fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2002 ]

[ SECRET POST #2002 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2002 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 066 secrets from Secret Submission Post #286.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - text comments ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I kind of suspected he might be gay but now I'm like.. I'm not sure what I should say. I mean of course it doesn't change anything but I don't know what to say to be of... comfort, I guess? He and i have never been very close...

"I kind of suspected" and "of course it doesn't change anything" sound like the best way to go about it.

And then keep your relationship going like normal. Who knows, having shared this with you might help him open up to you in other areas too and you might find your relationship getting closer, or maybe everything will continue as normal. Who knows.

Sounds about right. My dad said something similar when I came out to him. I'm trying to remember what my mom said, but I'm blanking.

I came out to my mom in passing, and she just said that "it's just a phase; you didn't relate to girls when you were a child, so now you're curious in that sense".

I never brought it up again nor dared tell my dad after that. (My mom is more open-minded than him regarding this topic.)

I'm sorry. *hugs*

Have you found someone else to come out to who hasn't shut you down?

Not really. I suspect my best friends would not mind in the least, but I don't really feel comfortable bringing it up just yet. Maybe later down the road.

I don't feel terribly pressured, since I'm been fairly indifferent towards romance and sex, and I truly would not mind if I never had a relationship with anyone. (I think it'd be nice, but if I lived the rest of my life and never had a partner or never married, I don't think I would mind. Maybe wonder on the "what-ifs", but not feel like I wasted my life.)

I'm taking the cowardly route. :(

Maybe if I actually find someone and enter a relationship, then I would probably just announce it, damn the reactions, but while I'm still single I haven't felt the urge to. (It'd be nice to not feel like it's a secret, but... yeah.)

Also, thank you for letting me rant! This something I had never admitted anywhere. :)

I'm taking the cowardly route. :(

BAH That ain't a fair description of anything! Imagine all the cowardly heterosexuals whose sexuality is largely unspoken and hardly worn on their sleeve, especially if they're not in a relationship of sorts.

♥

Thank you. :)

No need to rush, take your time. I didn't come out as bisexual until after I started dating.

This is sort of my plan. Thank you! Letting all that out and reading these responses has been very nice.

Aw, anon. I hope you find yourself a new friend soon who you might share all this with. People need other people.

Re: if it's not too csb

(Anonymous) - 2012-06-27 05:06 (UTC) - Expand

Just keep going as usual. Coming out isn't necessarily a plea for comfort, or reassurance, or asking anything in specific from you. And this could very much be him finalizing this to himself more than anything. Plenty of reasons could be going on there.

And hey, he trusts you :)

Seconding this. I think that the greatest hope when coming up is that the person doesn't think differently of you (obviously, that they don't think badly of you and cut you off from their lives is the main priority, but them walking around eggshells or being awkward around you from then on is a secondary fear).

*coming out

sorry

Best response to coming out I ever got was "...And? ...Well if you're done with unfinished non sequiturs do you want to split the enchilada platter or just get tacos?"

Something similar happened to me, except it was over pizza. :p

Those two anecdotes sound awesome.

(Also, fast food makes everything better. No exceptions.)

:D I have a friend who came out to his buddy at a Sonic drivethrough. Buddy said "Gay for me? Don't worry I've had that happen before. With great hotness comes tragic consequence." When friend said no the conversation devolved into bickering about why the buddy was clearly a superior choice to anyone else friend could ever find so he might as well just pine having been ruined for other men. I remember my friend talking about how relieved he was nothing had really changed.

Best story ever :)

The time I came out to my dad was hilariously awkward.

It had been about a year since my parents got divorced and he was going to therapy. One time he asked me to come along as part of a family session.

I don't remember how it happened, but I mentioned to the therapist that I was sexually attracted to women. We then spent a few minutes discussing how to define sex.

The appointment ended and we were walking to the car when my dad said,"So, you never said you liked girls before."

And I going "Oh my god, I thought I had told you." Dad and I were really close. I had been openly queer for about two years by this point but had never dated anyone.

Everything went smoothly, he teased a little about my absentmindedness and I stopped flailing in embarrassment.

I'm glad it worked out for you!

Yeah, I forgot to tell my grandfather. I had assumed he would have known but realized he didn't when he O.O at me kissing my girlfriend and asked "So, is there something I should know?" He had some problems with it at first but things are pretty good now. Of course now my brother is dating a boy and trying to figure out how to come out as bi because he wants to bring him on the family trip and I just know I'm getting blamed for this one. :(

I wish I had advice to give. To my knowledge, I'm the only one in my extended family who is queer. I really, really hope they don't lay the you made him gay/homosexuality is contageous bullshit on you. If they do, don't be afraid talk about in the general comments. We have an endless supply of virtual hugs.

It'll probably be okay. My siblings and I are closer to each other than the rest of the family. We've handled quite a lot of crap from them over the years and while it'll be annoying I don't anticipate any actual problems that won't be solved by ignoring their requests for free baby-sitting or their favorite dishes at potlucks.

I knew there is a reason I liked you ;)

Celebrate.
Buy him a coming out gift.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2002 ]

my brother just came out to me, what do i do

Re: my brother just came out to me, what do i do

Re: my brother just came out to me, what do i do

if it's not too csb

Re: if it's not too csb

Re: if it's not too csb

Re: if it's not too csb

Re: if it's not too csb

Re: if it's not too csb

ayrt

Re: if it's not too csb

Re: if it's not too csb

Re: my brother just came out to me, what do i do

Re: my brother just came out to me, what do i do

Re: my brother just came out to me, what do i do

Re: my brother just came out to me, what do i do

Re: my brother just came out to me, what do i do

Re: my brother just came out to me, what do i do

Re: my brother just came out to me, what do i do

Re: my brother just came out to me, what do i do

Re: my brother just came out to me, what do i do

Re: my brother just came out to me, what do i do

Re: my brother just came out to me, what do i do

Re: my brother just came out to me, what do i do

Re: my brother just came out to me, what do i do

Re: my brother just came out to me, what do i do