[ SECRET POST #6503 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6503 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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06. [WARNING for discussion of Harry Potter, JKR, etc]




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07. [WARNING for discussion of Harry Potter, JKR, etc (probably?)]




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08. [WARNING for discussion of P Diddy and associated crimes]

















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #929.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

03. https://i.imgur.com/s8FuTsP.png

[(Anonymous)]

You're goddamn right she was. I am also still pissed about that nonsense too.

[philstar22]

So, so agreed.

[(Anonymous)]

And Emma Caulfield still gets shit from people for voting Republican.

[(Anonymous)]

Voting R or voting Trump?

[mishey22]

This is one of her last tweets, so I guess not the orange shithead:

I’m hardly ever on here so leaving won’t be hard. Vote for the Earth. Climate change is REAL. White supremacy is a REAL threat. Be KIND to animals. My body MY choice. Lighten the ef up. Breathe. Black Lives Matter. Audit the Fed. What else? Oh Aliens are here.

https://x.com/emmacaulfield/status/1590013865743769600

[(Anonymous)]

I've been hearing for years that she voted Republican.

[mishey22]

All I'm saying is she publicly said a bunch of not MAGA stuff

[(Anonymous)]

The writing (Joss) did Anya dirty like it did every other character.

If you're talking about the wedding that didn't happen, well, it's pretty shitty to blame the guy who was literally mind-raped for being a little wigged about it.

[(Anonymous)]

Just because something shitty happened to someone doesn't mean they are free to do shitty things to other people. And Xander was hardly a good person before that asshole move.

AYRT

[(Anonymous)]

Being violated like that should, at the very least, allow someone time to work through their trauma. Because, you know, his trauma was about him and not Anya.

Wow. Do people hate Xander so much that they won't even allow him to heal after being raped without blaming him for not getting over it for someone else's sake? Seriously?

I'm so glad I left this fandom behind with gross people like you a part of it.

Re: AYRT

[philstar22]

If someone gets raped and then goes and attacks and harms someone who isn't the one who raped them, then yes, they are a shitty person too. Someone doing something to you might justify you hurting them. It doesn't justify hurting someone not remotely involved in what happened to you.

Re: AYRT

[(Anonymous)]

OP

Who are you replying to?

Xander didn't go through with the wedding. He didn't attack Anya or anyone else afterward. He took the time he needed to heal from being Mind Raped. And Xander was assaulted by someone to get back at Anya through him.

Are we even talking about the same characters? Did we watch the same show? Please correct me if you're not replying to my post.

If not, I apologize for my tone. If so, fuck you and your victim-blaming bullshit!

Re: AYRT

[philstar22]

No, he didn't attack anyone. He just walked off and left Anya to deal with everything. I'm not blaming him for being raped. But by leaving Anya to handle everything after ending things with her, he clearly traumatized her. He should have stayed and explained to people or at least stood there with her while she did.

Re: AYRT

[(Anonymous)]

Hugs anon.

Unfortunately, since the show aired, people have decided that hating on Xander for being a human being who is not perfect, while surrounded by fandom's pet feminist perfect snowflakes, is perfectly ok.

I hate what the show did to Anya, absolutely, but yes. The Wedding that didn't happen, just like The Zeppo and the fact that Xander WAS raped by Faith? Are completely made into points against Xander and how Xander is so creepy and whinny and wrong.

But yes, Xander WAS mind raped, and while it was shitty that Anya had to tell everyone the wedding was off? It was not on HIM given that he was JUST coming out of said rape.

Funny how no one is angry at Buffy or Willow (Who were THERE and weren't traumatized in anyway shape or form) didn't take it upon themselves to inform the guests while Xander and Anya tried to heal on their own ways.

[philstar22]

Xander wasn't shitty for calling the wedding off. But he was really shitty for making her go back in and tell everyone. He should have been the one to tell people. Then again, Xander was always an asshole, from the beginning of the show to the end.

[(Anonymous)]

Unbelievable. The utter lack of empathy. You are a horrible person.

[(Anonymous)]

I will add that I've been on this site for years and have respected your posts for just as long, even if I didn't always agree with you. But I never doubted you were a decent person. Now I know you aren't.

[philstar22]

Look, clearly that episode and what happened is triggering for you, and I'm sorry for that. But there are two characters who went through trauma in that episode, not just one.

[philstar22]

Wow. Okay. I have empathy for him, but I also have empathy for Anya. Xander dumped her and just walked away. She had to handle everything from there. You are the one who is acting like Xander is the only person there, the only one who experienced any trauma. What happened to him doesn't change what he did to Anya. And then, many episodes later after he's had plenty of time to heal, he has the gaul to get angry at Anya, who he broke up with and then left to handle everything, for sleeping with Spike.

AYRT

[(Anonymous)]

Xander was raped. Anya was not. What is wrong with you?

[(Anonymous)]

I don't hate Xander. And, while I think he should have canceled the wedding a lot earlier, when he had big doubts about going through with it (or, at least, he should have talked about his doubts to someone), IMO, he was right to not go through with it if was not ready, especially after the traumatizing experience he went through. Maybe he could have asked to report the event until a yet-to-decide later date, invoking an unknown incident; in order to spare Anya the humiliation and disappointment. Then, she might have been more opened to listening to where he was coming from. So I'm sympathetic to him, but I can imagine a few ways he could have handled the situation better.

But I also disagree with you on him having been mind rape. He was shown the worst version of what he believed could be his life with Anya, but it didn't raise to the level of mind rape to me. Because he still had all of his mental faculties/memories/feelings/body autonomy/and so on, and he could have chosen to believe what he was shown or not. He admitted himself to Anya that he had already had doubts before seeing this false future, and that it was just the last push. I think his family and parents (his dad especially) were a much bigger factor in his decision to stop the wedding. Xander canceling because of his very human trauma and past makes this a lot more tragic, IMO. In the end, I feel bad for both him and Anya.

SA

[(Anonymous)]

edit: I don't know why, but I'm still unclear if the real Xander was just watching the bad future or if he was leaving it. Because in the bad future he didn't act like he was our Xander, but the Xander from this version of reality.

If he was watching, I agree that it was traumatazing, and I understand why he did what he did, but I disagree that it's mind rape.

If he was living it (without being able to act differently than the scenario he was in), then, IMO, yes, it would be mind rape.

Re: SA

[(Anonymous)]

*"living it" not "leaving it"

[(Anonymous)]

I agree. And it's annoying to me that in their song in Once More With Feeling he's worried that she's marrying him for money, but 1. he was living in a basement when they got together, if she were after money she probably would have looked somewhere else a long time ago, and 2. she earns her own money and invests it wisely.
Why doesn't he understand his fiancee? Why does the show make her smart and capable but keep treating her like she's not? So annoying.