any hateful language. As stated before, the secret-maker is cloaked in the secure veil of internet anonymity. There can be no personal attacks declared on their character, there can only be disagreement with their opinion. I will not hate them for hating gays, I will not tell them it is not their right to write slash fanfiction while simultaneousely hating gays. However, a generalized statement in such a manner is going to get backlash.

Your personal experience has no bearing on any universal law or statistics, so sharing your personal experience with lesbians pretty much is a moot point in any argument concerning the secret maker. I was content to just make a comment saying "you're gay, lol" to the secret maker. However, the ensuing replies that somehow projected their own feelings on to a statement that left little room for interpretation baffled me and I furthered into questioning why they believe such things.

Your apathetic atittude towards societal stagnation of acceptance of anything different never got anyone anywhere. You're acting as if there were personal attacks in rebuttal against the secret maker. In fact, most have nothing to really say to the secret maker. They said "I hate gays." What can be said in return? "Well, uh, I don't and I think that's dumb?"

You're failing to differentiate between the opinion of an individual whom is making a sole statement that is applicable to an entire population regardless of personal character or creed, and someone disagreeing with hateful words. Sharing a different perspective in the long run is not disrespecting an opinion.

Thats also where this comparison ends. Majority of kids don't grow up having their parents tell them day after day that being a lesbian is wrong. These opinions come from society.

And where did their parents grow up? Yes, that is correct, in a society. And a good portion of parents would get irrationally angry at their children for coming out as homosexual.

Everything you are stating can be used in reverse-rebuttal against you. You speak of not getting defensive or wanting to change someone's opinion, of not caring what society thinks, and yet you're conversing with someone to do just that: change their opinion and get them to stop what they are saying.

If you are using your friends' personal experiences to prove a point, this is known as the logical fallacy called "proof by example", and it will get you nowhere in debate. If you are someone who thinks that just because oppression will never stop, that people are whining and blowing things out of proportion for fighting it instead of just 'living and let living' (this is also a fallacy since you are indicating it should only be applicable to the oppressed and not the oppressers, otherwise the live and let live rule would insinuate they stop the oppression), then you have a rather naive outlook on the world. People have social influence. You've been socially effected by everything around you, and if you can admit that then I have hope for you, my young child. But if you cannot, that is where this conversation ends forever.

Okay, look, seriously, stop this.

You're trying not to be hateful and you're trying not to be condescending (or maybe you are, it comes off that way 95% of the time), but you're "astounded by the sheer dumbassery" of this "young child."

If you're conversing to change the opinions of someone, you're not going to get them to change their minds by insulting them and generally being bitchy about the subject. In fact, you're just going to alienate people even more -- and you ARE doing it; I've had a number of people complain to me, personally, about it and how you're making them-as-a-group look bad.

Please. Just stop.

Young child was a joke. I call everyone kiddo and young child, I'm nineteen, two years older than this person, I doubt they're going to cry about it.

I'm making people as a group look bad? Who? All I'm doing is sharing my opinion! Isn't that what this entire thing is about?

Anyways, the fact that I'm making an 'entire group' look bad brings me joy. Kind of like saying how campy gay men convert to stereotypes or saying I HATE GAY PEOPLE makes people as a group look bad.

:) Your hypocracy is cracking me up.

I'm not trying to change the opinions of anyone. And I didn't mean 'her' dumbassery, I meant the dumbassery of this still going on.

But okay okay, I'll shut up forever. You can freeze replies to me if you want or something, I don't care. The internet tears have made my heart grow three times its size today, and I'm so sorry that me debating with people hurt people's feelings :( I'll just make secrets about hating them instead, that way I can get people to stick up for me!

..hypocrisy.

See? I'm an idiot, too :O

I'm just telling you what they said; don't shoot the messenger please.

If they don't cry about it, are they not insulted? I'm sorry, I don't understand where you're coming from. "I'M not insulted by this, so no one else should be?" There are ways to express opinions without being insulting at all.

That sarcasm really wasn't necessary.

You and I already came to an understanding. I thought this entire wank was done, but then someone drags it on a day later, claiming to 'just want to end it', but is clearly trying to put someone down for disagreeing, still.

I am honestly amused at people thinking ONE person is making THEM look bad. Why? Because I'm questioning what they think? I admit, I shouldn't have used the word dumbassery and I retract it. It was bitchy of me. I am just angry this is dragging on. And am aware I basically did no part in helping it stop by replying to this, but I felt it was necessary to point out the constant contradictory statements that are going on in this conversation.

That's not being condescending, it's showing someone that what they are saying has a double standard to it, just like how you've shown me that my 'hateful' language is a double standard.

If they don't cry about it, are they not insulted? I'm sorry, I don't understand where you're coming from. "I'M not insulted by this, so no one else should be?" There are ways to express opinions without being insulting at all.

That wasn't what I was trying to get, but okay. You can think that. I'm laughing at you coming to me telling me people are complaining about me making them look bad as a group, when those people were the ones that were sticking up for people just 'sharing their opinions' in the first place, no matter how relentless or incessantly offensive they may be.

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