[ SECRET POST #1907 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1907 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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07.
[Disney's Gargoyles]


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08.
[X-Men: First Class]


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09.
[keanu reeves]


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10.
[keanu reeves]


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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]


















11. [SPOILERS for Death Note]



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12. [SPOILERS for Kuragehime]



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13. [SPOILERS for The Walking Dead]



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14. [SPOILERS for Supernatural]



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15. [SPOILERS for Mass Effect 3]



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16. [SPOILERS for Mass Effect 3]



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17. [SPOILERS for Mass Effect 3]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]



















18. [TRIGGER WARNING for sexual abuse]



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19. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]



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20. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #272.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - hit/ship/spiration ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[vethica.livejournal.com]

Because sexual attraction, as mentioned upthread, is not the same thing as sexual behavior. You can have sex with someone without being sexually attracted to them, and, as I'm sure many of the people in this comm who are attracted to celebrities and fictional characters can attest, you can be sexually attracted to someone without having sex with them.

What all this means is that being demisexual (or anything else) has no bearing on when or with whom you have sex. It's probably going to influence your choices, but that's true of every sexuality. Demisexuality refers to sexual attraction only, and I'm sure you'll grant that people can't control who they're sexually attracted to.

[(Anonymous)]

blah blah LOOKIT ME I'M A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE


you are the reason no one takes asexuals seriously

[vethica.livejournal.com]

Well, I tried. It strikes me as somewhat rude to request an explanation and then not respond to it, but suit yourself.

[(Anonymous)]

npyrt

There are some people you just aren't going to convince no matter what. If this is giving you a headache, just stick to educating the curious, like the anon below us.

Of course, if you're having fun, then carry on :)

[(Anonymous)]

lmao stop replying to yourself vethica

it's embarrassing

[(Anonymous)]

pyrt

I think it's unreasonable to assume vethica would anon for anything at this point XD I'd never go in with my username attached if I knew I'd probably get torn apart for it.

[ascend.livejournal.com]

ok well i'm not vethica or the anon but hello i agree with said anon

[vethica.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :) I've been appreciating your comments in this thread (assuming there's only one anon defending demisexuality here; I figure there can't be too many).

[(Anonymous)]

Pretty sure it's just me :( I love how you can just say all this stuff without anonning. (Yes, anon is a verb. Everything is a verb!) You're all like, "I have this opinion, deal with it" and they're all like "we hate you, go back to your hole" and you're all like "no, I don't want to, so there". It's awesome.

[vertigomac.livejournal.com]

I'm also appreciate vethica's even responses.

[vethica.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I, well, appreciate your appreciation. :)

[(Anonymous)]

That makes very little sense and doesn't really defend demisexuality at all. It actually seems to make it so it's not important and is unnecessary as a label.

But kudos for staying reasonable and calm sounding in the face of ridic anons.

[vethica.livejournal.com]

Really? I'm interested to know why you think that. I think it helps reinforce the idea that demisexuality - like, as I've said, every other sexuality - is defined only by who you're sexually attracted to, not anything else.

[(Anonymous)]

how do you think things work for non-demisexuals? the vast majority of people feel the exact same way about sex as you do. why do you need a label for it?

[vethica.livejournal.com]

From what I've seen, the vast majority of people are capable of sexual attraction to people they don't know personally. And I can only speak for myself on this one, but I like having a label because it helps me feel more normal.

[(Anonymous)]

You are normal.

JFC you are not special and different. You are a normal person. Tons of people don't feel any sexual attraction to people that they don't know very well. It is not a fucking orientation.

[(Anonymous)]

http://fandomsecrets.livejournal.com/860818.html?thread=533259410#t533259410

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Okay, I'll admit to having a slight learning disability which includes reading comprehension, but basically what I read is "demisexuality has no bearing on your sexual activities or who you are as a person" which means it's a completely pointless label.

As far as I understand it, "demisexuality" means you are only sexually attracted to people you've formed some emotional attachement to. This just seems like a pointless thing to label, as that's pretty much how most people are anyhow. So I'm just really confused about why anyone would call this an orientation or really bother with labeling themselves with it anyhow.

