fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6418 ]

[ SECRET POST #6418 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6418 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 10 secrets from Secret Submission Post #917.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Did you see this on a post from The Sports Memery, by chance? If so, that is a satire outlet. If you saw it from another source, I am curious where you first spotted it.

The root canal that I had recently is healing very well.

The thing that annoys me lately is if your kink is for a male character to have a vagina it seems like the only options anyone tries these days are to make him trans or go omegaverse, and both of those bring in a bunch of other worldbuilding and characterization baggage that's distracting whether you leave it out or put it in. I don't know this canon but it sounds like it would almost make more sense that he's a cis dude who just got stuck with a vagina because reasons. I miss "cis dude who has a vagina because reasons" fic.

What are you talking about? Google can’t find anything to support your claims.

That's false and just a fake meme.

I don't get the whole nine yards infantilization treatment from my parents. In a way, it's... a little worse? Because on some level they do understand I'm an adult, financially independent, living on my own, etc. But on the other hand they clearly still think of me as a kid - i.e. not that smart, unable to make good decisions, most stuff is just too hard for me and I'll probably fail so I should be more cautious and humble and not attempt it*, unable to figure out how to do basic adult stuff and needing supervision/instruction, etc. etc.

If I were to point this out, they'd strenuously deny it and be offended. As it is, I try to sort of nudge them discreetly by reminding them that I'm an adult who is [my age], I know how to do [basic adult skill] just fine, or by laying out my logical reasons for making this or that decision, which they reluctantly listen to and then reluctantly agree that my choice is the right one. But the next time this comes up, they're right back to acting like I'm a dimwit. A dimwit they love very much! But a dimwit nontheless. I'm about 30% hurt and 70% pissed af about it, but don't really see them changing any time soon.

* This is a particularly poisonous mindset that has really damaged me as an adult and led to issues of insecurity and being too scared to try things. Please don't do this to your kids.

When I was a kid, I wanted a replicator so bad! Okay, I still want one.

Two more women have made allegations about Neil Gaiman:

https://www.thebookseller.com/news/neil-gaiman-denies-new-sexual-assault-and-abuse-allegations-by-two-women

My Italian American father had the thickest accent, and he would routinely insert random Italian words in English sentences and expect everyone he met to understand him.

He always had to get someone else to answer the phone whenever voice mail prompts were involved.

A lot less than they used to, but my mother does still sometimes. My dad was much worse with this, though, and now that he's passed and honestly now that my mother needs me more for a lot of physical things she can't do, it happens much less often.

MY mother thinks I'm too dumb to know enough to take a towel to a swimming pool.

That sounds like my parents. It never got better. They always thought of and treated me like I was on the day I left home. I’m almost 50 and my only remaining parent still does this. It doesn’t really bother me anymore; while it sucks that my parents couldn’t be bothered to get to know me or take an interest in my life, it’s still been an awesome life. They’re the ones who have missed out, not me.

Not familiar with One Piece but I can buy the reasoning that in universes with magic or technology that can change sex/sexual characteristics, some individual people might want to still keep the boobs/vag/dick/etc they were born with but change other things just cuz why not. (Genderfuck/nonbinary/bodily autonomy/they're otherwise cis but would think its neat/etc.) But it's also often just cuz the author/artist thinks it's hot. Good for them but it gets so samey.

Both of my parents think I can’t be trusted to do simple things like paint a bedroom, hang up a shelf, or figure out which bus goes to the airport. Worse, they get mad at me when I do these things on my own. It’s so freaking bizarre. A part of me thinks it’s because both of my parents lost a parent young and had to grow up fast, so this is their way of protecting me, but it’s really aggravating. And whenever I try to bring it up, they call me ungrateful.

They didn't treat me like a child when I was one, which is a different issue

That's a good attitude to have. I guess I regret not having a better relationship with my parents. Not that our relationship is bad! We talk regularly, enjoy spending time together, stuff like that. But it stings that they reflexively act as though they have a low opinion of my intelligence and decision-making skills, and that this is a totally reasonable approach in their view. It must partly stem from anxiety and growing older, worrying that I won't be able to get along without them. But... I have never given them a cause for worry? I graduated college in 4 years, with good grades. I'm financially independent. I moved out after college. I'm in a good relationship, with a steady job that doesn't earn big bucks, but it's fine - and more than fine in this damn economy.

But none of them has convinced them that no, actually they CAN trust me to drive across the town I grew up in by myself and run some errands.

I'm sorry it took something like that for your mother to see you as an adult. She's lucky to have you.

Crazy, right? Like, is that an admission she didn't raise you with common sense, or...?

I've read that narcissist parents tend to see their children as an extension of themselves rather than as individuals in their own right. So when the adult child acts in a way they don't expect or don't want, their reaction is a bit over the top negative and the reverse of what you'd expect. A reasonable person would be glad their kid knows how to do all those things on their own, because that's a sign they've grown up and you did your job right. A narcissist gets upset...

Oof. My sympathies. :(

If your parents spent your childhood telling you that you weren't that smart and shouldn't try things because you'd obviously fail, the problem started before you were an adult.

Like my mom still reminds me to take a towel swimming but that's because she knows what our family is like. I also remind her to take a towel swimming. Because we often forget things like towels. Neither of us thinks we're infantilizing each other when we show care. But also even when I was a toddler she treated me as someone who was smart and capable and always learning new things and getting better, and that didn't change when I turned 18 either.

I'm sure for a lot of people their parents not seeing them as adults is a problem, especially when they're new adults, but a lot of times when
I'm listening I'm thinking to myself really, the problem is they didn't like or respect you when you were a kid, either.

"I miss "cis dude who has a vagina because reasons" fic."

That was not ever really a widespread thing.

If I had a replicator I'd probably weigh like 400 lbs.

LOL, same. Unless it's possible to program it to replicate food that tastes good, but has zero calories...

It's funny, because I totally heard your comment in a snotty, posh British accent.

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[ SECRET POST #6418 ]

Re: Is anyone a little weirded out...

Re: Share some good news!

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Adults of FS, do your parents still treat you like a child?

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TW for sexual assault allegations and Neil Gaiman

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Re: Adults of FS, do your parents still treat you like a child?

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Re: Adults of FS, do your parents still treat you like a child?

Re: Adults of FS, do your parents still treat you like a child?

Re: Adults of FS, do your parents still treat you like a child?

Re: Adults of FS, do your parents still treat you like a child?

Re: Adults of FS, do your parents still treat you like a child?

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