[ SECRET POST #2008 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2008 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 088 secrets from Secret Submission Post #287.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

09. http://i.imgur.com/oSoro.png

[(Anonymous)]

i'm always interested in hearing the stories of real teacher/student relationships. how it began, how it worked out ... that kind of thing. since i feel like all the fandom interpretations of it are very unrealistic.

[writerserenyty]

It is interesting. A student who went to my high school (years older than me) ended up dating not a teacher but an advisor for an activity. I know they didn't get together before she graduated, but he ended up having to leave his job and it was a bit of a scandal at my school. AFAIK they're still together, married, and a happy couple.

[diet_poison]

I think that's dumb. It do think it is highly inappropriate for a teacher (advisor, etc.) to date while that relationship still exists but after graduation? I think it's ok and fair game.

Cold

[trollometer]

You are squicked by fictional representations of a version of your own relationship? Either you are trolling the teacher/student kink crowd (Snape/Harry, Snape/Hermione?) or trying to confuse us. Or, you are legitimate; in which case, you need to have a conversation with yourself about how YOU see your relationship.

Re: Cold

[(Anonymous)]

I think by squick they meant "common squick" as in "people are squicked by the type of relationship I currently have with my partner"

not a personal squick of their own

Re: Cold

[rivia]

but the OP says "a squick I didn't even know I had"

Re: Cold

[trollometer]

Except OP says "...a new fanfic sqick I didn't even know I had," not, "I didn't even know existed." Sorry, anon; OP is referring to a personal squick.

Re: Cold

[(Anonymous)]

You are getting really, REALLY fucking annoying. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you that you think people give a flying fuck about your troll-o-meter? How arrogant can you be, deciding to rate people's secrets as though you're sanctioned to do it? How condescending can you get, seriously writing comments like some sort of authority about all the rest of the commenters?

GTFO. Get another, proper username, and write opinion-comments like regular commenters.

Re: Cold

[(Anonymous)]

IA with you, tbh. Every time I see one of these stupid posts, I roll my eyes.

Re: Cold

[anonymouslyyours]

I agree these comments aren't masterpieces but wow, what is your deal? This sounds really personal. Technically everything trollometer is saying is an opinion-comment, they're just using a different (more annoying) platform than most commenters but the above anonymous replier sounds like they have a way healthier response than your rage.

MY GOD WHAT IS THIS???

[(Anonymous)]

Jeff Goldblum and Benjamin Bratt broke up amicably a few years back, and are still best friends, living in NY as roomies. However, Benji never stopped being in love with Jeff, and has always attempted to manipulate Jeff into taking him back.

Only issue is, Jeff's been dating Samuel L. Jackson for a year now, and they're so in love it appears nothing can break them up.

It's Jeff and Samuel's one year anniversary, and Jeff's present for Samuel is to fulfill a fantasy of his. Samuel and Jeff have only ever had very tender and loving sex, but once Samuel bashfully told Jeff of a fantasy he has where Jeff is tied up and blindfolded, legs spread, just there for him to use and pleasure. Samuel feels horrible for the fantasy, but on their anniversary Jeff ties himself to his bed, blindfolded (he can have help with this, maybe Will Smith or Sam Neill?) and pre-prepped, ready to be used.

However, Samuel's running late to get home from work, and Benji's, well, running early. Benji can't find Jeff so he looks in Jeff's room, finding him tied up and hard as hell. Jeff hears footsteps and begs 'Samuel' to use him.

Benji does, hard, in his ass and his mouth, keeping silent. He believes that Jeff will fall for him again when he realizes how well Benji can pleasure him. Benji gets annoyed every time Jeff says Samuel's name, and fucks him harder.

After they've both cum Jeff shakes off his blindfold, smiling at 'Samuel', before seeing who it actually was and screaming. He's still tied up, but he yells that he never wants to see Benji again, feeling disgusted.

Benjamin Bratt leaves, angry and confused as to why it didn't work.

Samuel comes home and unties Jeff Goldblum, and holds him while he cries about everything that happened.

[(Anonymous)]

Personally, my biggest issues with many student/teacher relationships is the under-age aspect. I just have a problem with an adult dating a kid who's still in high school. I think there are too many potential problems with that and too many ways the adult could be taking advantage of the teenager.

Now if we're talking a student/teacher relationship where both people are of-age, I still think there can be problems, like in any case where there's any big difference in power dynamics, but I'm much more likely to accept that relationship than one with someone who's still in high school.

This isn't to say that every student/teacher relationship is problematic, because I'm sure there are plenty that aren't, but there's a higher possibility for abuse in relationships with that kind of imbalance of power. The same can be said for a boss/employee relationship or a vampire/human relationship. And yes, I'm talking about these romances as they are portrayed in the media only. I have no opinion of them in real life, as it's none of my business.

[diet_poison]

I think if they wait until the student has graduated then it's much less of a big deal. I can see how a relationship could be disruptive to the educational environment, not to mention the whole underage/power dynamics thing, but...once their relationship is on a more level field I don't see why they shouldn't go for it.

