fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1799 ]

[ SECRET POST #1799 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1799 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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This will probably come across as argumentative and I don't mean it to, but I ask because I'm legit curious. I don't understand... why is it only "yellow fever" that's considered fetishization? If people say things like "I like black guys" or "I'm only attracted to Latina girls" or "I've never had a crush that wasn't white", people usually respond with, "Oh, well you can't help who you're attracted to; that doesn't make you racist as long as you're not rude about it." But it's considered fetishization if it's Asians.

I mean, if those people harrass Asian women, only like them for their looks, expect them to conform to stereotypes, think every Asian person looks like a K-pop model, or just in general act douchey it's one thing... but surely this isn't everyone who has a preference?

(FTR I don't have a racial preference at all and the concept of one is kind of confusing to me, but I don't get why people respond differently in this one case?)

When I've heard people (guys, exclusively) say "I only prefer Asian women", they are also frequently quick to point out how delicate and doll-like Asian women are, or how much they love this sexy anime or that one.

Also, I know this is just my experience, but I've never heard anybody say "I'm only attracted to white people" and not be called out for racism.

I'm just curious, but have you ever heard a minority say they were only attracted to white people and then get accused of being racist? Usually when my friends say something like "white guys are my type," we all just cluck and sigh in exasperation. I mean, I can see why it's so problematic for another white person to say something like that... but it's not the same for minorities (and rightly so).

Yes, but the tongue-clucking disapproval is much more common.

No, I've never seen that (though I won't claim it doesn't happen.) Most people I see just go "Oh." But I have some non-white friends whose say their families don't want them to date outside their race, which I guess is similar.

I've seen the reverse, though - I knew a black girl who got called racist for saying she didn't like white boys. But, that was in middle school, and I think most of the people who said that were teasing her and not actually offended.

So much this. It's like they don't even think of Asian women as human. That's what defines yellow fever to me. Chasing girls who can barely speak English, dating a girl based on her perceived submissiveness, and/or being massively predatory in other ways. (i.e. guys who move to Asia to 'teach English' and fuck their students). I'd call them disgusting as dogs, but that's an insult to dogs.

I don't see this behaviour from other racial preferences or interrelationships -- only white male / Asian female ones. Which makes me suspect even the honest loving ones, if there are any. Yellow fever is exactly what is says on the tin: an ugly disease.

guys who move to Asia to 'teach English' and fuck their students

omg this is horrifying, as a woman who wants to go to s. korea to teach EFL. D: most of the dudes in EPIK seemed pretty cool, but now that you mention it, it wouldn't surprise me if there were some guys who did that. :/

most korean students come out of high school despising westerners because of the royal assholes who taught them english. it's not exclusively a male thing, either, although the men who go have a reputation for being skeevy. some of the more terrible female teachers have a reputation for being arrogant and condescending.

it's sad that a lot of young koreans these days are being exposed to such awful individuals, and drawing their conclusions on western culture around these limited interactions.

99% of Western guys in Asia are douchebags with yellow fever and American military slackjaws (with yellow fever). The only reason there hasn't been a race riot is because... well, guess who has the guns?

some of the more terrible female teachers have a reputation for being arrogant and condescending.

...as an ESL tutor this makes me wince. I was told once by a fellow teacher (who was asian) that I'm condescending with students and I asked him in what way/give me examples but he couldn't give me anything specific. It's been driving me crazy since; I don't know what I'm doing that's condescending but I think I must be doing it. I want to fix my behaviour but I just have no fucking clue tbh.

ESL teachers get no damn feedback. Most people who do the "teach English in Asia" thing have no idea what the fuck they're doing/are seriously underqualified, really. I think a lot of it is unconscious/out of sheer ignorance. That doesn't make it okay, but we go in pretty blind... there's no one to school us and the fact that most people just go for a year or two and leave just as they're figuring shit out makes it worse. The way the entire thing is run is shitty and doesn't make for good teachers. A TESL certificate and a BA do not a teacher make.

IN summary: HALP.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2011-12-07 16:03 (UTC) - Expand

If it helps, I taught English in China for a while, and none of the guys were like that. A lot of them did end up with Chinese girlfriends, but none of them were their students, and it seemed to be more of an availability thing.

Don't tell me you didn't consider this happening before. Do you think a lot of white guys are just 'interested in Korean culture' as they like to say? Really?

