[ SECRET POST #1818 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1818 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 135 secrets from Secret Submission Post #260.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
New Year's Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

12. http://i41.tinypic.com/2nsxvrm.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

I've never understood how pills can fix depression since the problem(s) which causes the depression cannot be fixed by pills.

Either way, I'm happy for you and if the pills eases your depression.

[xelestri.livejournal.com]

Because, in some cases, wouldn't it be a physical thing, and the pills help with that? (i.e. a chemical imbalance in the brain or something that leads to a person feeling depressed more than normal)

[netbug009.livejournal.com]

Not all aspects of depression are just "I have this issue that makes me sad." Depression can be an illness with physical problems.

I mean, just one example: Fatigue. Depression can make people extremely tired, so they can't get things done that most "normal/healthy" people can handle. This is turn ends up making a depressed person - who is also dealing with being very critical of themselves - even MORE depressed and it ends up cycling.

Not to mention a lot of times people with depression will feel low/sad whether they have a good reason or not. People ask me all the time why I feel sad on a given day and while I do have some legitimate issues at times, often the answer genuinely is "I don't know."

I'm sorry if I'm rambling. I'm just saying there's more to depression than what you're implying. You may want to look up some information sometime. ^^

[helenadax.livejournal.com]

Because if you are depressed for a long time, the chemistry in your brain changes. If you're lucky, pills will help your brain to go back to the right chemical balance.

[(Anonymous)]

that's not necessarily true. depression isn't always sourced from a specific problem. there are many theories that state depression may be hereditary or caused by chemical imbalance, not always some kind of life-altering event. it runs in my family but my dad also died when i was young, so i can't be sure as to the exact cause, but i've been on medication for about five years and it's helped me a lot. so i wouldn't generalize like that.

[netbug009.livejournal.com]

I had an issue similar to this once, but I was dealing with bipolar disorder and my writing was fueled by mania. The drug I took helped my depression, but it also took my less dangerous mania moments and made it hard to be creative. I ended up on another medication.

Of course, if you've had trouble finding meds that work and switching again freaks you out, I can't blame you at all. And besides that, there's something more underlying here: Emotions controlling work instead of adding to it.

I'm assuming from your wording that when you say you can't write, it means you never feel inspired to write anymore. I've learned that it helps to just get started, even when you don't particularly feel like it. Start freewriting and jotting down whatever comes to mind. Even if it takes longer than it used to, you'll eventually spark something, and if you really love writing you will eventually eventually be having fun again with it.

I think you can be happy AND have fun writing, anon. It's just that you're used to pulling from a certain trouble in your life that you've overcome to be inspired. It means you'll have to shift your approach, but I believe in you. Anybody who overcomes depression has to have the strength to try different methods, after all. :)

[reynardine.livejournal.com]

I started writing a tl:dr entry here, but here is the short version: give the meds some time and see how they affect your life as a whole, not just on the creativity front. Sometimes, stability is worth it. Sometimes, it is not. It varies from person to person.

In my case, I had too many other (physical side-effect) issues that came up and my doctors finally agreed this year to take me off of them. But that was a long and difficult decision taken after several years of trying many different meds. While I rejoice in the return of mental clarity and creativity, the emotional problems have not gone away. I have to work harder to deal with them.

Good luck to you.

[lonetread]

I've been diagnosed with dysthymia for years, have yet to ask my GP about meds, and this is exactly why. D: I'm sorry, OP, and I hope you find a solution that works for you.

[dgcatanisiri.livejournal.com]

I've noticed that I seem to get a burst of creative energy when I'm feeling really lousy, at my emotional lows. I'm no psychologist, but I'd wager it's in part because it at least makes me feel like there's something that I can control, my fictional world. Once I'm out of those lows, the well seems tapped and I'm giving in to the internet-induced ADD.

Have you tried just some freewriting? Sitting down and writing anything, not necessarily with the intent to pull it together into a story, but just an exercise that will allow you to just get the juices flowing and putting together something? It's worked with NaNo, at least for me, that, even if I'm not feeling what I'm currently writing, if I make myself power through it, I can get back to the good part and then smooth out some of the edges.

[(Anonymous)]

I was in your position for a while, so I understand how you feel. Depression and writing went hand in hand. I'm happier now, but I am still writing. Have you considered finding another route for creativity? Sadness was once a route. Maybe the next thing would be the opposite: happiness, such as reviews on your stories or just feeling content. Or nostalgia; write something when you come across a well-loved old toy or a picture from a happy time in your life, or while visiting a place full of good memories. Or, let passion for some cause be your fuel; when you watch the news and something about your topic comes up, you can get riled up and use that energy to write. Or even use jealousy - "Hey, this person's writing is so good, I'm going to write better than them, starting right now!"

When we are depressed our brains change as does how we live our lives. But that can always change. We can readjust the way we work. Probably won't happen over night, but you'll get back to writing. In the meantime do some mindless writing. Just type away and don't worry about any plot or sense. Just write to let your body adjust to the act of it without the depressed mood. Good luck my friend. :)

[fireholly.livejournal.com]

You might be getting better, but for now, you're still depressed, and tricking you into thinking you're losing your creativity is one of the nasty, evil weasel ways your depression is trying to beat you.