[(Anonymous)]

As I understood it, most people can be sexually attracted to epople they don't know? Like actors and hot strangers for one night stands whose names they dont know or whatever. I thought that was normal, so needing a pre-existing emotional connection is weird?

Idk I'm not demisexual or anything but I'd have thought "I can find total strangers sexy from their photos based on physical appearance alone" was the norm and not being able to do that was weird

[(Anonymous)]

That's what I got. For most people, having the emotional connection is a preference. For demisexuals, it's not a preference, it's a requirement.

Technically if you want to discredit demisexuality you'd be more accurate calling it a fetish (requires emotional connection in order to be turned on) as opposed to a preference (prefers one thing over another).

[vethica.livejournal.com]

Oh, no, I didn't mean to imply sexual attraction had no impact whatsoever on sexual behavior. For most people, it will probably influence a great deal of it. But the group of people you have sex with and the group of people you're sexually attracted to usually won't be exactly the same. And I believe the point I was trying to make was that demisexuality isn't "I only have sex with people I'm close to", it's "I'm only sexually attracted to people I'm close to".

Also, I see what you're saying. Most of the time, emotional attachment and sexual attraction are connected. But (again, I can only speak for myself here) I've had a lot of crushes to whom I was very emotionally attached, but I didn't experience sexual attraction until after I began dating someone, and then only to that one person. So it seems to me that there must have been a difference there, and when it turned out that other people also were like that and had a word for it, I didn't see any reason not to use that word for myself as well.

[(Anonymous)]

Based on what you've said previously in this thread, demisexuality is not defined by who you're sexually attracted to, but on the conditions that must be met before you may become sexually attracted to someone.

Sexual orientations are based on gender: homosexual - attracted to the same gender as yourself, bisexual - attracted to both genders, heterosexual - attracted to the opposite gender as yourself and asexual - attracted to neither gender.

Demisexuality, based on your description, indicates that a person must have an emotional connection to someone before finding them attractive. This is not the same. A demisexual person could simultaneously be one of the other orientations. For instance, if a demisexual person is only ever attracted to people of the same gender (once having formed emotional attachments) then they would also be homosexual, just one who isn't attracted to people until they get to know them. This overlapping makes demisexuality less than useful in a discussion about sexual orientation. Though, I'm sure it's very useful in discussing sexual attraction in individuals and groups.

When someone's only attracted to, lets say, blonds, we don't call that a separate sexual orientation, even if it truly isn't a preference and they only feel any attraction whatsoever to blonds. Why should emotional attachment get a special pass to change orientation? Because it is not physical? That seems to imply that any emotional and/or intellectual aspects of attraction aren't really part of attraction, but something else, which isn't really true.

It if for this reason that while I am certain that demisexuals exist, I think it describes something other than sexual orientation.

[vethica.livejournal.com]

You have a good point. It's quite possible that it's not a sexual orientation as such, and if the community comes up with a better word for it, I'll start using that.

[100101011.livejournal.com]

i literally had never heard of demisexuality before this thread, and i don't really know what i think about it, but what you're saying is logical (and i'm not sure if others are understanding it?). demisexuality could probably be used as a form of slut-shaming, and for all i know, that's all it IS used for, but a slut (not condoning the word, just expressing general opinion of the definition) is somebody who has sex for the physical pleasure of it, where 'deep' feelings are incidental. but the word demisexual seems to define not somebody's sexual choices (as in, they choose not to have sex because they think it's wrong without deep feelings), but rather their actual proclivities (they have no attraction whatsoever without deep feelings, no choice involved). so, i mean, while demisexuality may or may not actually exist, demisexuality is not, by definition, slut-shaming. it could easily be used as such, obviously. but anyway, what you're saying does make sense, at least logically speaking (going off what little information i have gathered from this thread).

[vertigomac.livejournal.com]

This is what I'm getting as well; it in itself, by it's existance, is not slut-shaming. But it can be used as such by the insecure.