Half of the guys I know who went to Korea were horrific perverts who were probably in Korea to escape charges for sex crimes back home. There was a particularly repulsive pick-up artist from Montreal I knew who liked to brag about how many Korean girls' virginities he'd taken, but that's neither here nor there... The other half were fairly normal guys who hated the whole experience because of the previously mentioned perverts who soured it for them and made them all look bad.

These places ought to have background checks, I swear to god...

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2011-12-07 08:57 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

relmneiko.livejournal.com - 2011-12-07 12:46 (UTC) - Expand

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silverau.livejournal.com - 2011-12-07 23:59 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2011-12-07 15:23 (UTC) - Expand

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silverau.livejournal.com - 2011-12-07 23:48 (UTC) - Expand

there's a difference between fetishizing and preferences.

when you have a preference you don't fetishize someone for having it. EG: redhead women are so FIERY and STRONG and WILLFUL is a kind of fetishization. redheaded women are just redheaded women. they can be like any other kind of person.

It's like doing a role play, except the other person you're fetishizing doesn't even know that they've been cast into that role in your head. So they're just going about their business and you're like "oooh yeah fapfapfap everything you do is sexual to me"

that's different from finding certain traits/whatevers ON A PERSON attractive.

This is true and a good point.

It's possible to find people of a certain race more appealing than another strictly based on appearance. The whys and hows of it can vary.

I think a lot of Asian women are very beautiful, but I think the same of women of other races too. If a guy just likes women with black hair and a certain skin tone, who cares.

But I have noticed that guys with 'yellow fever' don't seem to be interested in just looks. They also want the stereotype of a docile animu girl they can show off to their friends (and maybe slap around without repercussion). There are whole sites for communities of old white guys living in bumfuck Thailand because the women there are less 'tainted' by feminism ideas. Submissive oriental lotus blossoms lolololol

best comment

I don't think it came across as argumentative at all...

And I totally agree with you! You don't choose who you are attracted to.

(Personally I find white men more attractive than any other race, with exceptions off course, but that is purely on an attraction level, who I fall in love with is more a personality thing, not a skin color thing.)

part of it is also the history behind it. i'm not saying that other minorities haven't also been objectified, but the asian mail order bride business is still booming. to some extent, i think a lot of people still feel that mixed-race couple down the street came about when the white guy bought the pretty little asian girl from overseas. and even if no purchase actually occurred, society tends to look upon the asian wife as more of a token "trophy" wife than an actual equal partner.

I thought that had been replaced with Russian brides?

In Norway Russian brides are replaced by Thai brides (Even if both are quite common), not sure about the rest of the world though.

We have a reality show about thai wifes living in Norway, never seen it, so I don't know much more about it.

Oh no, saying you only like (insert race) guys and/or gals is also fetishization. I don't know anyone who didn't think that wasn't as fetishizing as 'yellow fever'. A White/non-Black POC person would get the same side-eye if they state their preference for only or mostly for Black guys or gals in my experience as a Black woman in a Black community.

(Although I like to point out that White beauty and the societal value of it functions differently than fetishization of POC due to othering/exoticizing).

I guess because East Asian women are more talked about as of late because the dramatic increase of non-East Asian male/East Asian female couples over the last 20 years or so? And it sucks when a good number of guys who usually profess their love of 'yellow fever' tend to fall into they choose them for the stereotype that society (and media) chose to portray them. I already have a friend who is Chinese-American who had a relationship where the White guy basically when out with her more for her looks and looking for an obedient Asian wife. And you see this more often in an anime club atmosphere too.

Actually the black guys thing is considered a fetish, and there's some pretty complex social stuff going on there in regards to race.

If you don't believe it, look at the horrendous amount of "big black buck fucks tight white holes" porn out there. A prominent feature of this type of porn is how humiliating and 'bad' or 'wrong' it is for a white women to be getting fucked by a black guy, who is often portrayed as animalistic. It goes back to slavery and the stereotype of black men as being near beastial to take as lovers.

I always figured it was because black guys have, on average, a larger cock. And the difference in skin tone accentuates the size and gives a better contrast for the angle of penetration?

There, there, we all have our naivete stripped from us at some point.

Tell me about it, my gyno visit was *nothing* like what porn led me to believe!

"If you don't believe it, look at the horrendous amount of "big black buck fucks tight white holes" porn out there."

...I'll pass.

Anyway, yeah if people have that mentality then it's definitely fetishization, and wrong. I don't think it was like that in the particular instance I was talking about, since it was a Chinese girl who said it, who had mostly black friends so it was probably that she felt she could relate to them best, and she also just said she thought black guys were cute without saying anything sexual.

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