Give it some time. Healing drains a lot of your creative energy. Physically sick people lie in bed all day, and mentally ill people often also find themselves 'lying in bed'. It's a feature, not a bug.

I have been there, and I know how frustrating it is, but just bear with it and when writing is possible, it'll happen. We have this romantic image of the writer fuelled by their sadness, but the truth is that the majority of creatives are middle-class, healthy people without problems getting in the way of them expending free time on creative work. Maslow's heirarchy of needs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs) is a real thing, and right now, you're concentrating on lower tiers.


Hang in there. ♥

[childings.livejournal.com]

I'm more or less in the same exact situation as you are right now, OP. Except that for me it's because I'm not taking any medication. One thing that helps me is to forget about drawing (in your case, writing) completely and find something else to do. I've been playing a lot of video games lately. Or find something else to do that's creative but not as intense, like making icons or mixtapes or something that doesn't take as much effort as writing does. I find that the more I agonize over not being able to draw, the worse I feel, so I just try not to think about it too much.

[ariseishirou.livejournal.com]

Hrm, that sucks :/

A musician friend of mine (who is bi-polar) found that he couldn't write music when he was on his medication. He was happier and his partner was happier for a while but the lack of music just sent him spiraling into depression. He went off them again, got a successful music career, and now just tries to manage his lows. Warns his partner about them and she goes off to have some her-time.

So, I guess it depends on how important writing is to you. It's a horrible choice to have to make.

[(Anonymous)]

I can't offer any advice, but I hope that you (and all the other commenters in a similar situation) can make the right decision. *hugs*

[lilacsigil.livejournal.com]

This happened to me, too, when I started anti-depressants, but the creativity did come back. It came back in a more sustained way, too - I was able to write longer, more coherent fics and have written over 200,000 words this year compared to about 10,000 a year while depressed. Hang in there.

[urplesquirrel.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine who's an artist lost her inspiration after going on antidepressants, but she regained it after about two months or so of medication. If you just went on this medication, keep with it. You just need time for your body chemistry to re-balance. In the meantime, don't stress over it. Enjoy having your depression under control!

[velvet-mace.livejournal.com]

Could just be a dry spell. Let yourself adjust to the meds before you decide you can't write ever again.

[flipthefrog.livejournal.com]

This is super late, but I don't think anyone's said it yet: This sounds like something you should be talking to your doctor about! Worst case scenario is that, even after trying to force yourself to write, and waiting to see if time solves it, you might have to change drugs. However, this is a decision you and your doctor really need to talk about before you do anything! He or she might even have some good advice about how to get your creative spark back, or how other people have handled it (although I do think the advice in the thread is good).

Good luck, OP! And congratulations on finding meds that work!

[vickyblueeyez.livejournal.com]

Which pills worked OP? Send me a PM if you wish. I've been battling it for years (since about 12. 28 now) and I can't find a med that works for me. (effexor, serquil, trazadone, paxil, prozac, ambien, abilify, and cymbalta are the ones I remember being on.)

[aeka.livejournal.com]

NGL, but I was expecting a WATCHMEN secret when I saw the smiley antidepressants.

As for the secret itself, I'm sorry to hear the meds hinder your ability to write fanfics. I had the same problem functioning as well when I was put on antidepressants as a teenager, and even harder to be inspired to draw.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't get this. Whenever I'm depressed, I become so demoralized, just looking at my unfinished stories makes me anxious and even more blocked up. When I'm happy, I'm always daydreaming story lines or dialogue.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not clinically depressed, anon, but I always write more when I'm depressed. The time in my life when I wrote the most my life was totally in the shitter. Going back to read the stuff I wrote is pretty awful, too - really bleak stuff. I think I only write when I have an issue to work out, and when I'm happy I have no reason to escape to a fictional world because RL starts feeling fulfilling to me instead of a painful waste of time. And I feel kinda sad that I can't write anymore, but now I can replace writing with other nice things.

Not sure if this is applicable to you. Just rambling.

[(Anonymous)]

Something similar happened to me when my prescription for my ADD medication changed. It wasn't that I completely lost the desire to write (although it did diminish), but my writing seemed like the spark was missing. I would go back and read earlier pieces and think "wow, that was pretty good, why can't my new stuff be that inspired?" I think it's something to do with brain chemistry and all that, but it sucks from a writing standpoint.

The best advice I can give is that you push through and continue to write even if you don't feel it's as good or if you don't particularly want to. Eventually you can find a system that works while still taking care of your mental health. No writing ability is worth sacrificing that.

[(Anonymous)]

Elizabeth Moon, an author who has struggled with depression herself, has an essay about The Writer and Depression. (http://www.elizabethmoon.com/writing-depression.html) I thought it was interesting.

Also, as an alternative to drugs, large doses of vitamins help some people with various types of mental illness. The International Schizophrenia Foundation (http://www.orthomed.org/isf/isfpublist.html) has some information available about an "orthomolecular" approach to treatment.