[ SECRET POST #1891 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1891 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 81 secrets from Secret Submission Post #270.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 4 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

20. http://i.imgur.com/BmAIp.jpg

[alice-alaizabel.livejournal.com]

I can't sleep without listening to audiobooks, and they're usually of silly kids' books. I told my boyfriend I couldn't sleep without them, and so every time he stays over, or I go over to his, we listen to them. It's actually a bonding experience.

Cliche, but if he really likes you, it won't bother him. Just explain.

[jaquenerd.livejournal.com]

My boyfriend is the same way except he needs to listen to music. I like complete silence when I sleep and had never thought about people needing some sort of sound to fall asleep but it's apparently more common than I thought. tbh the music isn't that distracting and I usually fall asleep quickly so it's all working out anyway, and I'm ok with it as it helps my boyfriend relax. :)

[toft-froggy.livejournal.com]

I agree. I use an ipod to listen to porny fanfic - it's the only thing that puts me to sleep sometimes. As long as it isn't loud enough to bother my girlfriend, she doesn't care. Just tell him you need music to go to sleep, it's pretty common. He doesn't have to know what it is until he knows you better :)

[faeiri.livejournal.com]

See, this is the opposite of me--I can't sleep with music playing. But I don't think it's that weird, OP. We all have our sleeping habits.

[(Anonymous)]

meh, everyone has got at least one insane thing in their life. If that is the limit of your crazy then.....well actually if that is the limit of your crazy the relationship is almost certainly doomed. You are gonna be far too sane and vanilla for him, just wait 'til ya get a load of his crazy. Guarantee it will blow "lullabies" out of the water.

[angelus7988.livejournal.com]

I had a similar problem until recently. I would be tired, but my mind wouldn't wind down. Rather, it would speed up, and I'd begin obsessing and worrying. Music sometimes helped distract my brain. I've since begun taking medication that puts me to sleep 1-2 hours after taking it. Would something other than lullabies help, or is it specifically lullabies?

[(Anonymous)]

Specifically lullabies (I've tried new age, classical, soundscapes/ambience, etc). The whole singing-to-me-like-I'm-a-child thing is what I find to be especially soothing.

When I don't play it I have the hardest time getting to sleep. And it's not even that my mind goes a mile a minute or anything. I just feel like something's missing and I get antsy and it's too darn quiet. I CAN sleep without it, but it's always a rough sleep and the dissatisfaction makes me miserable in the mornings. I suppose it's akin to someone sleeping on a lumpy mattress with itchy sheets, waking up to no hot water, and running out of coffee beans shortly before having to rush out of the house.

I really don't want to resort to medication. Maybe a natural (mild) sedative might work.

You know what? I'm just going to talk to my bf. I don't want to give up my music. Frack/

[lady-wormtongue.livejournal.com]

No lie, I once knew a guy who listened to metal to fall asleep. I have no idea how he accomplished this.

I get the feeling you're more embarrassed that it's lullabies than that you listen to music to fall asleep. Would you consider trying an ocean/nature sounds CD instead? Or maybe switching to something soothing like post-rock or New Age music? Or even one of the Rockabye Baby CDs, they have a whole series of tinkly lullaby versions of songs by pop/rock/rap artists.

[(Anonymous)]

OP:

I've tried all of the above save the Rockabye Baby CDs (i don't think i'd like those). I used to have a really hard time sleeping as a child and the only thing that used to soothe me, according to my mom, was when she sang to me. As she couldn't do that all the time she resorted to lullabies... and, well, I just never broke the habit. It's the whole being-sung-to-like-a-child/soft music thing that I find especially comforting. I can sleep without the music, but it takes me much longer and I never feel the same the next day. I know I rely on it too much but I don't want to stop. I love my lullabies. I just don't want this guy to think I'm an overgrown child (which I guess I am, but...)

[penult.livejournal.com]

Ditto-ing the Rockabye cds. I got them for my niece when she was born and ended up buying a new set for myself. They're oddly calming when I want to listen to music, but don't want to hear the originals because of various reasons.

That and the Vitamin String Quartet has some great covers that are soothing.

[(Anonymous)]

You could also try...not turning to fanfic for personal validation? Maybe talking to the guy in question? (pro-tip: if you can't talk about the overnight stays and what it all entails, you're probably not ready to be doing it.)

[(Anonymous)]

Nah, the fic request is just a bonus.

And we already discussed the whole sex thing. I told him I wasn't ready and he said it was fine, but that he'd like to sleep together (literally) anyway. He only brought it up that once but he's been eluding to it a lot as of late (we've been together almost three months now).

Dude is going to think I'm a freaking child. I'm already five years younger than him.

