[ SECRET POST #1907 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1907 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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07.
[Disney's Gargoyles]


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08.
[X-Men: First Class]


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09.
[keanu reeves]


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10.
[keanu reeves]


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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]


















11. [SPOILERS for Death Note]



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12. [SPOILERS for Kuragehime]



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13. [SPOILERS for The Walking Dead]



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14. [SPOILERS for Supernatural]



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15. [SPOILERS for Mass Effect 3]



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16. [SPOILERS for Mass Effect 3]



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17. [SPOILERS for Mass Effect 3]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]



















18. [TRIGGER WARNING for sexual abuse]



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19. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]



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20. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #272.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - hit/ship/spiration ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

please do explain to me how a sexual identity that is built around "i only want to have sex with people i have deep feelings for, not like those other sluts" is not slutshaming

[(Anonymous)]

npyrt

It's not "I don't want to have sex with them until I know them better", it's "I'm not sexually attracted to them until I know them better". Big difference.

[(Anonymous)]

oh okay

"i don't lust after them until i really know them, not like those other horny sluts"

[(Anonymous)]

pyrt

Being demisexual =/= looking down on people who aren't

[(Anonymous)]

you are just by labeling yourself that

because the label is unnecessary and slut-shamey

[(Anonymous)]

how do you think things work for non-demisexuals? the vast majority of people feel the exact same way about sex as you do. why do you need a label for it?

[(Anonymous)]

Going by all the "I'd hit it" type secrets? No, not everyone is like that.

[vethica.livejournal.com]

Because sexual attraction, as mentioned upthread, is not the same thing as sexual behavior. You can have sex with someone without being sexually attracted to them, and, as I'm sure many of the people in this comm who are attracted to celebrities and fictional characters can attest, you can be sexually attracted to someone without having sex with them.

What all this means is that being demisexual (or anything else) has no bearing on when or with whom you have sex. It's probably going to influence your choices, but that's true of every sexuality. Demisexuality refers to sexual attraction only, and I'm sure you'll grant that people can't control who they're sexually attracted to.

[(Anonymous)]

blah blah LOOKIT ME I'M A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE


you are the reason no one takes asexuals seriously

[vethica.livejournal.com]

Well, I tried. It strikes me as somewhat rude to request an explanation and then not respond to it, but suit yourself.

[(Anonymous)]

npyrt

There are some people you just aren't going to convince no matter what. If this is giving you a headache, just stick to educating the curious, like the anon below us.

Of course, if you're having fun, then carry on :)

[(Anonymous)]

lmao stop replying to yourself vethica

it's embarrassing

[vethica.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :) I've been appreciating your comments in this thread (assuming there's only one anon defending demisexuality here; I figure there can't be too many).

[vertigomac.livejournal.com]

I'm also appreciate vethica's even responses.

[(Anonymous)]

That makes very little sense and doesn't really defend demisexuality at all. It actually seems to make it so it's not important and is unnecessary as a label.

But kudos for staying reasonable and calm sounding in the face of ridic anons.

[vethica.livejournal.com]

Really? I'm interested to know why you think that. I think it helps reinforce the idea that demisexuality - like, as I've said, every other sexuality - is defined only by who you're sexually attracted to, not anything else.

[(Anonymous)]

how do you think things work for non-demisexuals? the vast majority of people feel the exact same way about sex as you do. why do you need a label for it?

[(Anonymous)]

http://fandomsecrets.livejournal.com/860818.html?thread=533259410#t533259410

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Okay, I'll admit to having a slight learning disability which includes reading comprehension, but basically what I read is "demisexuality has no bearing on your sexual activities or who you are as a person" which means it's a completely pointless label.

As far as I understand it, "demisexuality" means you are only sexually attracted to people you've formed some emotional attachement to. This just seems like a pointless thing to label, as that's pretty much how most people are anyhow. So I'm just really confused about why anyone would call this an orientation or really bother with labeling themselves with it anyhow.

[(Anonymous)]

Based on what you've said previously in this thread, demisexuality is not defined by who you're sexually attracted to, but on the conditions that must be met before you may become sexually attracted to someone.

Sexual orientations are based on gender: homosexual - attracted to the same gender as yourself, bisexual - attracted to both genders, heterosexual - attracted to the opposite gender as yourself and asexual - attracted to neither gender.

Demisexuality, based on your description, indicates that a person must have an emotional connection to someone before finding them attractive. This is not the same. A demisexual person could simultaneously be one of the other orientations. For instance, if a demisexual person is only ever attracted to people of the same gender (once having formed emotional attachments) then they would also be homosexual, just one who isn't attracted to people until they get to know them. This overlapping makes demisexuality less than useful in a discussion about sexual orientation. Though, I'm sure it's very useful in discussing sexual attraction in individuals and groups.

When someone's only attracted to, lets say, blonds, we don't call that a separate sexual orientation, even if it truly isn't a preference and they only feel any attraction whatsoever to blonds. Why should emotional attachment get a special pass to change orientation? Because it is not physical? That seems to imply that any emotional and/or intellectual aspects of attraction aren't really part of attraction, but something else, which isn't really true.

It if for this reason that while I am certain that demisexuals exist, I think it describes something other than sexual orientation.

[100101011.livejournal.com]

i literally had never heard of demisexuality before this thread, and i don't really know what i think about it, but what you're saying is logical (and i'm not sure if others are understanding it?). demisexuality could probably be used as a form of slut-shaming, and for all i know, that's all it IS used for, but a slut (not condoning the word, just expressing general opinion of the definition) is somebody who has sex for the physical pleasure of it, where 'deep' feelings are incidental. but the word demisexual seems to define not somebody's sexual choices (as in, they choose not to have sex because they think it's wrong without deep feelings), but rather their actual proclivities (they have no attraction whatsoever without deep feelings, no choice involved). so, i mean, while demisexuality may or may not actually exist, demisexuality is not, by definition, slut-shaming. it could easily be used as such, obviously. but anyway, what you're saying does make sense, at least logically speaking (going off what little information i have gathered from this thread).

[vertigomac.livejournal.com]

This is what I'm getting as well; it in itself, by it's existance, is not slut-shaming. But it can be used as such by the insecure.

[(Anonymous)]

some people don't need super duper deep feelings for someone before feeling sexually attracted to them. demis aren't saying they're better than the people who can feel sexual attraction w/out feelings, just different?? idk why you would arbitrarily tag on "not like those other sluts," i'm sure some demis think like that but it's not the demisexuality doctrine

[(Anonymous)]

DA

I'm bisexual. That means I'm attracted to both men and women, NOT LIKE THOSE OTHER INTOLERANT PEOPLE WHO ONLY PICK ONE.
Because a judgment of other peoples' choices is inherent in my label for myself, right?

Me identification as an atheist is a judgment on people choosing to be religious. My previous label, buffet Catholic (buffet coming from "picking and choosing" what rules to follow) was just attention whoring, because plenty of religious people pick and choose what religious rules to follow without ever accepting a label!

[heavenonhigh.livejournal.com]

Mother of god, this.