I do have opinions about this irl because the "none of my business" thing doesn't really apply when stuff like statuatory rape and coercion can be involved.

[metal_equine]

Where would a teacher/student relationship fall on the scale, when both are of age and the ( male) teacher is significantly younger? Yes, that'd be my man.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, people do see your relationship like that. No avoiding it if you share the teacher/student part; it's a common squick for people because of the (potential) abuse of power/legality of it.

[littlestbirds]

It probably squicks you because the sexual fantasy people have, and write about, deals with fetishes and power dynamics instead of what really happens. Maybe you are uncomfortable seeing other people turn your situation with your partner into something kinky, when it wasn't that way IRL.

I would probably be the same. I hate seeing my identity/subculture/life represented in a way that simplifies it into a trope/easy joke/sex fantasy. I hate hate hate Marigold in Questionable Content for instance.

[fingalsanteater]

I've kind of got to give it to trollometer (while attempting to avoid that shitsorm of a thread) on this one. I'm in a relationship with someone 12 years my senior and if I started finding myself squicked by age gaps in fic, I'd have to question what it was it was about the fictional depiction of a relationship similar to mine that was squicking me.

Now, I'm taking 'squick' to mean 'revolted by' or 'severly disturbed by,' which are the definitions I know. Are you revolted or disturbed only when considering how others view your relationship? Or, are you revolted or disturbed by some element of your relationship that you see depicted in the fanfic?

Either way, I'd still say it still boils down to an issue internal to you and your own view of your relationship and your partner. You may want to consider what it is exactly that is squicking you and why.

[(Anonymous)]

Fandom is not the best place to go for opinions on real relationships. There is too much disregard for the reality of the situation in order to satisfy a kink which typically involves an abuse of power.

It is difficult to compare your situation to anyone else's, too, so no one can say how your relationship was viewed. Maybe people saw two consenting adults and figured that you both were mature enough to handle the age gap. Maybe people were squicked at first until they were able to adjust to the type of relation you have and gain a better understanding of it.

Try looking at the reasons as to why the age-gap and teacher-student relationships bother you. If your relationship fits those reasons, then people probably have those thoughts. If not, then there you go.

[loki]

I like how you seem surprised by the squick, and how other people might have seen you. If you're actually for real, I would have assumed the huge weight of society disapprobation, and the guidelines in place for teachers, would have made you think a bit more than you're coming off as having done. *shrug*

[lilacsigil]

I'm squicked by age-gap and teacher/student in fic because of the way it's fetishised. In real life age gap doesn't squick me at all if both parties are of age and there's no coercive element (e.g. university teacher and student). Definitely not the same thing.

[(Anonymous)]

Honestly though, I don't think Mystique deserves it. Kurt and Rogue may have turned out all right, but that was only because they weren't raised by her, and really had no idea who she was until they were both almost adults.

I mean, with Kurt, he had been wondering about who his real parents were his whole life, and suddenly, this person whom he had identified as the archenemy turns out to be his own mother, who had never tried to talk to him, never confronted him, even though she definitely knew who she was. Talk about a shocker. Then she goes and messes with him, first by deliberately going out of her way to get his attention, then completely ignoring him for the rest of the show, which drove him a little bonkers in Impact.
In between those times, she tried to kill his friends and teammates, blew up his house and belongings, and royally screwed with his sister's head. Not to mention that the time he did get emotionally invested in her, it totally bit him in the ass when she came back, and promptly began destroying things as a Horseman. Can you imagine the emotional trauma that would cause?

Rogue was the smart one of the two actually, since she already knew what kind of person that Mystique was.
Perhaps, in some way, Mystique did love Rogue, but she loved her powers more, and used Rogue because of them. That's why she was so angry with Kurt when he brought the statue of Mystique home, because of how much Mystique hurt her and because of how much Mystique would have hurt him, too.

While Magneto definitely isn't going to be getting any father of the year awards, what he did to Wanda cannot even compare to how much Mystique did to her own kids.

[(Anonymous)]

Going anon because people flip out over this: I'm a teacher, and I've dodged this bullet twice. In one case, the student was brutally honest with me about what was going on emotionally on his end, we agreed it was too much like that Police song, and we were careful never to be in a situation where anything might happen, or anything that might be misconstrued. The other time, he didn't bring it to my attention (thank goodness) and neither of us ever said or did anything about his crush, although I know his friends teased him about it. Fortunately, I'm now old enough that it's not likely to happen again - both of these happened when I was still fresh-faced out of college.

From the perspective of the teacher, it's incredibly problematic - on the one hand, you're not allowed to acknowledge the kid's feelings, certainly not return them. On the other hand, you don't want to hurt their feelings or make them feel rejected, either - they're still people. And on the third hand, you have to focus on how this will affect how the kid learns in your class.

At least both cases were high school upperclassmen - I can't imagine trying to deal with it with a younger kid.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, it is.

[(Anonymous)]

Age differences squick me too. I don't know why.