[checkerblob.livejournal.com]

Hey, I don't think there's anything wrong with looking to fiction for validation- it shouldn't be something you depend on, of course, but it's nice to have fiction to relate to. It sounds like the OP meant it in an "oh, and that would be cool" way, not in an "I need fanfic that mirrors my experiences or else fuck my life" way.

[van.livejournal.com]

I have my own weird sleeping habits--I sleep with a white noise maker, a sleep mask and sleep on my stomach with my face on the mattress and my pillow on top of my head. I've gotten some slack for it from friends (mostly the sleep mask because apparently boys aren't allowed to use them, lol), but most people don't care. My biggest problem would be that I couldn't sleep with music playing, so you'd have to wear headphones or I'd have to wear earplugs, but. I wouldn't be like YOU WEIRD FREAK!!!11 If he IS like that, you're probably better off without him.

[unicornherds.livejournal.com]

That's really not that odd, OP. A lot of people listen to music to fall asleep. I don't see any big difference between types of music. Back in the day I tried lullabies as a way to help me fall asleep (I have a horrid time trying to sleep. Takes me a couple hours every night and I have yet to find a fix.), but they just didn't do it for me.

Really, I wouldn't worry so much or freak out. I know it's not easy to just stop worrying about something that causes you anxiety, but it's really not that odd a habit.

[(Anonymous)]

If you can't abandon the music, use earbuds. The right kinds can be so unobtrusive that you can sleep with them. You can also try a white noise machine, which should give a similar effect without being quite so embarassing.

Or you can try talking to him. If he's a good man he should understand. :)

[hunterwithcause.livejournal.com]

If it's the lullabies that embarrass you, have you tried switching to something else? Someone already mentioned nature/ocean CDs, or how about audiobooks? I have a friend who listens to audiobooks to fall asleep, mostly of the Disney kind.

You could also always try to just not listen to anything when your bf sleeps over. Who knows, having someone else sleep with you might do the trick as well? And if not, you can always say that you're not used to not sleeping alone (anymore), and just blame any restlessness/crankiness on that. Lots of people have trouble adjusting at the beginning of relationships.

[inversecalico.livejournal.com]

Long before one ex and I ever slept together, back in that really fun part of the relationship where it's still a game to find out as much as you can about your partner and they're The Most Wonderful and Fascinating Thing Ever, we had a very casual, humorous but informative conversation about what our respective bedtime rituals were and what type of sleepers we were.

We were both in our mid-20s at that point, and when we did start sleeping together he knew to keep his fridge well stocked with milk because I require a glass before bedtime (I've even gone to hotel bars for one when traveling) and I knew that he had a hard time sleeping unless he listened to the scores from western movies. Yes, cowboys and Indians, the whistle of the wind through the prairies, that distinctive dondondon ieieeieieieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. It was just one more thing that made him him. Judging didn't really enter into it. I'm pretty sure we both thought the other was the most adorably quirky and endearing person we'd ever known. And our odd little sleeping rituals had absolutely nothing to do with the dissolution of the relationship several years later.

[(Anonymous)]

No worries OP - I still sleep with a teddy bear. I haven't yet brought Mr. Bear along on a sleepover, so I'm not sure what my bf would think lol.

If he's the right guy for you, he can darn well suck it up. Good luck!

[megalomaniageek.livejournal.com]

Lots of people listen to music to fall asleep. As long as you can sleep with ear buds or head phones, you can just say "I need music to fall asleep" and it doesn't have to be a big deal. "And it has to be soft, soothing music" - again, nothing weird or shameful about that. Playing the music from some kind of stereo or something may present a problem, though, as many people have a hard time falling asleep with noise they're not used to.

[mutantjules.livejournal.com]

whatevah, man. I recently found out during a road trip to a friend's college that another friend of mine plays classical music (through her headphones) to help her fall asleep. And it was no big deal!

[rapunzelita.livejournal.com]

I don't think that's such a big deal, honestly. You should just talk to your boyfriend, see what he thinks about it. If he makes fun of you or finds it ridiculous, then he's probably not worth your time.

Of course, if the whole idea of him sleeping over makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn't say yes just to please him. But if it's just a matter of those lullabies, then you should just tell him. Trying to replace them with something else just to avoid embarrassment is not going to help you. Hell, maybe is he's nice enough he'll even sing you to sleep, who knows!

(If it's any reassurance, my boyfriend is 12 years older than me and most of the time when I come to his place in the morning, he's still asleep. Hugging the broccoli plushie I bought him. You're not the only one having "child" habits for sleep!)

[camshaft22.livejournal.com]

It's like most are saying... Talk to the guy, explain... I'm sure he'll understand. I personally can't sleep without music either and I haven't had too much trouble with others.

[djmayhem-aubrey.livejournal.com]

I'm the same way. I can't sleep without something playing, or I have a very restless sleep. For me, it's either my ocean soundscape or a playlist of classical pieces and instrumental scores from various movies/tv shows/bands.