[ SECRET POST #1998 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1998 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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09.
[Peter Gabriel]


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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]












10. [SPOILERS for the Hunger Games]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]













11. [WARNING for abuse]



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12. [WARNING for rape]

[Hetalia]


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13. [WARNING for abuse]



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14. [WARNING for gore, animal abuse]
http://i.imgur.com/SjfD3.jpg
[images of actual dead animals and stuff.]



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15. [WARNING for rape]

[Video Games Awesome Live]


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16. [WARNING for abuse]

[Avatar: the Last Airbender]


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17. [WARNING for rape]

[American Horror Story]


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18. [WARNING for dub-con, grooming, brainwashing]



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19. [WARNING FOR general discussion of triggery topics (there's bound to be triggering material in the comments)]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #285.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 (warning for rape) - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

13. [WARNING for abuse]
http://i.imgur.com/9hPuF.png

[(Anonymous)]

Sounds like Stockholm Syndrome to me D:

[(Anonymous)]

Sounds like Sherlock Holm--

Wait, shit, misread. Sorry D:

[(Anonymous)]

As a fellow "real life Rapunzel" myself, I almost feel like I should welcome you to the club. I'll just offer a hug instead.

[visp.livejournal.com]

Well, think of it this way:

1. The things your mother did and does were hurtful before you admitted to yourself that she was doing something wrong. They still damaged your sense of self-worth, hurt your feelings, etc. Only now that you can see it more clearly, you can block it better. Instead of internalizing the hurtful things and accepting them as right, you can go "wait, you're wrong and you're just saying that because you're kinda a shitty person sometimes. That's not something that's true about me, that's just the sort of garbage you say." That way you'll actually be hurt less

2. The fact that you can see that treating someone that way is wrong makes it less likely that you will treat others that way.

3. You can still love your mother and acknowledge that she has good qualities and even loves you and tries to do right by you in some ways, and know that she's also got some bad traits.

[anonymouslyyours]

I really appreciate this comment. I recognized my mother was abusive for a long time before I watched Rapunzel but I never acknowledged it to myself until discussing the movie with fandom friends. I think I was in denial as in "Well it can't be abuse if I love her".

It's really hard to acknowledge that isn't true but doing so helped me realize that a lot more of the negative things I believe about myself came from her and are not necessarily true. I've been using this experience as something to better the way I feel about myself. Maybe I can't change her but I can change the way I receive what she says.

[(Anonymous)]

If Gothel hadn't kidnapped Rapunzel from her parents or kept her locked up inside a tower I don't think she would have been seen as abusive.

[writerserenyty]

The thing that gets me is how Gothel treats Rapunzel and the fact that she doesn't really love her. Every single affectionate gesture is related to Rapunzel's hair in some way, playing with it, stroking it, etc. If you watch the movie looking for this (which I have) you see that all the affection and love Gothel professes isn't towards Rapunzel, but instead towards Rapunzel's hair.

[(Anonymous)]

She might not have been, but she should be. Unfortunately, too many people just don't give a fuck about emotional abuse.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, THIS anon would still see her as abusive as fuck. The constant belittling, the obsessive control, the isolation, the demeaning, etc, etc - that's the abusive part.

[writerserenyty]

:( I think it's hard to necessarily see abuse when you're in the middle of it. *hugs for OP*

[(Anonymous)]

As another "real-life Rapunzel," yeah. It's super hard to see emotional abuse when you're in the middle of it. Sometimes it's even hard to see when you get out of it, and you find yourself making up reasons and excuses for your abuser, and trying to keep a relationship because it's your parent and what sane person would cut off one of their parents so completely and it's a fucking nightmare. :( :( :(

[(Anonymous)]

Sometimes (read: almost all the time) I doubt whether I was really emotionally abused because I've known for a long time that it was abuse. Aren't abuse victims supposed to think that everything is okay? :(

And then I twist my mind into endless spirals, because the whole thing is pretty recursive.

[(Anonymous)]

Reading this made me realize that I'm in the same situation. So...yeah. It's bad for both of us. I know where you're coming from.

[(Anonymous)]

Ignorance is stagnation. Knowledge is power.

When the time comes, you'll have the power to be your own Flynn Rider.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

This is an excellent comment and you should feel excellent for making it.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

This is a wonderful comment. /hugs OP

+1000

[(Anonymous)]

wow. This is a great comment.

[cakemage.livejournal.com]

Short, to the point, and well-put. Rock on, Anon.

[deadtree]

that is a beautiful sentiment.

[(Anonymous)]

This.

It's harder -not impossible, but much harder- for other people to control you, manipulate you, abuse you, etc. when you know the truth.

OP, you don't need a Flynn Rider. A Flynn would be very nice, but the strength to break out of that situation is and will always be in you, no matter how impossible or unlikely it seems to you now.

Try to find independence, first and foremost. Maybe stay with a good friend, ask for help in a help hotline, get a job and save money to get out in an account where your mother can't get to it, etc. There are options, and you're never, ever helpless, no matter how bleak or impossible the situation seems. There is always, always a way out.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm going to go against everyone else in this thread and tell you that maybe you shouldn't let others define your relationship to your mother.

forget what fandom says. Take a good look at your real feelings (not what fandom tells you to feel!) and at your actual situation and then act in a manner that is right for you. You are the only one who knows what you are really going through and fandom (who see everything in black or white and in absolutes and cant seem to accept that there is complexity to human behaviour) is in no way an objective or neutral reference.

and if, after putting fandom aside, your mother is truly abusive, then you should probably seek some help to get you out of this situation (I know that this is easier said than done).

[(Anonymous)]

lol projecting like an imax

[(Anonymous)]

That's an awful thing to find out, I'm so sorry anon.
I hope you're getting therapy and getting out of your situation.

[(Anonymous)]

It's GOOD that you know. Now you can learn and move on and go out and get the treatment you deserve.